One of today's readings:
Brothers and sisters:
Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing;
if tongues, they will cease;
if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child,
think as a child, reason as a child;
when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,
but then face to face.
At present I know partially;
then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.
My greatest "failure" at love was my abortion. When I read the above bible verse I can see just how selfish and unloving the act was. I was blind and ignorant of what true love was. All I could see was my own survival. In the end, this ultimate act of selfishness not only killed my unborn son, but it also was an act of selfishness and void of love for myself. It did not help me, it destroyed me.
In the end, the love of my son and God taught me what true love is. I am still learning and I fail often, but I have learned that it is in the giving of self that we are filled. The sacrifice of love, that we come to receive love beyond understanding.
I pray to always rejoice in the truth even if it is difficult. To love in spite of the pain, and to one day join my son in the perfect love of Christ, where I will finally get it right.