In 1997 I dated a girl for three months. We were having unprotected sex and she became pregnant. We discussed the pregnancy and decided to tell her parents about our future in becoming parents. When we notified her parents, they did not share the same excitement that we did. They talked her into having an abortion.
Father Feeling Helpless With Abortion
There is no doubt, from a legal standpoint, that it is a woman's choice and right to have an abortion; this is a fact. I personally disagreed with the mother of my child terminating her pregnancy and voiced my opinion several times to no avail. Thoughts of homicide and suicide came. I began drinking very heavily and exhibited careless behaviors.
Abortion is Unnatural
As far as I know, humans are the only species who destroy their own offspring by abortion. The natural protective father in me wanted to protect the unborn. I felt nervous already about becoming a father. Then, the added confusion of the mother ending the pregnancy twisted my mind to the brink of insanity.
Recovering From Abortion As A Father
The only way I know how to recover from a woman having an abortion is to tell the story. There is rage, anger, hurt, and embarrassment. The rage and anger is towards myself for not doing more to stop it; then the rage and anger towards the mother for doing it. The hurt is the fact of losing something I instinctually felt I should protect. The embarrassment is people knowing I failed as a father in this aspect. Many men go the way of homicide, suicide, or domestic abuse. Sometimes all three unfortunately take place. The most important thing for men to know is they are not alone in their feelings or secret world of shame and confusion.
We are so excited that our "Morning of Prayerful Remembrance" will be televised from St Patricks Cathedral this year on Saturday, January 15th. It is a wonderful way to enter into prayer for the anniversary of Roe vs Wade, and a way for those who may not be able to get to Washington to do something to commemerate all those who have been touched by abortion.
We are also, happy to say that it continues to spread throughout the country and that other diocese will be doing it as well, among them Paterson in NJ, and also In Texas.
For information on how to do the service please contact us. All materials are provided. Here is the description to give you a better idea of what it is. Hope those of you in the NY area are able to make it!
An Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance and Intercession
Each year as the anniversary of Roe v. Wade approaches, the truth that the wounds of abortion impact each of us in our respective communities manifests itself anew and in an ever more vigorous way: far beyond those directly involved in the act of abortion itself - whether it be one’s co-worker, one’s neighbor, friend, relative, fellow parishioner - we have all been affectedby the loss of each aborted child and by the often hidden suffering of their post-abortive parents.
An Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance and Intercession (APRI) is, as its name suggests: a prayer service, created in the spirit of the New Evangelization, for the entire local community. Acknowledging abortion’s universal impact through reflections and testimonies offered as part of the day, it gives the opportunity for all of us to come together in an extended period of prayer, contemplation, and intercession in the context of the Church’s Sacraments, seeking forgiveness and healing for our entire nation. The day includes an opportunity for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, a period of silent, Eucharistic Adoration and concludes with the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.
To offer a concrete expression for the USCCB’s nationwide Day of Prayer and Penance on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade; while APRI could be done anytime during the year it is a particularly appropriate event on or around Jan 22
Attempts, by its very nature and the advertising surrounding it, to bring a greater awareness of the far-reaching effects of the sin of abortion on individuals and society as a whole (see Sample flyer)
Looks to promote awareness of post-abortion healing and appreciation for its vital role in building an authentic culture of life
While intended for every one in the community, hopes to specially draw those silently suffering from a personal loss to abortion (woman, men, grandparents, relatives, friends, siblings…) safeguarding their anonymity through the universal, communal prayer aspect
This is a site I found through some pro abortion/post abortion sites. I was surprised when I began to read the stories posted, they all seemed to be experiencing regret following their abortions...I must say, I am pleasantly surprised that they have allowed women to voice the truth of their abortions without any apparent screening...their opening page states,"By posting as many anonymous stories as possible, Project Voice hopes to show that women need not feel alone, as abortion is a choice many women have made, and continue to make, for their own reasons."
While this is true, just reading the stories will confirm the fact that most times it is not really the women's choice, and the decision comes with a heavy price, not the least of which is the death of their unborn child....
So one giant leap into Advent, and here we are! I have to admit, it seems no matter how much I try, I always seem to get caught up in the craziness and find myself at Christmas having not experienced the "glorious expectation" of His coming. I spend so much time running around it zooms by with me not really doing anything much extra to prepare my heart. Oh, I have good intentions, but between shopping and cooking and guests etc, the time just passes.
I am hoping this year is different since I decided to try another tactic...I got all my shopping done BEFORE Advent began! So, here I am, the 1st sunday of Advent done! I do not need to go into any stores, or search any cirrculars, I actually feel free to give Him my undivided attention and "prepare the way" for His birth in my heart, and I am excited with just the thought of it.
So, I am off to a good start. Yesterday I went to confession, the vigil Mass and then participated in the Prayer service for life ...it was a wonderful gift to me to begin the Advent season.
I do not know what is going to happen, but day by day I hope to meditate on the glorious expectation of His birth, growing more excited as each day we come closer to the birth of Mercy Himself, which saved me from my sins.
when I first began reading this I got a little worried because I thoughtit was going to say you needed to speak out to be healed, but it did not, in fact, I thought it was a great post about sharing about your abortion in a way that was unselfish and allowed those you told time to process, grieve and yes, even become angry :
Most women who complete the Forgiven & Set Free Bible Study receive substantial healing, yet many slip back into bondage of secrecy because they do not take the final step of testifying to others. Many women have not even told their immediate family about their abortions, precluding the possibility of sharing with others. In addition, secrets within the family are destructive. Full, free intimacy between husband & wife is impossible when they keep secrets from each other. Satan would like nothing better than for the healed post-abortion woman to remain bound by her secrets because it thwarts her joining God in his ministry of reconciliation.
Who are the people you fear know your secret? What are you particular fears about telling each person you’ve named? Take these fears to the Lord and ask Him for wisdom. Who NEEDS to know? When? How? People who need to know before you are free to speak out publicly are husband, children, parents, siblings, and in-laws. Telling others about your abortion requires preparation and prayer. When sharing your story:
In most case it is appropriate to briefly share about your sin of abortion, the sorrow and pain it caused you and then move on to what God has done for you. However, if you have wronged another person, you will need to give time to expressing your repentance and asking his/her forgiveness (example: not having told you husband, mother, etc.)
NEVER make excuses, justify yourself or shift responsibility
Share your desire to obey God’s command to proclaim God’s offer of healing and restoration and to help prevent other women from making the same damaging choice.
Family members may be disappointed or get angry with you. It may take time for them to grieve and come to peace with this knowledge. Allow them the freedom to raise the subject again and ask questions. Don’t get defensive and try to justify yourself when they express what they are feeling. Remember, you are forgiven and there is now no condemnation for you in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1).
Telling your children is an especially delicate situation and must always be for their benefit and NOT for your own purging.
I obviously am not posting this in relation to Fanastia's affair but the fact that she tried to comit suicide following her abortion. Don't know what she knew at the time or did not know regarding the father of her baby, but it is really sad ...pray she has gottenhe rlife together now.
Fantasia Barrino admitted in a North Carolina court on Monday (November 22) that around the time of her suicide attempt earlier this year she had an abortion after getting pregnant by married lover Antwaun Cook.
RadarOnline is reporting that the explosive testimony came during Cook’s divorce proceedings with his ex-wife Paula where the singer was being questioned on whether she knew Cook was living with his wife when they started their affair.
Fantasia, who is a single mom to daughter Zion, 8, tried to kill herself in August reportedly after reading a court complaint filed by Paula accusing her of being a home wrecker. “It just became heavy for me, so I just wanted to be away from the noise,” Fantasia said in an interview at the time.
Along with several others, I testified the other day at a hearing of the New York City Council in consideration of a bill that would regulate crisis-pregnancy centers.
Such centers, staffed by volunteers and people of good will, try to give women options other than abortion when facing unexpected pregnancies.
In a political payback of grand proportions and under the usual guise of care for women, the council is seeking to pass legislation based on a report done by NARAL Pro-Choice New York titled “The Lies, Manipulations, and Privacy Violations of Crisis Pregnancy Centers in New York City.” Key to the report is the claim that CPCs pose as medical facilities and mislead pregnant women since they do not provide abortions or contraception. CPCs who advertise themselves under “Abortion Alternatives” must now advertise what they do not offer. Are other nonprofits forced to operate this way?
Entering Canaan Entering Canaan is comprehensive post abortion ministry consisting of Day of Prayer & Healing, weekend Retreats and monthly Gatherings. It also includes a yearly "Mercy Renewal Retreat" which enables those involved in the ministry to come aside each year to grow more deeply in their healing and faith.
Lumina Hope & Healing After Abortion A post abortion ministry of Good Counsel, Inc., Lumina provides groups, retreat days, trainings, public speaking, & referrals to post abortion ministries, professional therapists and clergy.
Abortion Recovery International ARIN is an affiliate association, dedicated to connecting and assisting like-minded abortion recovery centers, programs and services; as well as individuals working within the field.
Ramah International Assistance for those hurting from post abortion syndrome through communication, resources, and local referrals.
Project Rachel The Catholic Church's healing ministry for those who have been involved in abortion.
National Office of Reconciliation and Healing A network of researchers and psychotherapeutic professionals working in the field within the U.S. and abroad, consulting on the formation of post-abortion support services within secular and religious settings.
Rachel's Vineyard Rachel's Vineyard retreats combines a unique and creative process for psychological and spiritual healing.
Safe Haven Ministries Safe Haven is a peer site for those who have had abortions to find comfort, hope, understanding, and healing.
Ramah International – Sydna Masse’s Blog
Ramah International, Inc. was founded by Sydna A. Masse, a post-abortive woman who experienced God’s healing touch eleven years after her abortion through a crisis pregnancy center’s ministry program.
After Abortion Life after abortion: News, opinion, personal experience, resources