- By Theresa Bonopartis
- Catholic Online (www.catholic.org)
I can still remember it as if it were yesterday, making Christmas stockings for my nieces and nephews the Christmas immediately following my abortion. That was over 40 years ago, yet I remember those stockings vividly; the materials, the graphics, the pain of sewing them together as I thought of my son who would be missing from the Christmas celebration.
That agonizing pain did not leave as the years went on, although I must admit, I went into such deep denial, I was not aware that my lack of joy was a result of my abortion. Society did not acknowledge my pain and grief, and so, in order to survive, I pressed them into the recesses of my mind, and like everyone else seemed to do, I denied their existence.
Over the years, no matter what my situation in life, Christmas was a time of turmoil, a dreaded event. Even with the birth of other children, many Christmas eves were spent crying, as I set up toys, not really understanding why I was feeling the way I was. This was supposed to be a time filled with joyful expectation, but I was anything but joyful.
When I finally found someone to help me through my healing process, I began to see the reason for my sadness and everything began to make sense. My "no" to life became magnified by Mary's "yes".
I also was all too aware of the absence of toys that would never be brought by Santa and placed under our tree for my aborted son, and the emptiness of the space at the family holiday table seemed to scream at me. There was no room for the birth of Jesus in the stable of my heart. It was deadened because of my sin.
read the rest here:http://www.catholic.org/clife/advent/story.php?id=43869