Articles attempting to debunk the negative experience of abortion continue to be everywhere. Those of us who have experienced the negative consequences find it frustrating and unjust.
By Theresa Bonopartis May 29, 2018
In late April The New York Times posted a survey asking women to share their experiences with abortion. The paper has a long record of gaslighting women who regret aborting their children, insisting post-abortion trauma doesn’t exist and marginalizing the feelings of millions of women.
In the #MeToo era, at a time when feminists repeat “every woman should be believed” like a mantra, was the survey a signal The New York Times finally recognizes the suffering of so many women? Would the newspaper finally stop telling women their feelings aren’t real? I doubt it. Articles attempting to debunk the negative experience of abortion continue to be everywhere. Those of us who have experienced the negative consequences find it frustrating and unjust.
“The Conversation” recently published an article telling us “There is no evidence to suggest that induced abortion has any significant impact on persistent and serious mental health issues.” BuzzFeed News was also right in there with the article “Here’s Why Mamamia Just Deleted an Article About Abortion.” The article goes on to tell us once again about the lack of “evidence” about abortion’s negative impact.
Even a Small Percentage Is Millions of Women In the article, Kate Marsh of Queensland pro-choice counseling service Children by Choice states, in an attempt to solidify abortion supporters’ beliefs, “We offer post-abortion counselling for the small numbers of women and pregnant people who’ll require it, but it makes up less than 5% of our work,” she said. “This is demand driven, not because we’ve decided to only devote a small amount of time to it.”
In the United States since the passage of Roe v. Wade in 1973, we have aborted 60 million unborn babies. Five percent of their mothers experiencing regret, which for many reasons I believe is extremely low, would still mean we are speaking about millions of women. Secondly, would those experiencing negative effects go to a place where it is obvious their experiences are denied, and they are told their struggles do not exist? Of course not!
A quick look at quoted research papers or Web sites such as the Guttmacher Institute, a former arm of Planned Parenthood whose business is abortion, would quickly let a woman know that she is not allowed to say abortion hurt her and that if she is saying it did, she certainly had prior mental health issues.
It is hard to ignore the hate for the Catholic Church, especially as it has been voiced in the recent referendum vote in Ireland. There is rarely an article that does not see the “yes” vote as an affront to the faith. It is sad.
Part of it is understandable with the amount of abuse that was allowed to continue within the church. 101 priests were accused of abusing children in one diocese in Ireland in the 1990’s. There is no disputing the church did not handle the allegations correctly. The wounds are deep and unfortunately, the church did not help itself. But, the sins of men, even if they are priests, is not the Catholic faith.
Still, it is hard for many to look at the church as a moral authority when these incidents occur. Sadly, abortion is seen as a religious issue instead of what it actually is, a human rights issue. The backlash of the abuse issue has made its way into the dynamics of abortion, making it a very personal attack against the church instead of the reality of what it is, an attack against the value of human life, the unborn, and everyone else abortion impacted by abortion.
The Sunday edition of the Irish Independent posted the picture below illustrating just how deep their wounds and hatred go. "Obstruction removed" is far from the truth and makes clear their ignorance of the consequences of abortion which is sure to provide countless obstacles for those who have them. Obstacles of shame, guilt, grief, poor relationships, discord, and lack of trust. I could go on and on.
For those of us who know the power and history of the rosary, the picture confirms the demonic aspect of abortion, not that we needed a cartoon to know that was true.
I wish every person who is filled with such hatred and those who are deeply wounded would read Fr. Thomas Bergs book, “Hurting in the Church, a Way forward for Wounded Catholics" In the end, the abortion referendum is not going to free anyone, but only cause the death of countless unborn and the destruction of more human lives.
Countless numbers of saints, including Pope John Paul II, Padre Pio, St. Josemaria Escriva, Pope Pius XI, and Archbishop Fulton Sheen called the rosary "a powerful weapon against Satan."
Let us pray for their intercession as we all pray the rosary for Ireland.
I always find I am solemn on Memorial Day..it is hard to BBQ and kick off summer when you know families who have lost their sons to war. I feel their pain. Especially the families I know. Besides, it is important not to forget what Memorial Day is and the reason we are off..somehow that has gotten lost in the beginnings of summer.
Maybe it is because I know what it is like to loose a son, not to the Iraq war, but the abortion war.I know I would not want anyone to forget him. I also, of course know what it feels like to have a son serve. That constant fear of losing them. It is always there when they are at war. every knock on the door or ringing of the phone brings with it a dread of what may have happened.
One of my sons closest friends died in Iraq.. His name is Michael Glover. Mike was an extraordinary guy,big heart and faith filled.
I can still remember the morning we got the call, My Mike just happened to be home on leave. It is still so surreal, you want to believe you heard wrong, how can it be? I think of his family often and pray for them...I am sure it has not gotten any easier over the years.
There are major differences between military losses and abortion. These men & women have made the ultimate sacrifice for us. A complete giving of self. Our abortion were the opposite, we served self no matter how unwillingly.
Sixty million lost since 1973 and most are in denial. IT is good to remember the millions we have lost on that battle field as well.
I will be speaking at this Conference on Humane Vitae, July 21st, on "50 Years Later - A Culture of Life or Death?"
Sadly, I see the prophetic words of Pope Paul VI in Humane Vitae everyday in the work of post abortion healing as we hear from women, men and siblings who have be harmed by abortion, but the contraceptive damage goes much deeper than that damaging relationships and the very dignity of who we are as children of God.
But, there is hope, because we have an amazing, merciful God!
I am excited to announce that I will be doing a quarterly series of radio shows on "Love Will End Abortion" with Jim Havens. The show will focus on my book, "A Journey to Healing Through Divine Mercy" and will address by season the meditations offered within it that address issues specific to post abortion healing.
Some diocese have used the meditations in the book as a catalyst for group discussions. These shows will give us an opportunity to touch on the many dynamics encountered in healing and ways, through the meditations, to move past the pain.
I hope you can join us live! The first one will be on July 10th at 4pm, info in flyer below. You will be able to call in with comments/questions. The show will be repeated on Saturday for those unable to participate in the Tuesday airing.
I was amazed at how many people participated in the conference (4000 from all over the place), and remember I was glad I had not had the view from the podium to the audience before I was to give my talks. The sheer numbers were overwhelming, and I was so grateful to God this pro life country had not given in to the scourge of abortion.
Still, after my talks, I could not walk two steps without someone approaching me who was post abortive. Many had travelled to England in order to terminate their pregnancies, but were now looking for peace and reconciliation with our God of mercy.
I've kept in touch with some of the organizers of this wonderful yearly conference.
I just got this email recently from my friend Paul the other day:.
Dear Sr Alicja and Sister Marie-Vianneya, and all our Divine Mercy friends,
Thank you for all your faithful prayers for so many years for Ireland.* Please pray for our country for next two weeks in a special way to prevent abortion being legalized by the very divisive referendum on Friday May25th. The polls now show that unless we pray harder now, the pro abortion side will win. Jesus, have mercy on Ireland. Look not on our sins but on our Faith.Mary, help your faithful people who are now badly outnumbered by the pagans. Give us new courage, our Mother and Queen. Holy Spirit, enlighten our confused young people, please God.* Turn Ireland back to Love and Peace and Goodness.* Help us all “Choose life”, decisively**And witness Your Hope to the whole world**like a candle in darkness. Spare us, O Lord.* Sincerely,* Paul*
My heart breaks when I think of the devastation this will cause in the country. No one really has an idea of the implications of the aftermath. It is truly opening the door to evil and destruction not only of the babies, but of the moms, dads, sibling and society in general.
Wisdom enables us to see life from God’s perspective. From a purely human point of view, so much of what we experience may not make sense when we focus on the material things of the world instead of looking at things from the perspective of everlasting life.
As we work through healing from abortion, wisdom can show us how God can use even this for good. Not that He wanted it, but that in spite of our weaknesses; He can turn even abortion into something that brings us closer to Him in showing us our dependence on Him. In our humility, we recognize how we were living life according to worldly standards.
Lord, give us your Spirit of Wisdom that we may see the world not as our final destination, but as a road to heaven.
…The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly…” The Gospel of Life #99
As we approach the Feast of Pentecost we are reminded of the transforming power of the Holy Spirit on the apostles. In an instant, men who had been hiding in the upper room, filled with fear and shame, became courageous disciples, proclaiming the Gospel throughout the region.
The gifts of the Holy Spirit, wisdom, knowledge, counsel,understanding, courage,reverence, and fear of the LORD allowed them to step outside of themselves, and the life of Christ to live in them, enabling them to see and live in truth, trusting that His Spirit would guide them.
In the Gospel of Life, Pope John Paul II calls those of us who are post abortive to live in truth as well, “try to understand what happened and face it honestly”, but doing this is impossible if we do not know the love of Jesus Christ and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Abortion is just too horrific to look at without the light of His love. Like the apostles before the coming of the Holy Spirit, we too are fearful, and so we hide in our self made “upper rooms” of our abortions, full of shame and afraid to stand in the truth. It is only through the life of Christ and His Spirit that we receive the courage and understanding we need to work through our healing and proclaim the truth of abortion.
As we grow in our faith and healing, we begin to step out in trust. We learn God does not let us down, as perhaps many, including ourselves, did when we chose abortion.
We come to realize He is Truth and Mercy Himself, and His peace begins to dwell in us. Each gift of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, becomes a new opportunity for us to face our sinfulness in the light of the love of God and to grow not only in healing but in our relationship with Him.
It is not always easy. The ploys of the devil still attempt to create doubt in God’s mercy and forgiveness, but if you continue to trust in spite of what you feel, you will soon come to find the truth never lets you down and the truth, who is Jesus Christ Himself, will set you free. So, “Do not give in to discouragement and do not loose hope”. (The Gospel of Life). The hope of Christ, who freed us from our sins, even our sin of abortion, is there for each one of us through the gifts of His Holy Spirit.
When we found out I was pregnant, we were ecstatic. We wanted to do everything right; eat well, sleep a lot, ponder the sex, and its name. We had gone to a highly recommended doctor, asked all the right questions and giggled with glee at home over the thought of our soon-to-be offspring. I remember calling my dad and saying, “we passed the Downs Syndrome test. Thank God.” It wasn’t until a few weeks after that, that I received a message at work from our MD that we had a marker. I was confused. I immediately called my mom in a panic and cried. It couldn’t be real, but something inside told me I should be worried. The doctor urged me to set up an amnio just to make sure. He assured us it was nothing and soft markers showed up all the time. They were always a mistake, someone else’s mistake. A 30-year-old healthy female would never give birth to a disabled child. It just wouldn’t happen. Not to us. We got the chilling results of our tests on December 5, 2009. We were waiting for our hamburgers and fries when my husband’s phone lit up with the bad news. I was in such disbelief, but wanted to keep the baby. We cried and cried and found out it was a baby boy that night. The doctor said I would carry him well since I was so young. There would be no problem with the rest of the pregnancy except that he had Downs. Young, naive, and worried about the future life of this child, we tormented ourselves for the next few weeks. We decided to get all the answers we could possibly get before the baby got any bigger. We prayed and cried and screamed and held one another for days. When we weren’t surfing the Internet for answers and solutions, we were calling centers, psychiatrists and hospitals to get more advice. Everyone tried to help. They cooked, cleaned for us and made things as comfortable as possible. In the end it came down to me and I decided to end all hope of that pregnancy on December 18, 2009. I can’t even write what happened to me in the days and months following. The only thing that kept me alive was the love and support of my family and the prospect of eventually having another baby. I got pregnant with our daughter 4 months after my termination. I told my husband I didn’t want to do invasive prenatal testing because I made the wrong decision last time. He didn’t agree. Even after our horrible experience, he wanted to know all the answers again. He felt very strongly about disabled children (and would have been more accepting of one this time) but didn’t want any surprises. I threatened him with divorce and listened to my heart. He backed off. After getting the non-invasive nuchal sonogram test, we were told our daughter had a 1 in 24 chance of also being Downs. Our nightmare returned. How could this happen again only 4 months later? It had to be a mistake. But through faith and experience, I made sure I would not turn my back on another unborn child EVER. Our new, understanding doctor also suggested an amnio. He had me schedule it. I contemplated doing it just to know but I didn’t want to be faced with any decisions. I was afraid of myself. I just wanted to have this baby no matter what. Our daughter, our angel, was born perfectly healthy in January 2011. This is such a brief synopsis of my story, our story, our heartache, our despair, our ‘why me.” We were broken by what happened. Our daughter is our angel who is here for a reason, but we suffer every day because we made the wrong decision and weren’t strong enough to take on what was presented to us. Now we must grieve inwardly and that is harder than anything. We have found light in our new baby and in all that she does but we learned the most valuable lesson of all; always respect life. I hope that women out there who are suffering with a poor prenatal diagnosis can see the light and know that the darkest days are the ones they are living. You can and will make it through. I wish I could have had the patience, faith and confidence to move forward back then. Now I will have to wait a lifetime to meet my son, but he’s in my heart every day. ~SD
Entering Canaan Entering Canaan is comprehensive post abortion ministry consisting of Day of Prayer & Healing, weekend Retreats and monthly Gatherings. It also includes a yearly "Mercy Renewal Retreat" which enables those involved in the ministry to come aside each year to grow more deeply in their healing and faith.
Lumina Hope & Healing After Abortion A post abortion ministry of Good Counsel, Inc., Lumina provides groups, retreat days, trainings, public speaking, & referrals to post abortion ministries, professional therapists and clergy.
Abortion Recovery International ARIN is an affiliate association, dedicated to connecting and assisting like-minded abortion recovery centers, programs and services; as well as individuals working within the field.
Ramah International Assistance for those hurting from post abortion syndrome through communication, resources, and local referrals.
Project Rachel The Catholic Church's healing ministry for those who have been involved in abortion.
National Office of Reconciliation and Healing A network of researchers and psychotherapeutic professionals working in the field within the U.S. and abroad, consulting on the formation of post-abortion support services within secular and religious settings.
Rachel's Vineyard Rachel's Vineyard retreats combines a unique and creative process for psychological and spiritual healing.
Safe Haven Ministries Safe Haven is a peer site for those who have had abortions to find comfort, hope, understanding, and healing.
Ramah International – Sydna Masse’s Blog
Ramah International, Inc. was founded by Sydna A. Masse, a post-abortive woman who experienced God’s healing touch eleven years after her abortion through a crisis pregnancy center’s ministry program.
After Abortion Life after abortion: News, opinion, personal experience, resources