It is not easy to heal from abortion. The very act of participating in the death of our children goes against everything nature has called us to be as mothers and fathers. Nurturers and protectors of the life created.
We can live in denial for a time, fight within ourselves to justify and rationalize the reasons we had abortions, but the truth is, nothing can ever expiate the deep rooted truth of taking the life of our unborn children except accepting and believing in the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.
I always tell those who come to us in our “Entering Canaan” ministry, that healing is not a one-step process. Many times, a post abortive woman will come looking for the quick fix, the instant healing, but healing is in God’s time, not ours. It is most often like an onion that heals by layers and of which the abortion itself is most often a culminating act of many other issues. There will be times you will even feel like you are going backwards, but if you persevere and keep your eyes on Christ - healing will happen.
I remember in particular a women who had multiple abortions. When she came to us she was in total despair. How could God ever forgive her? She believed she was the worst of the worst. No one forced her to abort, she freely chose to end her pregnancies, or so she thought. Each bit of progress in her healing would be followed by bouts of despair, as the voice of condemnation began accusing her again telling her forgiveness could never be hers. It often felt like two steps forward and ten steps backwards. She had to learn that healing was not about feelings, that she had to look at Him instead of herself and that in fact she was making great progress in spite of what she felt. Now, four years later, she is an amazing speaker giving talks at our retreats and helping many other women on their healing journey.
I often feel concern when I read articles or hear people speak about those post abortive as if they will never be able to feel peace and joy in their lives again, as if there is a limit to God’s mercy. Granted, some people may not ever again feel that peace and joy, but not because it is not possible, it is because they cling to themselves instead of clinging to Mercy Himself.
We can all tell our stories about our abortions, and there is definitely a time and place for that. With the help of God it can contribute to changing minds and hearts about abortion, and with His help, sway someone contemplating the act. Our stories can touch the hearts of politicians showing that it is not a good for women and they can also move the steadfast pro aborts to recognize the pain it has caused to countless people. Our stories can also make those suffering not feel so alone, but our stories alone do not bring healing.
Post abortion healing is about bringing souls to Christ, souls lost to Him through abortion. Knowing firsthand the horrors of living with abortion, the despair, guilt, shame, anxiety, (I could go on and on), I also know the total and complete forgiveness of God, and want those suffering to know it is there for them as well. You truly can have joy in your life again. Not only can you have it, but God desires you to have it! That is exactly why He died on the cross, and, your aborted children desire it as well.
Some people fear that promoting that message will somehow make abortion seem ok to people. Hey, you have an abortion, go for healing and all will be well. But that is not truth. Healing is in fact, a crucifixion. There is a price to pay for sin. A deep suffering that calls you to the cross of Christ and death to yourself. A journey to humility, seeing yourself in the truth of Christ and trusting in His love enough that you know in your heart He died for you, not because of who you are or because you deserve it, but because of who He is. It is a death to your selfishness and self-will, a death to bad behaviors and a birth to a new life in Jesus Christ.
Healing from abortion is not about us and what we have done. It is about Jesus Christ and what He has done. It is about taking the focus off of us and placing it on Him. It is learning about post abortion through the light of His love for us so that we are sustained and able to carry our cross to Calvary. It is about trusting in His love enough to willingly allow ourselves to be crucified out of love, His love for us. It is about being willing to climb on the cross with Him, because we totally believe in His mercy, love, and forgiveness. It is about allowing that deep love to consume us and heal us, knowing when we reach healing, no one and nothing can take that from us ever again.
As more and more post abortive people reach this healing, a healing truly free from despair, anxiety, guilt, and shame, because it is no longer about us, more and more people who are suffering will say “I want what he/she has." They will then have the courage to travel to their own crucifixion. These souls, once joined with Christ, will help to end abortion, not because of their war story, but because they have met Jesus Christ and He has transformed the evil of abortion, a sin so horrific, with His love and mercy. In the end, He the only one that can end abortion.