Reclaiming Our Children

Feast of the Holy Innocents

Feast of the Holy Innocents Dec 28
I am posting this today since I will not be around tomorrow...

I always pray to the millions of unborn who have died from abortion for their intercession both for me and for this work. I feel they are an army of soldiers protecting and helping to bring souls to the mercy of God. Pope John Paul II's words, in the Gospel of Life,  to those post abortive regarding their children were always such a comfort to me...

"I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will become promoters of a new way of looking at human life."

May all the Holy Innocents intercede for us this day and always until we are united in heaven.

when a shelter is a home

As you know, Lumina, although separately housed,  is a program of Good counsel Homes which aide women and their children.

One of the homes was recently covered by NBC news...check it out
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Homeless_Moms_Get_Christmas_Gift_New_York.html

Witness-Dedicated to Anthony June 7, 1997

            I came from a large very religious catholic family.  I was taught all the right and wrongs, the dos and the don’ts, the truths and the falsehoods.  I attended a very good catholic high school and became involved with the school activities like retreat moderator, volunteered to help The Little Sisters of the Poor, and involved myself in the pro-life activities such as the March for Life every year.  My faith and prayer life were good until I graduated and started college.

 
            I attended a community college and a different world was introduced to me.  Curiosity became by best friend.  Before I knew it, I was sneaking out of my house, smoking, drinking and clubbing.  I wasn’t like any other teenager/young adult that goes through a phase and goes out every Friday night; no, I always looked for more and wanted more.  The clubs became my church; I was there every Wed, Friday and Saturday night.  But that wasn’t enough; I got bored and wanted to try some other “so called fun things” so I messed around with what the young people call “weed”, “chronic” etc.  I suddenly became more lost, more confused, and more alone.  I didn’t care for or love myself anymore; I still attended Sunday mass but never knew the true meaning of it.  I lived a double life by joining my local parish’s youth group and music ministry but behind all that, my heart was in the streets searching for more in all the wrong places.  I spent 6 years wasting my life away.

 

            June 7, 1997 was the worst day of my entire life.  Six months prior to that day I met a guy.  The relationship was poor right from the start.  Many bad things happened - physical abuse, verbal abuse, partying etc.  I became pregnant and he became my worst nightmare.  I wanted to keep the baby; he wanted to abort.  I fought him to the end --- until he said words that tortured my every being, “Your parents are going to kill you.”  I then stopped and said without delay, I have to do this … I have to get an abortion.  So I made the arrangements, and he promised to meet me at Planned Parenthood.  Well, guess what?  He never showed up.  I went through the procedure awake and alone.  I saw and heard everything from the sonogram of my 2-month baby, the sound of the suction tube killing my baby, to the bucket of blood stored in the corner of the room.  I remember looking up at the ceiling that had pictures of cute puppies to help forget what was happening.  I remember crying on that table to God to forgive me.  I was wheeled into a recovery room where they were showing all the women a movie named “When Fools Rush In” as actress Salma Hyack gave birth to a baby.  Thirty minutes were up and it was time for me to sign out as the nurse tried to hand me a handful of condoms and arrange an appointment to return so they could provide birth control.  I was walking and hearing everyone around me with smiles as if nothing happened.  My best friend picked me up that day.  I wanted to kill myself.  I never heard from my boyfriend again.

 

            Two months later --- continuing the clubbing, drinking etc.  My sister asked if I wanted to go to World Youth Day in

France

.  I said ok.  It was a birthday gift from her and what a gift it was.  Many things happened on that trip.  After all the festivities of seeing the Pope, the group decided to visit

Lourdes

.  There is where it all began.  I remember, it was raining and I stood for two seconds at the foot of where Our Lady appeared to St. Bernadette.  I fell on my knees and cried for an hour and Our Lady took my wounded heart and replaced it with a new one.  It was the start of a long journey that wasn’t to be tread alone.

 

            It has been a journey of many sorrows but at the end God won me back.  I forgave myself because God had already forgiven me.

 

            Through the Grace of God I have come to have a beautiful relationship with my son Anthony.  Anthony is 6 years old and I love him more and more everyday that passes.  I believe he is in the presence of the Almighty praying for me, loving me and guiding me.

 

            The journey still continues and it’s definitely a struggle everyday but God is by my side always.  He has never abandoned me.

 

- D -

Feast of the Holy Innocents

Tomorrow  we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Innocents (although the 28th is the day). Of course, as someone post abortive it has always been a feast day of great meaning for me. My most memorable was in the late 80's or early 90's (I cannot remember exactly)  when John Cardinal O'Connor led a procession through the streets of New York and we then prayed in front of a clinic. I will never forget the impact it had on my then young sons, to have the Cardinal go out on the streets to protest abortion. They had met the Cardinal a number of times through the work I was doing and as much as he had an influence on them, they had just as much of an influence on him in bringing to light the  impact of abortion on siblings. I am and will always remain eternally grateful for his courageous stance on the life and example to those he served. But, I digress...

Hence tomorrow's event here in NY:

For nearly 2 decades on the Feast of the Holy Innocents pro-lifers have gathered at Holy Innocents Church in Manhattan for Mass, followed by a peaceful, prayerful procession to a nearby abortion site for a Rosary, then returning for Benediction lunch.

 

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, along with many other friars and the Sisters of Life, join with dozens of other laypeople.

 

Come together in prayer:

 

8 a.m., this year on Saturday, December 27; at Holy Innocents Church, 128 West 37th St. Manhattan.

 

As part of this year's effort, please help Good Counsel, homes helping mothers and babies, before, during and after birth.  Whether you can attend this Holy Innocents memorial or not, please help Good Counsel www.goodcounselhomes.org

Blessed Christmas

My son and his new wife, Jen, are coming home for Christmas. They hopefully, fly in tonight. we are suppose to get a snow storm, so I doing some mighty praying.

I am really looking forward to their visit and we have some fun things planned, among them the play "It's a Wonderful Life" at a dinner theatre near here. I am sure most of you have seen the movie...

I will be off now until after Christmas so the posting will be light.

I did want to share with you a Holy Card I received in a Christmas card from Fr Benedict Greoshel, CFR .
I believe it sums up our hope, healing and forgiveness and the spirit of this holy season.

The source of our Joy
so simple, yet so profound-
is that God loves us

Cardinal Cooke- Christmas 1979

nothing more..nothing less

May each of you be filled with the Joy of Christ!
Blessed Christmas!
Theresa

Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance

On Tuesday Sr Lucy, SV and Sr Concepta,SV and I, did a day trip to DC and back to the Basilica where we will be doing an "Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance", January 21st, the day before the March for Life. It was quite a road trip especially coming home in the snow, but it was also fun to be captive with each other for the trip giving us time to talk.

Here is the Crypt Church where the service will be held
and here is a pretty bad picture I took of the sisters with my new camera..guess I need practice!

Please email us if you are going to be in DC and want details.

Witness- A Story of Hope

A Story of Hope

 
            Thirteen years ago I had an abortion.  By writing this I hope to reach anyone who may be suffering as I was, and to share with them my experience and healing.

 

            I grew up in a Catholic home.  Despite my refusal to accept many teachings of the church, I did believe in the sanctity of all human life.  When I got pregnant during my first year in college, I felt my only choice was adoption.  Although this was a most painful experience, it didn’t compare to the horror I went through a year later when I aborted my second child.  Deep inside, I knew I was living immorally, the one who “accidentally” got pregnant.  I wasn’t pressured by anyone.  I just could not bear the thought of giving up another child and I was convinced I wouldn’t be a fit parent.  What kind of parent was so irresponsible anyway?

 

            By this time I had completely lost my faith.  Living a way that contradicted what I knew in my heart to be true, made faith impossible.  I proceeded to have the abortion, and so violated one of my most basic instincts.  No one could tell me it wasn’t a child.  I had been pregnant and given birth to my son a year earlier.  I knew this was no “collection of cells”.  I told no one and buried it deep inside.

 

            Years went by.  I rarely thought about the abortion, but I drank heavily and became increasingly depressed and withdrawn.  Looking at children was painful, looking in the mirror almost impossible.  Somehow, by the grace of God and the prayers and guidance of many, I became sober and found my way back to the church.  I confessed for the first time in many years.  I told the priest I was sure I’d broken all the commandments except for killing someone.  Then he asked me if I had ever had an abortion.  I wasn’t lying, it simply had not occurred to me.  I received absolution that day, but the real consequences of my abortion began to surface.

 

            I thought about it every day.  I felt dirty, evil.  I was a liar, a hypocrite and a murderer.  I despaired of ever truly being forgiven.  No matter how many times it came up in confession, I could not forgive myself.  I went to vigils and walks to end abortion but only felt more alienated, terrified that someone would “find out”.  In desperation I finally contacted the Sisters of Life, and through their ministry, the real work of my healing began.

 

            I learned that this quiet, secret pain was not just another result of “Catholic guilt” (as a friend had suggested once) but a real consequence of having made the decision to abort my child.  I also met a woman who was healed of her abortion and began to believe that with God’s grace and mercy, I too might one day be healed.

 

            Jesus continues to work with me (often despite myself).  One of the greatest obstacles to healing is the belief that if I don’t suffer for my sin, it will mean that the abortion wasn’t “that bad.”  I am slowly being changed.  I pray to my son, who I believe, as our Holy Father says, is now “living in the Lord”.  I can stand on prayer chains with compassion instead of anger.

 

            Two years have passed since I first visited the Sisters of Life.  Through the ministry and work with other women like myself, God has brought me from a place of despair to one of joy and hope.

 

            I pray that anyone suffering will take the next step toward healing.

 

Anonymous

Can you hear us?

Ok, so it looks like Caroline Kennedy is going to replace Hillary here in NY as our next senator. To be honest I was not thrilled...she has spoken at PP events and supports abortion, but I am going to start praying that she will meet with those of us who are post abortive and hopefully hear what we are saying...I guess it is an improvement, we may stand a chance where we never would with Hillary who has been deaf to our pleas...

http://www.drudgereport.com/flashck.htm

Witness - A Song of Hope

A Song of Hope
Julia Grella
My family has a generation-spanning commitment to social justice. My grandmother was a leader of the American Civil Rights Congress, an early champion of the rights of Black Americans. Her friend Paul Robeson toured on behalf of the Congress in 1949, the occasion for the infamous Peekskill riots. As a committed Catholic girl opposed to violence, I joined the War Resisters League at the age of twelve. As a teen, I spoke at nuclear disarmament rallies. At the same age, I began exploring the gift of my singing voice, which would lead me to an international performing career, and ultimately to the D.M.A. program in Voice at the Graduate Center. Steeped in the spirit of progressive activism, and convinced that abortion rights were the cornerstone of women’s rights, when faced with a crisis pregnancy in my twenties I chose to abort. I believed it was my body, my choice; that abortion was my only viable option without a committed partner; and that it was a grim but necessary reality in our times, when compromise with evil seemed an unavoidable mark of maturity. I believed that once it was over, I would go on with my life, perhaps somewhat diminished but essentially the same. I didn’t realize how devastating the choice to abort would be, nor the effect it would have on my life. The women’s movement did not speak to the issues attending abortion; issues of profound loss and grief regardless of where a woman stands on abortion politics. Young women were expected to be grateful to our foremothers, who strove for our right to legal abortion. But now that the right had been won, abortion’s human consequences were forgotten. I began to question the idea that abortion rights and women’s rights were synonymous. I was a member of New Yorkers Against the Death Penalty, and some of my acquaintances in the abolition movement accepted abortion as a necessary evil. I wondered how we, who decried violence, could condone the violence of abortion. True feminism, I believed, would not sanction violence as a means of problem solving. The early feminists agreed: Sarah Norton, the first woman to attend Cornell University, wrote in 1870 of her hope for a day when an unmarried mother will not be despised and the right of the unborn to be born will not be denied or interfered with. Elizabeth Cady Stanton concurred: “When we consider that women have been treated as property, it is degrading . . . that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit.” Informed by my deepening Catholic faith, I now base my social commitment on the commitment to life, the true foundation of human rights. I was fortunate to find the group Feminists for Life, a strong advocate for women and children. I have received healing from my own loss through the Sisters of Life, an order of nuns founded by Cardinal O’Connor, and Theresa Bonopartis who works with them in their “Entering Canaan” ministry for post abortive women and men. I am also working with Therese Schroeder-Sheker, the renowned pioneer of Music-Thanatology, on the use of music in post-abortion healing. While my work as a singer cannot engage the political debate surrounding abortion, my cherished desire is use my singing to bring hope and healing to other women. For my pain, I have received great healing, and from my sorrow, great hope; I now want to share these gifts with others.

Witness Anniversary

As we come up on January,and the anniversary of his death, I thought I would share my story of forgiveness for my dad:

“Love One Another as I have Loved you”

I just buried my dad this past January. Those of you who know of my story will remember that he was very instrumental in my abortion.  My dad had disowned me when he learned that I was pregnant. I was 18 years old( or 17..hard to remember) and found myself in a situation with no money, no job and no place to live. Once out of the house, he pressured me to abort my baby and little by little my resolve was chipped away until I finally gave in.  I felt there was no “choice”.

 It was 2 years before my dad and I spoke again. The abortion was never mentioned. On the outside, it was as if it had never happened, although inside I am sure it was never far from either of our minds. One of the hardest parts of my own healing was letting go of the anger and rage I had for my father, and learning to deal with the deep issues of abandonment. My abortion affected so many areas of my life. It was as if a poison were running through my veins. I will always remember one day when my brother in law who was visiting at the time turned to me and said, “Theresa, you need to let go of your anger, you need to forgive him or it is going to kill you.” I knew he was right, but somehow holding onto to the anger meant holding on to my son.

 

Many years later, through my conversion and post abortion counseling; I finally found peace with God, my unborn child and myself, however, things with my dad were still a struggle. It was as if this huge monster was present in our relationship and we were both ignoring it even though it was blocking our view.  I truly wanted reconciliation, so I began to pray a novena to Our Lady of Czestochowa for my dad’s conversion. A part of me was still waiting for an “I’m sorry”…I can remember my sister telling me “Don’t wait, you are never going to get it…he still thinks he did not do anything wrong.”  How was that possible? At times I had to resist the urge to scream at him and let him know how I saw his dead grandson on the bed next to me…how could he not be sorry?

 

Through the years different situations would make me angry with him again and I found I had to decide to forgive him all over again…with each new experience I would feel like giving up on him. He was so stubborn and unrepentant, but through the grace of God and good spiritual direction I was able to continue. I will never forget the day when my spiritual director hit me with these lines “Allow your father to make you a saint…don’t confront him with the abortion. Let him teach you forgiveness, let him teach you patience, let him teach you understanding and humility.” I can remember walking out of the friary and thinking...”Oh my gosh, how will I ever be able to do that? You are asking too much of me…how can you expect that after what he did.” But I left and prayed and prayed for the grace to do just that because I knew that was what God wanted of me.

 

It was not easy…many times over the years I wanted to scream at him and he tried my patience on many occasions, but as much as I was tempted to stop I continued the daily novena for almost 20 years.

 

In the end, Our Lady of Czestochowa came through. My dad received the sacraments for the first time in over 60 years and was anointed the day before his death. I am so grateful to God, not only for my father’s salvation, but for mine. In the end, God not only used me as an instrument to bring my dad back to the church, but He used my dad to bring me closer to His heart. The lessons of patience, and forgiveness my dad taught me are things I will reflect on for a long time to come.  Instead of focusing on his failings, I was forced to look at my own weaknesses. I learned not to blame but to understand more deeply that we are all sinners in need of His mercy and as we have been forgiven, we are all called to show that mercy to others. One of the last conversations I had with my dad, was to ask him to give my son Joshua a hug for me when they met.  The miracles and mysteries of faith…

 

Colossians 1:13-15 

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption and  the forgiveness of sins. “

Rest in peace dad.