Reclaiming Our Children

Come Aside and rest a while

After today I will be off on vacation until the 9th..hope to get some guest bloggers, but if not, I will not have anything up here until my return...

what is truth?

Nothing found in this article...I must admit, articles like this one http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/04/23/10-worst-abortion-myths-and-how-to-refute-them/comment-page-1/#comment-3327

in MS. magazine make my blood boil.

It is filled with half truths, misconceptions and just plain lies, and puts the health of women at risk, never mind the death of their children.

Are the women at this magazine that misinformed or do they just not care about women?

This one in particular makes me cringe

Myth 10: Many women who have had abortions are traumatized and suffer from “post-abortion stress syndrome.”

Fact: There is no scientific evidence, or the observable reality of 33 years of legal abortion in the United States, to support the idea that having an abortion is any more dangerous to a woman’s long-term mental health than delivering and parenting a child she did not intend to have or placing a baby for adoption.

Oh really? the people at MS. need to speak to the thousands of women we know

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patient, kindness...

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passion and desires. If we live by the spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.

Galatians 5:22-25

 In a little over three weeks we will celebrate the Feast of Pentecost.

 All of us have experienced the lack of peace, joy, love, patience, self-control, etc that came as a result of our abortions. Some, have reached a healing that reflects those gifts, at least at times. Others are still struggling with the temptations of the world and with the temptation to despair regarding our abortions. Our TV’s, radios and print sources are filled with sex and violence and a disregard for life including our own. It is difficult to change behaviors we may have had for years, especially if friends and family do not understand.

 What struggles are you still experiencing?

 What do you do when you experience them?

 If you have progressed in your healing, what did you change or what do you do differently now than you did before?

 Do you understand that lifestyles may have to change to experience peace?

 Some people express a desire to become pregnant again after an abortion…if you feel this way, what is different about your life that makes you think you would not chose abortion again?

 Are you willing to change, or do you want healing but continue to live the same lifestyle you did before?

 If so, what are the fruits of this lifestyle?

 Have your relationships with others changed or remained the same?

 PRAYER FOR THE SEVEN GIFTS OF THE HOLY SPIRIT

O Lord Jesus Christ Who, before ascending into heaven did promise to send the Holy Spirit to finish Your work in the souls of Your Apostles and Disciples, deign to grant the same Holy Spirit to me that He may perfect in my soul, the work of Your grace and Your love. Grant me the Spirit of Wisdom that I may despise the perishable things of this world and aspire only after the things that are eternal, the Spirit of Understanding to enlighten my mind with the light of Your divine truth, the Spirit of Counsel that I may ever choose the surest way of pleasing God and gaining heaven, the Spirit of Fortitude that I may bear my cross with You and that I may overcome with courage all the obstacles that oppose my salvation, the Spirit of Knowledge that I may know God and know myself and grow perfect in the science of the Saints, the Spirit of Piety that I may find the service of God sweet and amiable, and the Spirit of Fear that I may be filled with a loving reverence towards God and may dread in any way to displease Him. Mark me, dear Lord with the sign of Your true disciples, and animate me in all things with Your Spirit. Amen.

 

Admit-forgive and Heal

As the mom of both an Iraqi veteran and an aborted baby, I found Aspen Bakers article for the Huffington Post Overcoming Stigma: Dead NFL Players, Suicidal Veterans, and Emotional Women  a confusing piece with lots of conflicting statements. Ms. Baker is the founder of Exhale,  http://www.4exhale.org/  an after abortion counseling talk line. I have read Aspen’s article several times and still cannot really piece together her logic as it relates to trauma while she is, at the same time, adverse to “Abortion Recovery Month” because it insinuates that abortion has negative emotional impacts. I would love to sit down and speak to Aspen some day. I think we share a lot of the same feelings, although our ultimate conclusions are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I applaud her confrontation of the pro choice movement when it comes to mental “well being” after abortion. It is true; the pro choice movement still does not have a public platform in support of women’s well being after abortion. That is because they mostly refuse to admit abortion can have adverse affects. The legality of abortion has become more important to them than the women they propose to care about. While their denial is part of the stigma problem which Aspen does recognize, I know the reality.  The stigma of abortion is the result of the act of abortion, not due to some other factor. Unlike PTSD from war or an injury by football (both accidental consequences) abortion is a definitive choice, and that choice is taking the life of your unborn child. With all the scientific evidence, everyone knows this, and everyone knows someone who is suffering because of an abortion. It is not natural for a mom to participate in the death of her child.  Ms. Baker claims her post abortive counseling, Exhale, is non judgmental, neither pro choice nor pro life but “pro voice”, but if you really read through its philosophy, the pain of abortion is blamed on something else. It is religion, the media, social factors,or your relationships, etc., that are causing you pain, not the abortion itself. It is almost as if they are trying to take the cause out of the equation, then you do not have to choose a side in the abortion issue, nor do you have to look honestly at what you have done. But the confusion grows. Aspen does not like “Abortion Recovery Month” or the New York subway ads “Abortion Changes You”, because she feels they depict a negative emotional impact after an abortion. I then have to ask, why you would need a “well-being" month if everything is so, well, “well”? Don’t get me wrong, I certainly agree abortion can cause PTSD. In fact, I know firsthand after a saline abortion I had as a teenager. Seeing your dead, burnt son in a bed next to you and knowing you consented to this horrible act is enough to cause PTSD, but perhaps the biggest cause was the denial of my experience by people trying to blame my pain on everything but the fact that I had participated in the death of my son. It is hard for me to understand how Aspen can see so clearly the trauma of war yet is blind to the trauma that is abortion itself. Women deserve more than an opportunity to be “pro voice”. They deserve the facts before, not after abortion, and they deserve to be healed. Ms. Baker is looking to remove the stigma and make abortion completely acceptable. God forbid we ever make the death of my son or the millions of other children acceptable. My “voice” deserves to be heard too. The movement-building initiative Aspen speaks of is only pro “their” voice, as evidenced by the vandalism of the New York subway ads. Those suffering from abortion that saw those ads and could relate to those feelings deserve to get the help they choose, while having their voices and experiences heard, too.  Having done post abortion work for many years, I am not ashamed to say I am anti abortion. I, like countless other women have found the abortion propaganda filled with lies. Having seen my dead, aborted son laying next to me after a saline abortion, no one, no religion, no morals, no person needs to tell me what abortion is and what it does, or why I felt the way I did. Ms Baker and others may not want a “recovery” that addresses God, but countless women do and they deserve to be able to find that instead of having someone simply discount the subway ads because the church is one of those who offers healing.  My Catholic faith did not make me feel guilty about my abortion; seeing my dead son made me feel guilty. In fact it was quite the opposite. I would even venture to say, that  the stigma of abortion has been taken away for me. I do not care what anyone thinks because I know what God has done for me. I did not seek to make the stigma disappear by forcing others to accept what I did or looking outside of myself, but instead inside of myself.  The stigma left me through my relationship with God and the forgiveness and healing he gave.  It was my faith that brought me peace and healing.

 “Deny -Defend and Attack” is the agenda of “choice”, and on this Aspen and I agree, but appears in some ways to be Aspen’s agenda, too. Still, I actually think we share many of the same feelings. Hey Aspen, I would be open to talk when ever you want. Why not give me a call ?

50th Anniversary of the pill

Time magazine has a piece on the pill in its May 3rd edition marking its 50th anniversary.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

The Pill made sex outside of marriage far easier to conceal, lowering the social cost of extramarital and premarital sex. In 1966 U S. News & World Report would worry openly that the Pill might lead to sexual anarchy.

Nancy Gibbs puts a particular emphasis on the role of the Pill in enabling modern feminism. She cites National Organization for Women president Terry O’Neill: “There is a straight line between the Pill and the changes in family structure we now see.Women could now enter the workplace without fear of a career interrupted by pregnancy. Employers “lost a primary excuse for closing their ranks to women.”” 

Wow! amazingly we agree with NOW, only not in the sense they say...it has not lowered the social cost of extra marital pre marital affairs, it has increased the cost with the death of millions of babies the increased use of women as objects and the destruction of millions of women because of abortion.

The family structure has changed, but far from making it better it has destroyed families...leaving the family unit forever changed and not for the better.

I have not read the entire article yet...it is too early in the morning. I do know many women do not realize the pill is a  an abortifacent, or the damage it can cause to them physically.

More later....

Here is the blog I caught this on:

http://www.albertmohler.com/2010/04/26/the-pill-turns-50-time-considers-the-contraceptive-revolution/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AlbertMohlersBlog+%28Albert+Mohler%27s+Blog%29

Here is the article from Time: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1983712,00.html

And here is something everyone should take the time to read if they have not already....

http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html

Prayers

"This week, we’ve heard from a number of women who were due to have travel to the UK this week for terminations, including a very young teen who is extremely close to the 24 week time limit for abortions in the UK. She had to miss her appointment earlier this week and is now coming next week by ferry and train – a roundtrip journey of more than 24 hours. Her mother solely supports her and her siblings with a part time job and now has to cover costs of £2,300 (procedure + money lost on cancelled flights + last minute ferry and train tickets)."

So goes a blog post I read from an "abortion support Group" in the UK looking for money to get a young teenager there for an abortion at 24 weeks!

It makes me so mad that they actually think they are doing this girl a favor! Please pray that something happens and she cannot get the abortion. What she does today will surely impact her for the rest of her life....

women can have it all

Off today and we have a retreat tomorrow (14 women please keep them in prayer)

but here is a great post I caught and thought I woul d pass it on...

http://www.redstate.com/snarkandboobs/2010/04/22/women-can-have-it-all-only-if-you-abort-claim-pro-abortion-feminists/

Thoughts from one of our moms

I got this note from one of our moms who aborted because of an adverse diagnosis and am printing it with her consent, because like everything else she trusts me enough to share, she is right on...

Hi Theresa.  I read your post this morning about Exhale.  I cringe whenever I hear that name.  I never had any personal contact with anyone from this organization, but I easily could have if I continued to follow the path encouraged by the medical establishment.  I call them the trio, as comprised of my obstetrician, the abortionist disguised as high risk obstetrics, and the geneticist.  I've subsequently discovered that they are all members of the National Abortion Federation and that two of them testified on the Partial Birth Appeal in NY.  The weeds of evil are deeply rooted.

It was on a Wednesday afternoon that I received the news of a positive diagnosis for Trisomy 18.  I had hardly digested the news when the genetic counselor was already leading me down the next step.  I didn't want to hear a sales pitch about the grief counseling that Exhale can provide me.  At that point I was still having a baby, albeit with some added concerns.  I was in the "how do we fix this?" mode rather than the "my child is dead" mode.  I was STILL pregnant, my child was STILL here, and at that point it had not entered the realm of possibility that I would abort him.  So I rushed her off the phone to do my own Google search on what a Trisomy 18 diagnosis really meant.  It angered me that the medical establishment handled my emotions like a human factory production line.  I was not about to agree to undergo some psychobabble with a pre-determined end conclusion.

If you truly want to know where an organization's loyalties lie, follow the money trial.  If Exhale is a referral service for the medical establishment, then all you're really doing is adding another layer of complexity to the deception that will keep the medical establishment out of malpractice court.  Medical propaganda disguised in psychological terms whose purpose is to control the individual's behavioral response.  What a sad world we live in where even the Hippocratic Oath, designed to protect humanity, has evolved into the medical establishment's loss of humanity for the child, the parents and themselves.

As far as e-cards are concerned, you have no idea how angry I get when I read or hear someone tell me "how strong I am."  How does aborting one's child represent the epitome of strength?  In my mind the opposite is true.  I chose abortion precisely because I was weak, lost hope, and lacked faith.  The true heroes are those who, knowing the diagnosis and ultimate outcome, could still choose life and forge their way into the unknown.  The best e-card I received was on Tommy's first death anniversary from a woman I met at Rachel's Vineyard … "Tears are Prayers too."  Amen to that.  Tears are all that's left when words and rationalizations fail.    

Current TV's

coverage of our post abortion conference this past Monday.

http://netny.net/currents/video/stories/healing-after-abortion-42010/

Post Abortion & the NY Times

Well, I wrote an OP/ed letter to the New York Times last week. They say you will hear within three days of they are going to print it. No word. No surprise. Guess I will post it here...

I am a woman who has experienced abortion. Most times, when I speak out or write, I am not referred to as such. I am called, pro-life, anti abortion, or a host of other descriptions, all avoiding what I truly am. A post abortive women who suffered greatly because of the experience.   I have been denied my feelings and even told they do not exist. I have been judged by every side and often feel "stuck in the middle" of the debate. The truth however, is no one can tell me what I experienced, it belongs to me.   

I have been called a murderer by some in the pro life movement. Many on the pro abortion side have tried to make me feel like a traitor to women because I have dared to let others who are suffering in isolation know they are not alone in their regret. There are countless numbers of us out there,many still living in shame and silence, but they are out there, and slowly coming forward. I am sure you all know someone suffering from a past abortion. 

New York has recently had a series of subway ads speaking to those of us who have experienced abortion. They have caused such a controversy on the pro abortion side, that a demonstration was actually planned for Saturday, April 17th in protest. http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/reader-diaries/2010/04/13/protest-abortionchangesyoucom-coming-saturday How dare anyone question abortion, or say it had an adverse affect!   Funny thing about "pro choicers", they refuse to allow any voice to be heard but theirs. They also refuse to accept the fact that they will never remove the stigma of abortion because women have guilt and shame, not because of their religion or pro lifers or anything anyone says, but because of the truth that they have participated in the ending of the life of their unborn child. Why is that so shocking? When did we become a society where having an abortion and having it bother is is unacceptable? But unacceptable it is.  

Last week, a few of us went to Columbia University as part of  "Silent no More" , a campaign of post abortive women who speak openly about the harm abortion did to them http://silentnomoreawareness.org/ in the hopes of reaching out to those suffering in silence. We were shouted at and told to get off of  campus, no one wanted to hear what we had to say. Free choice? What about our choice ? No, as evidenced by the reaction to both the subway ads and our presence we are not allowed a voice. Protecting the legality of abortion has become more important than the women it claims to represent.  

One objection from the pro abortion side to the subway ads came from the fact that the Catholic Church was one of the referrals for help. (note your March 26 article by Susan Dominus) Oh no! The Catholic Church?  As if that were some terrible thing. We are led to believe the church instills guilt and shame, but the truth is, women feel guilt and shame already, and that is why they seek out the church. I have to wonder why there is no outrage regarding the work of the Catholic church with HIV or poverty or a host of other issues. Oh yea, because those are not about abortion.

 

Abortion does change millions of women.  Our mental well being and healing is more important than the politics of abortion. We deserve to have our  feelings legitimized. Anyone can deny our feelings but we know what we experienced. If you have had abortion and you are fine, so be it, but if you are so fine, why does what we say bother you so much? Stop denying our experiences and allow us the right to speak of our experience and to reach out to those who are suffering in silence.

 

Theresa Bonpartis