Well, I wrote an OP/ed letter to the
New York Times last week. They say you will hear within three days of they are
going to print it. No word. No surprise. Guess I will post it here...
I
am a woman who has experienced abortion. Most times, when I speak out or write,
I am not referred to as such. I am called, pro-life, anti abortion, or a host
of other descriptions, all avoiding what I truly am. A post abortive women
who suffered greatly because of the experience.
I
have been denied my feelings and even told they do not exist. I have
been judged by every side and often feel "stuck in the middle"
of the debate. The truth however, is no one can tell me what I
experienced, it belongs to me.
I
have been called a murderer by some in the pro life movement. Many on the
pro abortion side have tried to make me feel like a traitor to women because I
have dared to let others who are suffering in isolation know they are not alone
in their regret. There are countless numbers of us out
there,many still living in shame and silence, but they are out there, and
slowly coming forward. I am sure you all know someone suffering from a past
abortion.
New
York has recently had a series of subway ads speaking to those of us who have
experienced abortion. They have caused such a controversy on the pro abortion
side, that a demonstration was actually planned for Saturday, April 17th in
protest. http://www.rhrealitycheck.org/reader-diaries/2010/04/13/protest-abortionchangesyoucom-coming-saturday How dare anyone question
abortion, or say it had an adverse affect!
Funny
thing about "pro choicers", they refuse to allow any voice to be
heard but theirs. They also refuse to accept the fact that they will never
remove the stigma of abortion because women have guilt and shame, not
because of their religion or pro lifers or anything anyone says, but
because of the truth that they have participated in the ending of the life of
their unborn child. Why is that so shocking? When did we become a society where
having an abortion and having it bother is is unacceptable? But unacceptable it
is.
Last
week, a few of us went to Columbia University as part of
"Silent no More" , a campaign of post abortive women who speak openly
about the harm abortion did to them http://silentnomoreawareness.org/ in the hopes of reaching out to
those suffering in silence. We were shouted at and told to get off of
campus, no one wanted to hear what we had to say. Free choice? What about our
choice ? No, as evidenced by the reaction to both the subway ads and our
presence we are not allowed a voice. Protecting the legality of abortion has
become more important than the women it claims to represent.
One objection from the pro abortion
side to the subway ads came from the fact that the Catholic Church was one of
the referrals for help. (note your March 26 article by Susan Dominus) Oh no!
The Catholic Church? As if that were some terrible thing. We are led to
believe the church instills guilt and shame, but the truth is, women feel guilt
and shame already, and that is why they seek out the church. I have to wonder
why there is no outrage regarding the work of the Catholic church with HIV or
poverty or a host of other issues. Oh yea, because those are not about
abortion.
Abortion does change millions of
women. Our mental well being and healing is more important than
the politics of abortion. We deserve to have our feelings
legitimized. Anyone can deny our feelings but we know what we
experienced. If you have had abortion and you are fine, so be it, but if
you are so fine, why does what we say bother you so much? Stop denying our experiences
and allow us the right to speak of our experience and to reach
out to those who are suffering in silence.
Theresa Bonpartis
