Reclaiming Our Children

Remembering Joshua – The Gift of Our Faith

 

When I was a teenager I was pressured into an abortion by my dad.  Having hidden my pregnancy for over 4 months my baby was fully formed by the time I underwent a 2nd trimester saline abortion, alone in a hospital room.

 

With no information about my baby’s development or what I was going to go through, I spent hours in labor before giving birth to a burnt dead baby boy lying in the bed next to me. To say it was a life altering experience is an understatement. My life was taken away with that of my son. I will always remember looking down at him, seeing his tiny fingers and toes, and wondering how in the world it was possible to do something like this.

 

I don’t know why, but I named my son Joshua. It just seemed fitting, that even though I participated in his death, I should name him. My relationship with Joshua, however, was anything but peaceful. Just the thought of him caused me to become overwhelmed with terror. Every reminder condemned me to hell, and I would have visions of him accusing me before God, pointing his finger at me as he pointed out who was responsible for his death. Having done post abortion work for years now, I know that is the experience of countless women and men. There is a terror that exists at the thought of forming a relationship with their unborn children.

 

I am not sure when this changed for me; although I know it was once I knew the love of God. It made sense that if my child was “living in the Lord” (The Gospel of Life; John Paul II), he would desire my salvation, and instead of condemning me would be praying for my conversion.

 

Little by little I forged a relationship with him through prayer. It took time to develop and overcome the guilt and shame, but I knew inside I needed to repair the relationship. I needed to allow myself to love my son and for him to love me in spite of my human feelings of being unforgivable. Most importantly, I knew that was God's desire.

 

In time, I learned to meet Joshua in the Blessed Sacrament where Jesus united us through His body and blood. Joshua soon became as alive as my sons here on earth.

 

Years later, God showed his their guidance in my work. Having developed a post abortion ministry with The Sisters of Life, we were praying for a name for it. Before the Blessed Sacrament one day, I felt Jesus telling me “Entering Canaan” would be the name. As I went home and read the story of the Israelites journey into Canaan, The Promised Land, I recognized the parallels to healing from abortion, but most striking was that they reached the Promised Land in the book of Joshua.

 

I know Joshua is leading many into Canaan these days. I know he has an army of aborted babies up in heaven interceding for their parents healing. We are united in our work and each day I still share my heart with him and Jesus in my daily communion praying for those who come to us.

 

Now, I never remember Joshua as that dead baby lying in the bed next to me, but as a soul living in the Lord who taught me what true love is.

 

A living soul totally united to Christ, interceding for me. An advocate before the throne. A gift of our faith. Through my worst sin, I have come to know God and He has shown me His unfathomable mercy. No one can take that away.

Later Abortions linked to mental health Issues

Study Finds Later Abortions Linked to Mental Health Risks, Women Pressured

by Steven Ertelt
LifeNews.com Editor
August 30, 2010

Washington, DC (LifeNews.com) -- A new study finds the later a woman has an abortion the more likely it is that she faces mental health risks and is under pressure from a partner or others to have an abortion she may not otherwise want. Women getting later abortions also are more likely to be ambivalent about having an abortion.

The results came from an online survey of 374 women who answered a detailed questionnaire about the circumstances leading to their abortions, their previous mental health history, history of physical or sexual abuse and emotional state following abortion.

Although small, the study, published in the Journal of Pregnancy by Dr. Priscilla Coleman of Bowling Green State University, is the first to compare the experiences of women having early abortions compared to women having later abortions (in the second or third trimester).

The study found women after 13 weeks of pregnancy were more likely to report that their partner desired the pregnancy (22.4 percent of women who had later abortions vs. 10.3 percent of women who had early abortions) and that they were pressured by someone other than their partner to abort (47.8 percent vs. 30.5 percent).

The women having later abortions were more likely to report that their partner didn't know about the abortion (23.9 percent vs. 12.5 percent), that they had left their partner before the abortion (28.3 percent vs. 15.6 percent) and that physical health concerns were a factor in having the abortion (29.8 percent vs. 14.7 percent).

Ambivalence about the abortion, unwanted abortion and poor pre-abortion counseling were also commonly reported in the late-term abortion group, according to the Elliot Institute, an abortion research group that pointed LifeNews.com to the study.

Nearly 40 percent of women in the survey said they desired the pregnancy and only 30 percent said both they and their partner supported the abortion, while less than 14 percent said they received adequate pre-abortion counseling or information on alternatives or physical and emotional risks.

"In general, these results are indicative of more ambivalence and conflict surrounding the decision and the likelihood of less stable partner relationships among women who obtain later abortions," the authors wrote. "Logically, women who are unsure about how to proceed with an unplanned pregnancy are more likely to put off the decision to abort, perhaps hoping their circumstances will improve and enable them to carry to term."

Meanwhile, the Elliot Institute noted a survey of American and Russian women who had abortions, published in the Medical Science Monitor in 2004, found that 64 percent of the American respondents reported feeling pressured to abort, while more than half said they felt rushed or uncertain about the decision and more than 80 percent reported receiving inadequate counseling beforehand.

The new study also found high rates of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms for women having both early and late abortions, with 52 percent of the early abortion group and 67 percent of the late term abortion group meeting the American Psychological Association's criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms (PTSD).

One possible cause may be a high number of women having unwanted abortions due to the reactions of those around them, the authors said.

"Concern regarding reactions of others to having a child" was the mostly frequently cited reason for abortion for both early (69.1 percent) and late (62 percent) abortions; however, they wrote, many women likely had abortions "despite ambivalence or actually desiring to continue the pregnancy."

Feelings of ambivalence or having an unwanted abortion are known risk factors for psychological problems after abortion.

When it came to differences between the late and early abortion groups, women having later abortions were more likely to report having disturbing dreams, reliving the abortion, having trouble sleeping and experiencing intrusion, a PTSD symptom that involves having recurring memories, flashbacks or hyperactivity when confronted with reminders of the trauma.

The 2004 Medical Science Monitor survey found that 65 percent of American women who had abortions reported experiencing symptoms of PTSD, which they attributed to their abortions. Other studies have also linked abortion to increased rates of depression, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, sleep disorders, anxiety disorders and other mental health problems.

The authors said that their new study is best viewed as a "pilot" study on which to base future research on the psychological impact of late-term abortion, and called for more counseling and support for women undergoing later abortions.

Citation for the new study: PK Coleman, CT Coyle & VM Rue, "Late-Term Elective Abortion and Susceptibility to Post-Traumatic Stress Symptoms," Journal of Pregnancy, Aug. 2010. http://www.hindawi.com/journals/jp/2010/130519.html

Related web sites:

Elliot Institute - http://www.theunchoice.com

http://lifenews.com/nat6665.html

Humility

Sorry I have not been posting much...things have been very busy around here as more and more people are reaching out for help. That is a good thing and we are so grateful to God that many are coming forward.

Sadly, yesterday was a very hard day. Most of you know that Lumina is a separate program of Good Counsel Homes.  http://goodcounselhomes.org/  yesterday, we learned that the house manager at our Daystar home, Gigette Anderson, was killed in a flash flood on Sunday in Jamaica. Please keep Gigette, her family and the moms in our home sin your prayers. It is a tragic loss. Gigette was a wonderful self giving women who will be deeply missed by all.

Anyway, thought I would pass this great article on humility on to you all....as you heal from abortion keep looking at Him instead of yourself..He will take care of it all..

http://catholicexchange.com/2010/08/30/133813/print/

Hoovering

Just read this http://bryankemper.com/2010/08/24/about-com-defines-hoovering-as-getting-an-abortion-in-their-teen-slang-dictionary/ Bryan Kemper article about teens defining "hoovering" as getting an abortion.

I never heard the expression. Pretty interesting choice of words, but as Byran says,the words association may give pause... "Maybe the thought of a precious little baby being sucked through a vacuum tube will give pause to a girl considering abortion."  I hope so...

Curious, has anyone out there heard this ?

Happy birthday Mother Teresa

“The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a 
mother can kill her own child, what is left for me to kill
 you and you to kill me? There is 
nothing between.” 

Mother Teresa 

How true these words of Mother Teresa are….but she also knew the love  and mercy of God.

May we all seek her intercession for an end to abortion and  for all those who are suffering for having participated in one, that they may come to God’s mercy and forgiveness.

Teens and abortion

While abstinence programs continue to be challenged and blamed for the rise in teen pregnancy and abortion, it seems obvious that "sex education" had only increased sexual activity and put our children more at risk of pregnancy and disease, not to mention the possible emotional and physical ramifications.

I am happy to announce that parents are not falling for the rhetoric...here is a report funded by the Obama administration, dated 2009 and posted by Health and Human Services that they would like to keep secret

guess we are all not as dumb as they would like us to be...parents in fact, support abstinence education

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/fysb/content/docs/20090226_abstinence.pdf

Face to Face with...Heather King

Heather King, author of 3 books, sober alcoholic, Catholic convert, who has had 3 abortions and is in the process of writing about that experience:

http://www.crossroadsculturalcenter.org/events/2010/9/21/face-to-face-withheather-king.html

Date: Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Time: 7pm
Location: The American Bible Society
1865 Broadway at 61st Street, New York
Directions to the American Bible Society

Speaking out about abortion

my latest article on Catholic Exchange

http://catholicexchange.com/2010/08/23/133590/

again, I want to say that it is good that there are organizations where women and men speak out. I participate myself. The article is a call for all of us to check our motives and to always be aware that each soul is precious to God so we do not exploit people....

Abortion and Adverse Diagnosis

In addition to being excited about the Webinar and panel taking place in DC this fall on adverse diagnosis

 

And our retreat day in NOvember

I am happy to spread the word about a group beginning in NYC for those who have aborted as a result of an adverse diagnosis...

 It would be a 6-8 week group for women who are suffering from having had an abortion related to an adverse diagnosis, so, basically, this will not be a “general” post-abortive support group.

 It would start it in the fall, hopefully before Thanksgiving- but the therapist is willing to work around the schedule of those interested. Basically each week, there would be a theme or topic to be discussed related to the experience and each group member would have an opportunity to comment, share their feelings/thoughts, and respond/give feedback to other group members.

 It would be on Wednesday evenings in the city. The first few sessions would be free then the fee would be $30 (about the same as a co-pay) and the group sessions would last at least an hour-

 Please email me at [email protected] if you or anyone you know would have an interest in this group and I will give you the contact info...spread the word...

Adverse Pre Natal Diagnosis Webinar

The Department of Special Needs Ministries in the Archdiocese of Washington, will be holding a webinar on prenatal diagnosis issues Tuesday, October 5, 1 p.m. at Catholic University's Student Center. It will be a  Live Audience Training/Webinar on Prenatal Diagnosis, by the National Catholic Partnership on Disability (NCPD).  The moderator of the webinar, Catholic bioethicist Dr. Marie Hilliard, just wrote this article: The New Eugenics: Eliminating the "Undesirable" by Prenatal Diagnosis <https://webmail.adw.org/node/1141> : http://www.ncpd.org/node/1141]
 

Following the seminar,they will have a  panel discussion at 2:45 p.m. as part of the Archdiocese's Affirming Life Symposium.  Isaiah's Promise (www.isaiahspromise.net <http://www.isaiahspromise.net/> ), a priest and a physician,will be part of the panel as well as myself. I will discuss post-abortion healing following an unexpected prenatal diagnosis.

I am so happy that it is being brought to the forefront !

Here is the information on how to participate :

• Webinar is free as part of an NCPD affiliate membership or the cost is $30 per computer.

·         NCPD Webinar, 1 p.m., online at www.ncpd.org and live on the campus of The Catholic University of America (possible simulcast on live.cua.edu)