So, Exhale has created a new web site "16 and Loved" to go along with the MTV special "No Easy Decision" set to air tomorrow night (ironically, the Feast of the Holy Innocents, when King Herod ordered the death of all male children 2yo and younger) at 11:30pm.
Exhale's after abortion counseling hotline is styled as the resource for post abortion, and they have begun what they call a "16 & Loved" campaign to coincide with the program. I would like to think the program will be objective and show all sides, and to be truthful I have no idea what it will be like, but I do know, unfortunately, that Exhale's main objective seems to be to de-stigmatize abortion rather than to help women work through their abortion issues. They seem to think if you say it enough and are "pro voice" enough with a bunch of other post abortive women, the negative impact will go away.
In their own words, "abortion, and having feelings afterward, is normal in the reproductive lives of women and girls". So it's "normal" to have an abortion, and they do not attribute the negative impact to taking the life of your child. They also make a point to say they agree with the findings of the American Psycholgoical Association.
"If you have been diagnosed, or have self-diagnosed, as having Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome, Exhale understands that having a name for what you’re feeling and experiencing can feel important. Many women find the experience of identifying with this syndrome as positive and affirming. It is also important to know that having feelings about a significant life event doesn’t mean that you have a major psychological condition that requires medical care. For many women, naming and expressing their emotions, and having the space and support to do so, can be more empowering than being identified as having a disorder. Whether or not you think you have PASS, the most important thing is that you get support for what you’re feeling, not what someone else thinks you should be feeling. Exhale trusts you to know what feels right for yourself.
Exhale follows the findings of the American Psychological Association, which has not found a link between feelings that follow an abortion and a psychological condition in need of medical care."
Along with the obvious goal of de-stigmatizing abortion by Exhale, a site "16 and Loved" has been created "to make sure these brave young women feel our unconditional love and our support. 16 & Loved sends love and support to Markai and the others on the show, and, in the process, lets every young woman who has had an abortion know that she is not alone. She is loved."
Reading the comments, the teens who are post abortive that particpated in the show are told how "strong and brave" they are. How much they are "admired", "unselfish", and how they are "an inspiration."
As a person who had an abortion as a teen, I have thought about how I would have felt if I had seen or heard these things after my abortion. No doubt there would have been a part of me that wanted to believe all I was being told. After all, who wants to live in misery, grief, self hatred, depression and all the other things my abortion brought into my life, but down deep inside I do not think, no matter how much I was told I was admired, or brave, or any of the other adjectives used, I would have believed it, for one reason only. I knew I had taken the life of my child. As a woman, it goes against our very nature.
I am concerned for Markai and the other girls in the show as well as those post abortive who will see it. For all the talk by Exhale of not allowing others to tell you what to feel, they are doing a great job of it. They say they respect all feelings, but by their very words this is untrue. Their attempts to de-stigmatize abortion in itself makes it clear what their objective is. They truly want to make abortion a normal event in the lives of women and brainwash everyone into feeling the same.
What is going to happen to these girls once the admiration wears off, people go back to normal life and they are left with their feelings? It is so easy to exploit women in this position (on both sides) for the sake of the cause of abortion,especially if they are looking for love and acceptance which is often the case, but the individual welfare of each woman , should be first and foremost our concern.
I have often thought I would like Aspen Baker, the founder of Exhale. When I read what she writes there is often much to agree on. I even wrote to her once and asked to meet but I was declined. It was probably better that way, because in the end, we really are on opposite sides of the spectrum. I see abortion as a grave offense against all a women is called to be. I was not a good, loving mom to my aborted son and no matter how many people would have called me courageous, brave or loving, I would have known in my heart it was not true. I particpated in his death and aborted because I was full of fear. I did not trust that I could love enough and work things out so my son could live. How could killing someone ever be good no matter what the reason? Do we do that with any other issue? No, of course not.
Aspen and the others involved are trying any way they can to remove the stigma and shame of abortion, through attempting to get others to believe and feel as they do, that abortion is "normal," but it is not. I and many other ministries are working to remove the shame too, but in another way. Like I shared in a previous post "There is the huge difference between us...I do not feel shame anymore and I am not concerned with the stigma because of the healing of Mercy Himself, Jesus Christ... http://reclaimingourchildren.typepad.com/lumina_a_ray_of_light_aft/2010/11/tweeting-abortion-removing-the-stigma.html
Making abortion "normal" is not going to change the facts or help the woman who has one. Abortion kills an unborn child–her child, not some abstract baby. And in every mother's heart, sooner or later she has to admit that. Hopefully when she does, she will find the help she needs to truly heal and not be used to promote a side of the debate.