Reclaiming Our Children

Every Day is Newtown in America

A wonderful homily given in January by my prior boss..Deacon Ed Pietler, Phd

 

In many protestant churches, the preacher will post the title and subject of his sermon on one of those roadside boards on the church’s property. We don’t do this in the Catholic Church, probably because, while the homily is important to the Mass, it is not essential to how we worship. But if I had to give a title to my homily this morning it would be this: “Every Day is Newtown in America”. You do realize that I am referring to Newtown CT where last month 19 children, innocent in all respects, and who were simply doing what we expect all children of that age to do – get an education -had their precious lives ended one sad morning in the weeks before Christmas.

I have entitled this homily “Every day is Newtown in America.” Ours is a very interesting country. In fact, it’s not only our country that’s very interesting but human nature itself. You see, we are very adaptable beings. We can become accustomed to almost any condition that life throws at us. We learn to live with it and go on about our business. What am I referring to? Every day in the US 3300 pre-born babies have their lives taken from them through abortion. And the act of abortion is no less violent than what happened to those children in Newtown. And yet most people hardly blink an eye when they hear the statistics about abortion.

For weeks, the media was consumed with the tragedy of Newtown – and rightfully so. But are there any differences between those children killed in Newtown and those still living in their mothers’ wombs? One difference is that some of the children in Newtown were able to run, hide or escape the one who sought to harm them. But children whose development is still taking place inside their mother’s womb have no means of escape, no place to hide. One would think that inside a mother’s womb would be a safe enough environment – as we presume a classroom in a school would be. But sadly, mother’s wombs stopped being a safe place a long time ago.

Other differences? The children in Newtown were older in years but only a few short years removed from having been babies in their mothers’ wombs themselves. Six or seven years earlier those children at Newtown were not unlike the 3300 babies still in their mother’s wombs whose lives are taken away from them daily. In fact, those 1st and 2nd graders attending school in Newtown are closer in age to any preborn baby than they are to most of us here.

The pre-born child is a human person who is simply at an earlier stage of their development. Not yet ready for reading, writing and arithmetic but getting ready for the day when they will take their place in the schoolrooms of America. But for so many of these developing human persons, “Every Day Is Newtown in America.”

Every day, the Newtown experience happens 3300 times in this great land of ours. Not caused by madmen wielding a gun but lives ended by doctors wielding equally as lethal weapons. And it happens so often now, that we barely blink an eye. How frightening to think that we can get used to a Newtown experience happening every single day. In fact, there are even some Catholics who believe that there is nothing morally objectionable about abortion.

Some Catholic politicians openly support taking the lives of children when they are at their most vulnerable time of development. These Catholic politicians believe that they can publicly support abortion and remain a faithful Catholic. They cannot. They try to defend a right to do what – take the life of a defenseless innocent human person? The only right we as Catholics enjoy when it comes to abortion is the right to be outraged. Could you imagine anyone getting up anywhere in America today and defending what happened at Newtown?

For weeks, the media detailed for us the horrible carnage of Newtown. We saw pictures of the traumatized children who survived and were given graphic descriptions of what transpired on that fateful morning in rural Connecticut. And yet, my brothers and sisters, we will never hear descriptions of what actually takes place in abortion clinics all across this country 3300 times every single day of the week. And you also will not hear about the hundreds of thousands of people who will take to the streets of our nation’s capital this week to protest the horror of abortion. No, our country ignores the reality of “Every Day Is Newtown in America.”

This year marks the 40th anniversary of the infamous Roe v Wade decision. The justices of the Supreme Court could not find in our Constitution a right to life. Imagine that! Over these ensuing 40 years, 55 million pre-born have had their lives taken from them. Not by a lone gunman but by a team of professionals who call it healthcare. Given the 19 children whose lives were taken at Newtown, that number of 55 million amounts to almost 3 million Newtowns occurring over these past 40 years.

Think about that: could you imagine the US going through that Newtown experience 3 million times over the past 40 years? And yet, we barely blink an eye when it comes to the issue of abortion. How human beings can adapt. It’s simply amazing.

All of which leads me to today’s scripture reading. God knows exactly the depths of the sin to which all of us can descend. And how easy it is to get used to the sin in our lives and pretend it doesn’t matter. How easy it is to adapt to a life of sinfulness. The scriptures refer to it as a ‘hardness of heart.’

My brothers and sisters, there is an alternative to this specter of “Everyday Is Newtown in America.” God has a different plan for our lives and for our world. God offers us a plan to have a change of heart and turn away from sin. His name is Jesus Christ. He is the one sent by the Father who can save us from our sin and restore us to life. God’s life. He is the one whose name we are called to carry to this Newtown world of ours.

In today’s scripture readings, we learn that Jesus comes to us as the promised lover, as one who will espouse God’s people. In short, he’s the one who intends to marry us by giving his body as an everlasting sacrifice – just as a husband presents his body to his wife as a sign of his love. Isaiah, in our first reading, speaks about the people Israel taken into captivity in Babylon and cut off from their home – Israel. He tells of God’s plan to return them to their rightful home where God will make of them his spouse.

And to fulfill the promise, the Father sends His Son so that God can espouse not just Israel but all mankind. God intends that every person on the face of this earth hear the name of Jesus Christ and take leave of the sin in their lives which divorces them from God. God fully intends that all enter into this spousal union with Him. And the first act of Jesus’ public ministry drives home this point.

Jesus is at a wedding feast with His mother. A feast that celebrates the union of a man and a woman – an occasion for much joy. But something has happened which threatens to ruin it all. The very thing that is used to make the occasion a joyous one, to lift people’s spirits and transcend their everyday existence – the wine – has run dry. Without the wine the wedding is a dud.

Something very central to the celebration of the marriage has gone missing. The wedding feast is now ruined. Mary says to Jesus, “They have no more wine.” Doesn’t that say it all? Isn’t that an adequate description of so many people’s lives today? Isn’t it true that in so many ways our society has ‘run out of wine?’ Don’t those living without God in their lives sense that something at the very core of their lives is missing?

Mary knows the one who came to bring life. Mary turns to the One whose mission it is to make it possible for man to once again live in the spousal relationship that God intends. And Jesus, baptized in the Spirit, moves forward in His mission on earth. Jesus gives a sign that He is the instrument of God who will bring about this spousal union once and for all. Jesus is the one whose sacrifice on the cross will bring about this spousal union. He is the one who does what all husbands are called to do – sacrifice themselves for their spouse – even to the point of giving up their lives if necessary. Jesus fulfills His Father’s will and offers His life in sacrifice – in order to complete the marriage act. And in the resurrection, we see that Jesus’ act of spousal sacrifice brings life –eternal life.

You and I – having been baptized into Christ’s divine life – have found our spouse – He is Jesus. He is the bread and wine become Body and Blood. We have found the One who has loved us into life. And whether you realize it or not, this morning you have come to your wedding feast. For in this Mass, you have come once more to meet your spouse who will offer you his body and blood in a communion of love – the marriage covenant God has made with you through His son Jesus Christ. This is your wedding day when you come to once more meet your spouse. He wants to be everyone’s spouse and it is up to you and me to go out of this place and tell everyone about the One who offers to be their spouse too…who offers them life and not death.

This is what the Lord wants for the entire world – not the world of ‘Everyday is Newtown in America.’ It is Mary, in her last recorded words in Scripture, who tells us the way for us to get the marriage feast back on track – to get the wine flowing once more so that joy and the celebration of the intended marriage can happen – Mary’s words are these: Do whatever He tells you. Christ invites everyone to leave the Babylon of their separation from God – the life of sin – and heed the words of the prophet Isaiah: “As a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you.”

The Hands of Time

(reprint)

There is an old song by R&B singer Tyrone Davis named, “Turn Back the Hands of Time”. It is written about a relationship, but I think if you passed the lyrics on to anyone who has had an abortion, they would be able to relate.

 

Can't sleep at night always think about you
But if I had the chance to start all over
I would be wishing today on a four leaf clover
And leaving you with the last thing on my mind
If I could turn back the hands of time

 

The great deception of believing life will return back to the way it was before abortion is still living and breathing among us. Often feeling desperate, there is a great desire to trust that we can go ahead and abort without any repercussions only to find out this is far from the truth.

 

Even the most stanch pro choicer would admit to moments of melancholy. Even if they are adamant in believing they made the “right choice” there still is emptiness, and thoughts of birthdays missed, and their child that is not there.

 

It would take a very cold heart to have an abortion with no impact. Although those who say that feel that way seem to brag as if that is a good thing, I would never want to be able to participate in the taking of the life of my child and have it have no impact on me.

 

 

…can't hold out much longer
Oh the pain's so deep and the hurt is getting stronger
But if I had just one more try…

If I could turn back the hands of time…

 

We, as post abortive parents may not be able to “turn back the hands of time”, but we can move ahead to healing and wholeness. We can reclaim our children on a spiritual level as God has desired to give them to us. We can accept His forgiveness and His love in humility, and we can and should forgive ourselves.

 

If we truly turn ourselves over to Him, working through our healing we will come to know that maybe we cannot turn back the hands of time, but we can look forward to the future when we will share eternity with our children and with God who is Mercy Himself!

Pope Francis

I LOVE this quote;sotrue..

"Dear brothers and sisters, let us be enveloped by the mercy of God; let us trust in his patience, which always gives us more time. Let us find the courage to return to his house, to dwell in his loving wounds, allowing ourselves be loved by him and to encounter his mercy in the sacraments. We will feel his wonderful tenderness, we will feel his embrace, and we too will become more capable of mercy, patience, forgiveness and love." Divine Mercy Homily, Pope Francis

Safe, Legal & Rare

SAFE, LEGAL & RARE

Governor Cuomo, who refuses to give specifics of his bill is seeking to expand abortion for all nine months of pregnancy in a state where abortion is rampant and to allow the use of non physicians to perform abortions. “To put forth specifics when you don’t have an agreement, in my experience, polarizes the parties,” Cuomo said. Far from “safe”.

Since 1973 our country has had 54 million abortions. 54 million! Far from ”rare”.

Instead of the truth , now the pro abortion crowds are blaming people praying outside of clinics for the reason women went to Gosnell, or their perceived limits to abortion, or anything but the sad truth. Abortion kills. It kills minds, it kills hearts and it kills bodies and the fact that someone like Gosnell would perform them, especially late term, is not a shock.

I had a second trimester abortion after being coerced as a teen by my father. To this day I can still see the sadistic look of the abortionist face and the body of my dead son lying in the bed next to me. I remember the nurse walking into the room and dumping my son’s body into a jar marked 3A. After my abortion, performed legally in a hospital in NY, I remember thinking, “how is it possible that this is legal, that this is allowed?” Looking back (although the images are still there clear as day), the only difference between my abortion and those performed by Gosnell is that mine was hidden in the womb while his occurred outside of it.

No matter how you look at it, a filthy Gosnell clinic, or a hospital or a clinic on Park Avenue, abortion is abortion.

The main stream media continues to ignore the Gosnell case. I have my own theory as to why. If we look, if we truly look at abortion, w e as a society will have to come face to face with what we have sanctioned for the past 40 years. We will have to admit we made a grave mistake. It will be painful. We will have to acknowledge that abortion has not made things better, but has injured countless women. Women many o f us know and love. Our moms, grandmothers, our sisters and aunts and cousins and our friends. We will have to face the fact that countless men have been hurt as well, and that abortion is impacting countless marriages including those who live in the fear their +spouse will find out about a prior abortion.

We would have to look at the millions of people of this generation mourning the loss of a sibling and wondering why they are here while their brother or sister is not, and yes, we would have to really face the fact that 54 million unborn children are dead.

It would be painful, but good would come out of it. Healing would occur for millions who feel ashamed and are suffering in silence and alone. The cycle of abuse, injury and death would stop, and forgiveness and mercy would take its place. What can be better than that?

Barbaric anti abortionists

I usually do not respond to these things, but this was so ridiculous I felt like I had to.

Here is an article by Tanya Gold that was in the Guardian "The anti-abortion lobby is barbaric".

I do not expect anything because I have learned it is mostly a waste of time to spend responding to this kind of thing that obviously has no true concern fo r women, but this time I responded anyway. Here it is:

I am a post abortive woman who runs a ministry for women who suffer because of a past abortion. This article would be comical if it were not so outrageous. It is amazing to me that people who claim to care about women are so blind to the damage abortion has done to so many of us.

I am totally sick of being labeled anything but what I am in order to discredit what I say. I am a woman who has had an abortion and suffered. Even according to the Guttmacher Institute 10% of women have adverse impacts...with 54 million abortions, that is millions of women.

In the beginning abortion was toted because it was illegal and women would die if it was not made legal...safe, legal and rare was the mantra...what a joke. Women died(and continue to die) anyway...now in this article instead of speaking the truth Tanya blames the death of pregnant women on the threat to "access" to abortion. Really?

The attitude of protecting the act of abortion no matter how many women die or get hurt is amazing to me. Abortion has become a god, certainly more worshiped and protected than the women they originally claimed to be caring about.

I hate to clue Tanya in, but with my work with thousands of women, I have heard of many "mad" doctors...just do a google search and you can find them. Steven Brigham, Steve Chase,Randall Whitney, you get the picture.

Fear of censure did not bring womene to Gosnell, that is ridiculous. They went to Gosnell because he is one of the few who would do an abortion at such a late term. Doctors know it is dangerous and that is why there are not many who do late term abortions. "women went to Gosnell simply because other abortion clinics had protestors outside"? Really? If that were true many would be out of business, but as we know Planned Parenthood is making millions doing abortions.

Anti abortion activists do not impede safe abortion.. abortion kills, not the activists...babies die and women do sometimes as well.

Stop your rhetoric and lies if you truly care for women and not just your god of abortion so that more of us do not die.

April 2013 Journal of Psychiatry

Does abortion reduce the mental health risks of unwanted or unintended pregnancy? A re-appraisal of the evidence

1. David M Fergusson
2. L John Horwood
3. Joseph M Boden

1. Department of Psychological Medicine, University of Otago, Christchurch, Christchurch, New Zealand

1. David Fergusson, Christchurch Health and Development Study, University of Otago, Christchurch, PO Box, 4345, Christchurch, New Zealand. Email: [email protected]

Abstract

Objective: There have been debates about the linkages between abortion and mental health. Few reviews have considered the extent to which abortion has therapeutic benefits that mitigate the mental health risks of abortion. The aim of this review was to conduct a re-appraisal of the evidence to examine the research hypothesis that abortion reduces rates of mental health problems in women having unwanted or unintended pregnancy.

Methods: Analysis of recent reviews (Coleman, 2011; National Collaborating Centre for Mental Health, 2011) identified eight publications reporting 14 adjusted odds ratios (AORs) spanning five outcome domains: anxiety; depression; alcohol misuse; illicit drug use/misuse; and suicidal behaviour. For each outcome, pooled AORs were estimated using a random-effects model.

Results: There was consistent evidence to show that abortion was not associated with a reduction in rates of mental health problems (p>0.75). Abortion was associated with small to moderate increases in risks of anxiety (AOR 1.28, 95% CI 0.97−1.70; p<0.08), alcohol misuse (AOR 2.34, 95% CI 1.05−5.21; p<0.05), illicit drug use/misuse (AOR 3.91, 95% CI 1.13−13.55; p<0.05), and suicidal behaviour (AOR 1.69, 95% CI 1.12−2.54; p<0.01).

Conclusions: There is no available evidence to suggest that abortion has therapeutic effects in reducing the mental health risks of unwanted or unintended pregnancy. There is suggestive evidence that abortion may be associated with small to moderate increases in risks of some mental health problems.

 

check it out here: http://anp.sagepub.com/content/early/2013/04/02/0004867413484597.short

(Researcher David Ferguson is a pro choice athestist)

How to Talk to Your Children

Came across a book I had gotten a LONG time ago, “How to Talk With Your Children About Your Abortion: A Practical Guide for Parents,” by Philip G. Ney and Marie Peeters-Ney. For more information, contact IIPLCARR/Hope Alive by phone at (250) 391-1840, or email [email protected].

Definitely worth the read!

here is an article from 2004 by Amy Sobie of the Elliot Institute about the same topic. I had forgotten all about it :

Posted on March 12, 2004 by EI

Talking With Your Children About Your Abortion

Amy R. Sobie

Theresa Bonopartis vividly remembers the day, more than 20 years ago, that she phoned her doctor for the results of her pregnancy test. She was 18, unmarried, and scared. The doctor’s words confirmed what, despite months of denial, she already knew–she was almost four months pregnant.

She and her boyfriend decided to marry. But then her parents kicked her out, telling her to forget she was their daughter. She and her boyfriend broke up. Her father urged her to have an abortion, which she initially resisted. But without a job, housing, or any support, she felt she had no choice but to give in.

For years, she tried to forget about the second-trimester abortion– a grueling experience involving 12 hours of labor and seeing the body of her unborn child. After marriage to an abusive husband, the birth of two sons, a divorce, and a semi-reconciliation with her parents, she went back to school to earn a counseling degree. But within a year of starting her first job, she was burnt out, struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts.

Although she had returned to the Catholic faith in which she’d been raised, she didn’t believe God could forgive her for what she had done. Finally, feeling she had nowhere else to turn, she sought counseling from her parish priest. For the first time in ten years, she began to feel a sense of peace and healing. But one question still nagged her–should she tell her two sons about her abortion?

“I felt that God was calling me to speak about abortion, but I knew I couldn’t unless my children knew first,” she said. “I was concerned about how it was going to effect them and I thought they would never forgive me. I was terrified they would hate me.”

the rest is here: http://afterabortion.org/2004/talking-with-your-children-about-your-abortion/

Gosnell

It is hard not to hear about the Gosnell case this week. A huge abortion trgger for those who are post abortive.Here is a post by fellow blogger over at "Post Abortion Walk"

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

What Difference Does it Make?

I've been following the Gosnell coverage on Twitter and around the Catholic Blogosphere tepidly.  I am trying to exercise some caution for my tender soul as any foray too deep into the details has a strong likelihood of disaster.  I skim over the day's coverage, say a quick prayer, and then try to move on.  I follow the story with the hope that I'll start to see some kind of turn around in the abortion "debate."  How could somebody read the Grand Jury report and not completely change their thinking if they claim to be prochoice?  But that may be the reason nobody who is prochoice is reading it - for fear of what may happen.  Kind of makes the safe, legal, and rare argument null and void when you see what looks to be a very viable baby, a human being, with a hole in their neck just big enough for scissors to fit through in order to snip their tiny spinal cord.

I don't usually enter into the debate battleground because I'm not strong enough to defend my position without using the biggest weapon in my arsenal - the fact that I had an abortion.  Until I'm ready to engage with everything I've got, I think it's better for me to battle in ways that preserve my sanity - as fleeting as it may seem at times.

the rest is here:
http://postabortionwalk.blogspot.com/2013/04/what-difference-does-it-make.html

New Orleans PA Healing

An article from the Clarion Herald in New Orleans:

Her post-abortive pain fueled a healing ministry

Published on Tuesday, 09 April 2013 01:54 | Written by Peter Finney Jr. | |

   It was the early 1970s – just before Roe v. Wade – and Theresa Bonopartis, then 18, discovered she was pregnant.
    She and her boyfriend decided to get married, but when she blurted out the news to her parents, their reaction was immediate and visceral.
    “My dad kicked me out of the house and told me to forget I was his daughter,” Bonopartis recalled.
    In New York, where Bonopartis lived, women legally could have an abortion, but she wanted her child. She was sure that her parents, practicing Catholics, would understand that at the very least.
    While Bonopartis roomed with a friend, her father sent her several messages urging her to abort her unborn child, even offering to pay for it. At that point, Bonopartis capitulated.

 

the rest is here:http://clarionherald.info/clarion/index.php/columns/peter-finney-jr/2131-her-post-abortive-pain-fueled-a-healing-ministry

ALBANY RHA Rally

I was not able to get to Albany yesterday because of the death of a close friend, but Mary Beth who works in the office with me was able to go and shared the following with us.

We had a great day in Albany yesterday !  About 500 people walked in front of the State House for  the “Candle Light Vigil.”  There were  quite a few groups walking under the umbrella group NYers for Life.  Kathleen Gallagher and her team from the NYS  Catholic Conference  The folks were terrific,  prayerful and peaceful. The only “noise” came from many, many supporters honking their horns as they drove by.  There were quite a few young people there which was great to see.  We were also fortunate to have a  Channel 12 news, Hudson Valley news reporter interview us at the Sloatsburg rest stop on our way up.  We made it onto last night’s  the Channel 12 news;  Ed Mechmann, of the NY Archdiocese Family Life Office  and Nora Bucaj a teacher at St. gave great interviews check out the story  at  http://hudsonvalley.news12.com (scroll down for the story “Pro-life activists rally in Albany”)

 

 

A few disappointments to note:   It seemed that many of the lawmakers had left for the day prior to us getting there although we did see a few as they headed out, and our candles weren’t too visible as it stayed light for so long!   And of course, the terrible news of the bombing at the Boston Marathon saddened us all, we all sent our prayers for the victims and their families.

 

Ed Mechmann and Sister Lucy Marie emphasized how important it is for all of us to follow up in the coming weeks.  We need to be heard in Albany,  so please, everyone,  look for links on the NY Archdiocese Family Life Office website (http://flrl.org/Oppose_Abortion_Bills.htm) for petitions and information. We can make a difference – let’s stop the expansion of the abortion laws in NYS.  Ed noted that NYS is a beacon for all other states seeking to expand abortion laws.  What happens here – our example – will be closely watched by both sides of the issue. So please get involved, help change the hearts of our governor and the NYS legislators.

 

Mary Beth

I think that our best strategy is educating the public so that they understand what exactly it is the Governor is trying to do. Of ocurse, contacting our legislators is also important. While certainly anyone can be converted, Cuomo is and always has been a staunch supporter of abortion and I would not be surprised to find out that he himself is post abortive.

As many of you know I sent him a request for Abortion Recovery Awareness Month, and never received a response, so certainly women who mourn are not among those he is concerned with. It is true that NY would be a test state because the chances of getting this through are so much better due to how liberal it is, but I do believe if people knew the truth they would be as outraged as all of us, so write letters to the editors and  educate whenever you can!