Reclaiming Our Children

Allan Parker, the speaker at last years Lumina dinner will be on the radio tomorrow to discuss the Gosnell verdit.
see below:

I invite you to listen to me tomorrow as Tim Wildmon and I speak about the Kermit Gosnell verdict.

The interview will begin at 10:05 a.m. central time and end at 10:15 a.m. on Tuesday, May 14. Click here to listen online. If you are unable to listen at that time, AFA will have the interview available on the website and you are welcome to listen later.

Advancing Life, Liberty and Justice in Him,

Allan E. Parker
President

Fatima

Our Lady Of Fatima "The humility of Mary and her trustful awaiting everything from God is like a road sign for us who are traveling on the path to holiness or following a program of interior life. The gestures of empty hands and a gaze looking toward heaven portray the attitude of the poor and humble Handmaid of the Lord. It is recommended that everyone imitate this attitude."

(Open Wide the Door to Christ, pg.195

Mother's Day

Just for fun

 

A Faithful Friend

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;
he who finds one finds a treasure.

A faithful friend is beyond price,
no sum can balance his worth.

A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy,
such as he who fears God finds;

 

First of all I want to say that I have been blessed with some pretty incredible friends. Ones who have known me at my best, and at my worst, and still unconditionally love me.  They have been with me through good times and bad. We have laughed, cried, rejoiced and mourned together. I thank God for them always and I pray they feel they same about me.

A friendship like that is truly an amazing gift from God, one that challenges us to grow in love knowing we can be our true selves and that the person will be there loving us in spite of any failings. We know we are accepted as we are.

But, I also know the pain of a relationship unrequited. One that perhaps I thought was one way, and then painfully came to find out was completely different.

In those relationships, I have often accepted unacceptable behavior because I did not want to see the truth.  I have found a million excuses not to see the signs that were screaming out to me because I did not want to believe that the person I cared for so deeply did not feel the same way.

“It must have been a mistake”, “I am sure he/she did not realize how hurtful that was”, “I will tell them how hurt I felt and surely it will not happen again” but nothing changed. I would come up with a million excuses to stop myself from finally facing the fact that the person did not feel about me the same way I felt about them.

There was a time after my abortion, when my self esteem was so low, that I saw every failed relationship as a reflection of my own worth. I believed I was worthless and unlovable, and so it was always my fault. How could someone love me who had taken the life of her own child? Of course they would leave!

I have come to learn a lot over the years through my healing in Jesus Christ. It does not make the lesson any less painful, but I have learned it is not always about me and I have learned that I am never alone or unloved,  He is there with me through it all.

It is still a painful lesson, to learn and face, especially if it is a relationship you have given years of your life to, but clinging to unhealthy relationships and trying to force or believe what you want, instead of what is, is not a good thing and ends up destroying your peace of mind. I thank God for the grace to let go and to trust Him with my life no matter how scary things seem. I know now I have dignity as person, and He loves me unconditionally, and I thank HIm fo r those "faithful" friends, that stand by me through lifes difficulties and are surely my sturdy shelter.

Jesus, I trust in you!

Mother's Day Card

Congratulations Angelina!

Those of you who attend our retreats will remember Angelina who just gave one of the talks at our annual "Mercy Retreat" this past March.

Angelina Steenstra

As she takes part in the National March for Life on Thursday, Angelina Steenstra, the National Coordinator for Silent No More Awareness Campaign Canada and the Co-founder of Second Chance Post Abortion Healing ministry, will wear the Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee Medal she received in honour of her service to her fellow Canadians.

The medal was released at the end of 2012 to celebrate the Queen’s accession to the throne in 1952. The British monarch is Canada’s head of state, even though Canada has full political independence from the United Kingdom.

Steenstra said she was surprised and moved to learn that Maurice Vellacott, the Member of Parliament for Saskatoon-Wanuskewin, had nominated her for the award. In a letter that accompanied the medal, Vellacott described Steenstra as “a force for good” and said, “Canada will become a nation that again values life because of works of sacrificial service.” Steenstra said, “I never thought of myself as being in service to my country, but being a recipient of this medal has opened my eyes, and now I see the work of raising awareness of the devastating aftereffects of abortion through a different lens.”

Abortion was legalized in Canada in 1969, but only when the life or health of a mother was imperiled by the pregnancy. In 1988, the Supreme Court struck down the existing law as unconstitutional. Without a law restricting abortion in Canada, abortions are now governed by provincial and medical regulations and can be performed for any reason up to the moment of birth. Because Canada’s 34 million citizens are covered by a nationalized health-care system, in almost every case the government picks up the tab. As in the United States, lax reporting requirements in Canada make it impossible to know how many children have lost their lives to abortion, but the number is believed to be greater than 120,000 per year.

The year 2012 marked 40 years since Steenstra left Canada to travel to Buffalo, N.Y., for an abortion following a traumatic date rape. Just a teenager, she was afraid to tell her family about the rape, and believed an abortion clinic worker who convinced her that her best option was to terminate her pregnancy.

“When I had my abortion, I was told it was no big deal, that it would solve ‘my problem’” she recalled. “In fact, the abortion began a life of problems. For years, I lived in denial that abortion was the root of my emotional, spiritual, physical, and relational pain.”

Steenstra attended the second annual Silent No More Awareness Campaign event during the March for Life in Washington D.C., in January 2004. She was so moved by the testimonies of the women and men that she accepted the invitation to bring the Campaign to Canada. Just four months later, on May 13, 2004, Canada hosted its first Silent No More Awareness Campaign gathering on Parliament Hill in Ottawa, in conjunction with the National March for Life. Thirteen women and men came forward and stood shoulder to shoulder to publicly break their silence. They did this courageous act to help others avoid the pain of abortion, and to let those suffering in silence know that hope and healing were available.

“We were embraced,” she said. “It was a very unique and brave thing to do. People were very grateful and applauded our courage.”

This year’s event will mark the Canadian campaign’s 10th gathering. It is a celebration of all the lives that have been touched through the Campaign. Steenstra points out, “The ripple effect of our testimonies is immeasurable: Babies saved; Post-abortive women and men restored to joy; Relationships healed; Addictions broken; Hearts mended; Medical complications avoided – and the list goes on.”

Steenstra states that she is “grateful to be the recipient of this medal. I accept it on behalf of all the courageous women and men of the Silent No More Awareness Campaign with whom I stand, and on behalf of all the post-abortive women and men whom I’ve served over the past two decades.”

The Silent No More Awareness Campaign gathering will begin at 2:45 p.m. on the steps of Parliament Hill.

God's Love

 

I always say we can not look at the truth of our abortions without God's love..it would be so horrific...Fr Tadeusz Dajczer, in his book "The Gift of Faith" agrees...

 

"If we were to know only the reality of our sin, it could ruin us. Our lives would become completely weighed down by our own evil; our lives would be marked with restlessness, stress, and sorrow. There has to be an opening within us for a further gift of the Spirit, for the discovery through faith of God's love for us."

(The Gift of Faith, Third Edition, pg.79)

 

Pilgrim Image of Our Lady of Czestochowa

On August 24th the Pilgrim image of Our Lady of Czestochowa will be landing at St Clements Island in MD. This is the exact same spot where the "Ark" and "Dove" (two ships from England carrying persecuted Catholics to the first Catholic settlement in the English colonies - Maryland. )landed.

This pilgrim image has been traveling through Europe "From Ocean to Ocean" in defense of Life. On Divine Mercy Sunday of this year she stood in the place of the apparitions of Fatima and has been to numerous countries.

One of the intentions of the pilgrimage is for those who mourn from abortion. For me this an amazing mystery of our faith having named her the patroness of my post abortive work 20 years ago. You can read about that here: http://postabortionhelp.org/pah/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Our-Lady-of-Czestochowa.pdf

I will keep you updated as to her whereabouts so that you can have the great blessing of participating in this wonderful gift of her visit to us!

Monster in the Room

 

The Monster in the Room

 There are not too many of us who have not had the experience of being frightened as a child thinking there were monsters under our beds or in our closets.

 My parents always used to leave my bedroom door ajar when I was little. I can still remember the fright I felt thinking a monster was under my bed, or in the hallway about to barge into my room to devour me. I ultimately would tell my parents about my fears and they would assure me he wasn’t really present as we checked out each space to my satisfaction until I felt safe enough to go to sleep.

 Years later, the presence of another monster began living in our house. This time we all knew he was real, but no one spoke about him. We all felt his presence. NO matter how much we tried to ignore him, he affected each of our lives, but we each stayed in denial as if that would make him less real or make him give up and go away.

 Unlike my childhood days, there was no talk with my parents to alleviate the fears, and the safety I once felt within family was no longer present. In fact, being with my family became the place where I felt most threatened and most unlike myself. I could not believe, in spite of his huge presence, we all acted as if he did not exist. Was I the only one seeing? Was I crazy for being upset? Did it really not bother them? We lived a facade of closeness but in reality my family did not know me or what was going on within me for years. Having been forced to abort my unborn child by my parents when I was in my teens, the abandonment, and isolation I experienced carried into our relationship on a permanent level. The monster of abortion does that in countless families.

 Having had a saline abortion, the picture of my unborn child was literally burnt in my mind. The resulting fear, guilt, shame and self hate lived with me for years. I suffered from panic and anxiety attacks, and suicidal ideation was a constant companion. After all, I had killed my own child.

 I picked a spouse poorly, (you pick what you think you deserve), and for me that meant abuse. Each subsequent pregnancy I experienced brought with it a terror of being punished for my sin, but of course, I never spoke of it. I stopped going to church and receiving the sacraments. In my mind, I had committed the “unforgivable sin” and I was convinced that the walls of the church would cave down around me if I entered, or that the neon sign I was sure was affixed to my back would make my abortion known to everyone. I lived in the constant fear of being “found out”.

 After years of suffering and living in denial with this monster that controlled my life, I decided to confront my abortion. I returned to church and began spiritual direction under my parish priest. As I came to know Jesus, I learned of His mercy and forgiveness even for this horrible sin. I refused to live in denial anymore, and although I did not directly confront my family, they were very aware I was addressing my abortion. When I began speaking out about my experience years later no one in my family said a word.

 I was sure they had just moved on. The abortion was never mentioned. In fact, there was an unspoken rule never to speak of it, but in truth, it touched all of our lives. 

 Years later I found out my mom carried around guilt for years, convinced she too was headed to hell because they had forced me to abort. She also experienced that same terror of punishment by God each time I was pregnant. What should have been a joyful time for us had been filled with fear and dread, thinking God was going to get us back.

 My siblings were affected by my abortion as well, and future family members would later tell me “We knew there was something wrong in our family; we just did not know what it was.” My own living children reacted with a resounding “Now, our life makes sense” when they learned of their aborted brother, and a natural healing process had to take place for them as well as they mourned the brother they never met, aborted many years before they were even born.

 For the past fifteen years I have been doing post abortion ministry. I have witnessed abortions destruction in many families. The parents who is a change in their daughter but do not know why. The husband and wife who have become strangers because they believed abortion was an answer. The teenager who knows her mothers secret and is desperate to help, but afraid to let her know she knows. The sibling who feels guilty for being alive.  The father mourning the loss of the unborn child he did not even know he had until it was too late. The list can go on and on.

 Over the years many new ministries and outreach programs have been formed to help those suffering from a past abortion. The church too has become more vocal in reaching out to those suffering. More people are confronting the impact abortion has had, not only on the mother and fathers but on entire families and on our society. Countless women and men have, and continue to find, healing through the mercy and forgiveness of God.

 It took many years, but the monster of abortion was finally addressed in my family. With God’s help we finally chased him out of our heads and hearts and filled them instead with His mercy and forgiveness.

 Theresa Bonopartis
Lumina/Hope & Healing after Abortion
www.postabortionhelp.org
[email protected]
Theresa Bonopartis is the Director of Lumina/Hope & Healing after Abortion, a post abortion ministry of Good Counsel Homes. She also is co-developer along with The Sisters of Life, of “Entering Canaan- a Sacramental Journey to an Inheritance of Mercy” a post abortion ministry. (article originally published in "Celebrate Life"