Reclaiming Our Children

The Good Thief

a really nice reflection....

The Good Thief by Fr. Sopocko

On each side of Our Lord hung a thief on a cross. "Now one of those robbers who were hanged was abusing him, saying: 'If thou art the Christ, save thyself and us!' But the other in answer rebuked the first and said, 'Dost not even thou fear God, seeing that thou art under the same sentence? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving what our deeds deserved; but this man has done nothing wrong.' And he said to Jesus, 'Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom'." (Luke 23 : 39-42).

Why did the other robber blaspheme? Perhaps as some sort of despairing gesture of defiance against his terrible fate. Or perhaps because he had lost hope of Our Lord's being able to save Himself and them—he repeated: "If thou art the Christ [the Messiah], save thyself and us." Most probably, however, because darkness reigned in his soul. For there, before his eyes, were examples of Divine and human holiness; he heard the voice of Our Lord, praying for His enemies; he saw in Him an unparalleled patience; beneath the cross stood the Mother of Mercy, interceding for him. But the wicked man resisted the action of grace, and died blaspheming the Saviour, who was so soon to become his Judge.

Could anything be more tragic and terrible to the Merciful Saviour? The Shepherd looked on at the loss of His sheep, casting itself by its own choice into the jaws of hell! The grace of mercy encountered the impenetrable obstacle of final obduracy. Mary's tender gaze found no response in the icy heart of the prisoner writhing with pain. No tongue can describe the grief that this caused to Our Lord and His Mother.

While this thief was blaspheming, the other began to reflect on himself, and repent. First he sharply rebuked the bad thief for his blasphemy and impious attitude to the Saviour, pointing out that the punishment that both thieves were undergoing was no more than their just deserts, and reminding him of the future punishment that God would inflict on them, and which would be even more severe, if they did not now repent. So he said: "Dost not even thou fear God?"—in other words: You are already suffering so much now—are you not afraid, with such sins on your conscience, to face the judgment? The good thief had begun to fear God, and this was the beginning of his repentance, which he proclaimed by publicly admitting his guilt and his readiness to accept his punishment: "We are receiving what our deeds deserved."

 

the rest is here: http://www.divinemercy.org/trust/the-good-thief.html

Whirlwind of Abortion

We all have them, connectors to our abortions that set us off into a whirlwind when activated.  They can be like a suction, dragging us through time and sweeping us up emotionally to the very real trauma we have experienced.

Each of us may have different connectors, although many of us experience similar ones. The anniversary of the abortion, or our baby's due date. A certain sound, or a smell that reminds us of the abortion. A place we ate that we cannot go to anymore without knowing why; clothes we used to love to wear and now hate, emotions of anger, rage, fear.  Or, in my case, complete and total abandonment.

My abandonment use to land me in the dark pit of despair screaming at me that no ones loves, or cares for me. Not surprising, considering I was a 17 year old, unwed, pregnant girl, cast out into the world  with no job, no money and no place to go in order to coerce me into having the abortion my dad wanted at almost 5 months of pregnancy.

But, you do not have to be 17. You can be a woman whose husband threatens to leave, or whose boyfriend promises the world if only you abort, and then disappears. There are a million different scenarios. Abandonment, the ultimate despair and lonliness. Even Jesus cried out in the garden when He felt it.

Abandonment kept me in a personal prison for many years. The feeling would come up in many circumstances tormenting me, leaving me wondering how I could ever go on. Every argument brought on its fear, and every end, even if I was the one who ended it ,seeped me in its feelings.

I would always become terrfied of what was,in my mind, going to happen. The truth is I am the only one who made it happen, but I did not know how to stop it at the time, and did not connect it to my abortion. It was so powerful!

It took a long time and much searching for me to finally learn and recognize it for it was, an abortion connector. I then needed to step back and acknowledge that it had nothing to do with what was happening in the present, but was a trigger of the past, the familiar emotional whirlwind that sucked me up for years. Once I learned that, I was able to see what was really happening and talk myself into the present...to stay sure footed instead of allowing the forces of the whirlwind of abandonment to sweep me away.

It took time and lots of "practice," and the help of good, patient friends and a wonderful spiritual director. Sometimes I wonder how in the world they put up with me, but, in time I learned the difference between what I was feeling and what I was knowing.

I expect the trauma of abandonment will always be in my life and will continue to rear its ugly head when times are tough. It was a ploy of the devil for so many years to lock me into despair, that he probably cannot believe it does not work anymore. I also believe it will be present in my final battle of this life. By the grace of God, it has lost its power over me. I still can feel it at times, but now my  knowing defuses it. My knowing Jesus Christ!

“My grace is enough for you: for where there is weakness, my power is shown the more completely.”

Like St. Paul, may I always boast of this "thorn in my flesh" which is always there to remind me of where I came from, and most importantly of the great mercy, love and forgiveness God has given me.

"Three times I begged the Lord for it to leave me, but his reply has been, “My grace is enough for you: for where there is weakness, my power is shown the more completely.” Therefore, I have cheerfully made up my mind to be proud of my weaknesses, because they mean a deeper experience of the power of Christ. I can even enjoy weaknesses, suffering, privations, persecutions and difficulties for Christ’s sake. For my very weakness makes me strong in him." (2 Corinthians 12)

"Don't let anyone rob you of hope." Pope Francis

Day of Prayer & Healing

Suicide and Abortion

For all the talk of abortion not impacting women, you have to wonder how  many suicides are a result of aborting a baby. I know when I was in the midst of despair before my healing, I  often had suicidal ideation. I always say of I did not have my two sons who knows what would have happened.

So, it was no surprise when I saw this article  about JIahKhans who comitted suicide after aborting her baby. http://post.jagran.com/jiah-aborted-her-baby-confirms-letter-1370854019 . The letter she left spoke about her abortion and the deep depression she was in. So sad, and to be honest, it makes me angry, because our society is still denying the very real impact of abortion on women. Instead of protecting them we continue to deny and expand abortion.

Obviously there were other issues here, but it does not matter. The bottom line is, this woman was left without hope and she deserved better than that.

Please pray for the repose of her soul and also for those who failed to love her.

Lord have mercy. He is the only one who knows how many women and men we have lost because of abortion. So sad, because there truly is hope and healing and we can never give up bringing that message to those suffering in silence.

Jiah aborted her baby, confirms letter

10 Jun 2013, 03:49 PM

 

     

Previous ArticleNext Article

Jiah aborted her baby, confirms letter

Mumbai: Bollywood actress Jiah Khan, who had committed suicide at her Juhu residence last week, had written a six-page note mentioning about her troubled love affair with the son of an actor couple before going for the extreme step. The actress’ family has handed over her last letter to the police in which she mentioned that she had underwent abortion and was in extreme depression.

- See more at: http://post.jagran.com/jiah-aborted-her-baby-confirms-letter-1370854019#sthash.0UfMScTE.dpuf

Jiah aborted her baby, confirms letter

10 Jun 2013, 03:49 PM

Previous ArticleNext Article

Jiah aborted her baby, confirms letter

Mumbai: Bollywood actress Jiah Khan, who had committed suicide at her Juhu residence last week, had written a six-page note mentioning about her troubled love affair with the son of an actor couple before going for the extreme step. The actress’ family has handed over her last letter to the police in which she mentioned that she had underwent abortion and was in extreme depression.

READ MORE: Why Jiah Khan commit

- See more at: http://post.jagran.com/jiah-aborted-her-baby-confirms-letter-1370854019#sthash.0UfMScTE.dpuf

A Prayer to the Merciful Jesus

 

Merciful Jesus, who obtained our salvation by Your ultimate sacrifice on the cross,

help us to always keep our eyes on You.

May we never fail to recognize that there is nothing we can do

to make up for our abortions,

but that we do not have to, because You have already made up for them.

May we gaze lovingly at You without fear or dread,

and in spite of any feelings we may be tempted with,

aay we always believe in Your great love and mercy for us.

Help us to see at the cross, not only the abyss of our sins,

but also the abyss of Your love and mercy.

May we recognize our right to be forgiven because of You and who You are.

May we always adore the cross, in the company of Mary, Our Merciful Mother.

May she, given to us out of Your love fo r us,

accompany us on our healing journey into heaven,

there to be with You and our children for eternity.

Amen.

 

"Be Still and Know that I am God"

“Be Still and Know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10),

 

I do not know about the rest of you, but I have a hard time staying still in suffering. There is a part of me that still seeks to act on my emotions, or change a situation. It is something I have had trouble with all of my life and has often hurt me more than the original suffering. The clinging to my will instead of His.

I am now more conscience of my patterns. I try not to act on my emotions which often are raging in times of deep hurt. Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail, but with the help of God  I am maturing and learning more to “be still” in the midst of these times.

I have also learned that it is ok to lament to God who hears our prayers and sees the truth of any situation. That is why it was so nice to read Pope Francis’ words, “lamenting suffering is a form of prayer and is not a sin.”

Still, I must work at bringing the emotions to God and then “be still”, trusting in Him and His love for me. It is not easy letting go, (something we often have to do to be still), especially of things close to our heart. It is a struggle, a dying to self and some days it is easier than others, but when we do get the grace, it is totally freeing and allows us to cling to God alone, who knows our hearts, loves us and longs to fill us with His life.

So, in the midst of suffering, although I may not “feel” it , I thank you God for this suffering with which I know you are purifying me and bringing me closer to Your heart!

“Love One Another as I have Loved you”

(spring 2005)

“Love One Another as I have Loved you”

 I just buried my dad this past January. Those of you who know of my story will remember that he was very instrumental in my abortion.  My dad had disowned me when he learned that I was pregnant. I was 18 years old and found myself in a situation with no money, no job and no place to live. Once out of the house, he pressured me to abort my baby and little by little my resolve was chipped away until I finally gave in.  I felt there was no “choice”.

 It was 2 years before my dad and I spoke again. The abortion was never mentioned. On the outside, it was as if it had never happened, although inside I am sure it was never far from either of our minds. One of the hardest parts of my own healing was letting go of the anger and rage I had for my father, and learning to deal with the deep issues of abandonment. My abortion affected so many areas of my life. It was as if a poison were running through my veins. I will always remember one day when my brother in law who was visiting at the time turned to me and said, “Theresa, you need to let go of your anger, you need to forgive him or it is going to kill you.” I knew he was right, but somehow holding onto to the anger meant holding on to my son.

 Many years later, through my conversion and post abortion counseling; I finally found peace with God, my unborn child and myself, however, things with my dad were still a struggle. It was as if this huge monster was present in our relationship and we were both ignoring it even though it was blocking our view.  I truly wanted reconciliation, so I began to pray a novena to Our Lady of Czestochowa for my dad’s conversion. A part of me was still waiting for an “I’m sorry”…I can remember my sister telling me “Don’t wait, you are never going to get it…he still thinks he did not do anything wrong.”  How was that possible? At times I had to resist the urge to scream at him and let him know how I saw his dead grandson on the bed next to me…how could he not be sorry?

 Through the years different situations would make me angry with him again and I found I had to decide to forgive him all over again…with each new experience I would feel like giving up on him. He was so stubborn and unrepentant, but through the grace of God and good spiritual direction I was able to continue. I will never forget the day when my spiritual director hit me with these lines “Allow your father to make you a saint…don’t confront him with the abortion. Let him teach you forgiveness, let him teach you patience, let him teach you understanding and humility.” I can remember walking out of the friary and thinking...”Oh my gosh, how will I ever be able to do that? You are asking too much of me…how can you expect that after what he did.” But I left and prayed and prayed for the grace to do just that because I knew that was what God wanted of me.

 It was not easy…many times over the years I wanted to scream at him and he tried my patience on many occasions, but as much as I was tempted to stop I continued the daily novena for almost 20 years.

 In the end, Our Lady of Czestochowa came through. My dad received the sacraments for the first time in over 60 years and was anointed the day before his death. I am so grateful to God, not only for my father’s salvation, but for mine. In the end, God not only used me as an instrument to bring my dad back to the church, but He used my dad to bring me closer to His heart. The lessons of patience, and forgiveness my dad taught me are things I will reflect on for a long time to come.  Instead of focusing on his failings, I was forced to look at my own weaknesses. I learned not to blame but to understand more deeply that we are all sinners in need of His mercy and as we have been forgiven, we are all called to show that mercy to others. One of the last conversations I had with my dad, was to ask him to give my son Joshua a hug for me when they met.  The miracles and mysteries of faith…

 Colossians 1:13-15 

“For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption and  the forgiveness of sins. “

Rest in peace dad.

Generation to Generation

From Generation to Generation

 

When I became involved with the Entering Canaan post abortion ministry, it was not long before I recognized many similarities between the way the older women discussed their emotional traumas and my own mother’s behavior.  Over the months, I began to feel that there was more of a connection than the mere proximity of age and socio-economic status of these women to my mother.

 

Since I was a young child, in fact, for as long as my memory exists, my mother has been horribly plagued by depression.  So much so that there have been entire portions of my childhood where she was hospitalized or so heavily medicated and affected that she was completely dysfunctional.  She would often spend entire days in bed, leaving us, as children, to our own devices.  The picture began to replay itself in my mind as I listened to the stories of older women who suffered the guilt of terminating their pregnancies and a curiosity grew about my own mother.

 

I am a forty-one year old post-abortive man.  The termination of my child’s life took place sixteen years ago.  My mother never knew about the abortion and, like so many post-abortive parents, I have not shared the secret with many people outside of the safety of the ministry.  One Saturday last year, I sat with my mother and shared my story of guilt with her.  She was so moved that she shared her story with me.

 

I am the youngest of three children.  Between my mother’s pregnancy with my older brother and with me, there was a fourth child.  It was the early 1960’s and my mother was a young mother of two children already with an ambitious husband who was not at home much to help with the children.  When she suspected that she was pregnant again, she went to her doctor and expressed an inability to deal with another pregnancy so soon.  Her doctor gave her an injection which was supposed to bring on her menstrual cycle.  When her menstrual cycle did not start, she returned to her doctor.  He told her that he wanted to examine her and as he did so, she said that she felt a sharp pinch and asked him what he was doing.  Without discussing it with her, he had pulled the developing embryo from her uterine wall, aborting the pregnancy.

 

Her mental and physical well-being deteriorated steadily from that point on.  Two years later, I was born.  Though I never felt any lack of emotional nurturing from my mother, she was never fully with us.  She eventually came under the care of several psychiatrists and was hospitalized numerous times during my youth.  My sister and brother and I spent large blocks of time being cared for by our grandparents and we did suffer some neglect, though nothing so serious that it posed any kind of a threat.   We missed our mother and the abortion took her and our sibling from us.

 

She is not ready to discuss this episode of her life with anyone.  She told me that she divulged it to one psychiatrist whom she trusted.  Knowing that she was a Catholic, he recommended that she confess it to a priest.  She did and she received absolution, however, it was not enough for her.  She has since dwelled upon the sin and never healed.  She will not come with me to the Entering Canaan ministry’s day of prayer and healing.  She is not ready.

 

Abortion hurts women, it hurts families and it destroys lives.  My undeveloped sibling had his or her short existence destroyed.  The tragedy is multiplied manifold by the destruction of my mother’s health and my family’s loss of having a whole person to raise us.  I have no hatred or resentment for my mother, as I am sure that she worried would be the case.  I cannot judge her, having committed the act myself, knowingly and with premeditation.  I grieve for her loss, so great and unfathomable.  A lifetime swept away with guilt, wasted and unforgiven.  I pray for peace and quiet to embrace her soul and the soul of my lost sibling and I pray for their joyous reunion in an eternity of love and forgiveness.  Meanwhile, I wait for her, in His time, to accompany me on my journey of redemption.                                                                                                                         - James

 

Talking to your kids

The 11 points from the elliot Institute are right on....(you can get the pod cast of the show on the Cradle My Heart Page)

How to talk to your kids about your abortion

May 28, 2013 · by cradlemyheart · in abortion conversation, abortion deception, abortion truth, Emotional problems after abortion, Radio Guests, spiritual help after abortion  

Cradle My Heart Radio with advice for parenting after abortion this Sunday June 2 at 9 pm

© Claudia Dewald

[UPDATE: podcast posted 6-3-13]

 

The majority–61 % of women–who choose to abort a child before birth will also have the experience of mothering other children at some point in their lives.

How important is it for your kids to know about that past abortion?

How do you talk to your kids about your abortion? And should you?

These are sensitive questions which require discernment and prayer. The answers are as deeply and uniquely personal as your abortion story itself.

Yet, I see real value in speaking truth to your children when the time is right. The way my kids came to know about my abortion was not ideal. I learned the hard way what not to do. Don’t assume abortion should be kept secret. Likewise, don’t share the news of a past abortion without a very good reason to do so. It takes careful preparation and  parental wisdom to talk to your kids in a way that will benefit them and increase their feelings of safety and belonging while maintaining their innate need to look up to you as  a positive role model.

The rest i s here: http://cradlemyheart.org/2013/05/28/how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-your-abortion/

 

Here is a post we had on this recently http://reclaimingourchildren.typepad.com/lumina_a_ray_of_light_aft/2013/04/how-to-talk-to-your-children.html

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