Recently, actor Mark Ruffalo came out in defense of legal abortion. Mark speaks of how, as a young woman, his mom was forced to have an illegal abortion and the trauma that came with that. Sadly, he now believes that legal abortion would not have had such an impact and his mother would not have suffered the way that she did.
Mark goes on to say, "It was a traumatizing thing for her. It was shameful and sleazy and
demeaning.
When I heard the story I was aghast by the lowliness of a
society that would make a woman do that. I could not understand its lack
of humanity; today is no different."
He has got that right! TODAY is no different! The truth is, abortion is still shameful, sleazy, and demeaning. I know that first hand and hear stories from new women everyday. Legal or illegal, one only has to read stories of abortionists like Gosnell or James Pendergraft (to name just a couple) to learn that nothing much has changed. Mark is under the assumption, like many who do not realize abortion itself is the problem, that it is freeing, when in truth, it binds millions of women for their entire lives.
This year Lumina will hold its fifth retreat for siblings of aborted babies. People from across the country have participated in sibling retreat days. Some are very in tune with their aborted siblings, others are not even able to go there mentally, yet. All of the siblings, we have found, no matter how hurt or angry they may be, are determined to protect the parents they love. At the sibling retreat, participants are free to speak of their anger, hurt, survivor guilt, etc., knowing their parents will not be judged, but instead that we seek to bring healing to all.
In his Gospel of Life, Pope John Paul II says, "I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases it was a
painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have
healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give
in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what
happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves
over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to
give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To
the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child." (#99)
Yes, abortion remains "terribly wrong," but, we can "understand" why it may have happened and encourage reconciliation and healing. We can reach out in compassion while still speaking the truth of abortion.
I was saddened by the comments all over social media about Mark Ruffalo. Things like "he does not care about his aborted sibling," "I will never watch his movies again," and, "Mark Ruffalo loves abortion." I obviously do not know him, but he is probably a nice guy who loves his mom and has seen her suffer a lot. His compassion is misguided and he does not want to hurt her more, much like those who feel they have to say abortion is all right because they know a loved one who has had one. Mark would be better served with compassion, understanding, and education to the truth of abortion and all those it impacts. He needs to learn how not only does it kill the unborn, but still to this day, legal or illegal, it very often locks women and men into shame, guilt, and trauma. How, in truth, it will never be a choice his daughters, "enjoy," but will actually open the way for them to experience the same trauma his mother did.
We missed the opportunity to understand, to compassionately speak to him, and perhaps even reach his mother, who I am sure is still suffering. Instead, he got judgement and condemnation. I have no doubt that Mark's aborted sibling who is "living in the Lord," desires the healing of their mom and all in their family.
We all need God's mercy. We all fall short. I pray that both Mark, his mom, and anyone else impacted by abortion finds the healing, forgiveness and peace of Christ who desires that for each one of us.
For another perspective on the story, click here to visit the blog, Suviving Siblings.
I just read an article the other day, about another post abortive sibling. Though, to my somewhat surprise, he was not speaking out in pain like I, or the siblings in my testimony category have, he was actually speaking in defense of legal abortion. After reading, I started to understand why. His mom was traumatized by an illegal abortion. So in his eyes, as in the eyes of many, having it readily available is a kind thing. While I personally do not agree, as my mom and so many others I know were traumatized by their legal abortions, I know what it’s like to be defensive of my mom. As do many other siblings. While some of us may mourn for the siblings we never had a chance to meet, and others have a hard time feeling any attachment to them, we’ve often had to watch our parents struggle.
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Are you the sibling of an aborted baby?
There is Hope. There is Healing. There is a way out of the
darkness.
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Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope. There is Healing. There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at [email protected]
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