An October 17th article from Live Action News addressed how one pro-abortion site was directing women who have had abortions to "be true to your feelings." One emotion however, that is not allowed, is shame. In fact, they go to great lengths to blame feelings of shame felt by those who have lost a child to abortion on anything but the fact that they have participated in the death of their own child - as if that were not a reason to feel badly.
Pope Francis speaks frequently about the "Grace of Shame" which can also be very powerful emotion in leading to deep and lasting healing for the post abortive.
Shame is not
necessarily a bad thing. It can be
signal of a wrong doing and a motivating factor for those impacted by abortion
to seek help.
While celebrating
the Feast of St. Ignatius with fellow Jesuits, Pope Francis said, “We look at
the wisdom of Christ and our ignorance, at his omnipotence and our weakness, at
his justice and our inequity and at his goodness and our badness …We ask for
the grace of shame, the shame that comes from a continuous conversation of
mercy with him, the shame that makes us blush before Jesus Christ.”
The remedy for
shame is humility. An admittance of what
we have heard over and over in the scriptures.
A deep acknowledgment that without God, we are all capable of any sin
and that it is Him and His love and mercy alone that brings us out of the
darkness, that of ourselves we are nothing, but through Him all good things come.
If we truly
believe this, we would see the “grace” of shame for we would know that each and
every one of us, no matter what the sin, is saved only through the grace of God. Our sinfulness would not surprise us, but
instead humble us knowing our need for dependence on Him. Then, the brilliance of the light of His
glory will surely outshine this shame leaving us gazing at the goodness of the
Lord instead of ourselves.
Shame on You!
If any of us
have had those words spoken to us as a child; most likely we would have recoiled
in horror. Our eyes downcast in a
gesture of hiding, we were certain that the entire world could see the act we
did to bring on such a statement and that shame found its permanent dwelling in
neon lights above our head. It would be
a while before we ventured out before our accuser, hoping the lights had burnt
out, or at least dimmed so as not to draw attention to ourselves. We would watch their reaction to see, if, in
fact, the shame was lifted and we could go on with our lives or if we needed to
continue, half-alive for a while longer.
Many women and
men who are post abortive live every day of their lives with shame. They can never get away from the accuser and
the “neon” light never dims because the accuser and accused are one and the
same… themselves.
Hidden shame is
projected on all of their relationships, causing them to live in the fear that
they will be “found out” and that everyone will see the neon light shining down
on them.
Post abortive
women and men draw a connection to this shame even when there is no connection
to be made.
One woman I know
expressed this in a recent trip to a cemetery that has a tomb for the unborn. “I wanted to pray before the tomb but, it is
right near the cemetery office. I just
could not bring myself to let anyone see me there.” When I asked her if she
thought everyone who prayed before that tomb was post abortive, that in fact,
many people who are not probably stopped to say a prayer, she expressed that
she had never thought of that. For her,
it was a sure admittance of the death of her unborn child, the neon light
pointing to her shame.
Snuffing Out the
Light
Until the post
abortive person opens up and shares their feelings with an appropriate person,
whether a mental health professional, ministry, or trained lay person, there is
little chance of freedom from the bondage of shame they are living with.
They need to
“face it honestly” as Pope John Paul II reminds us in “The Gospel of Life.”
“The Church is
aware of the many factors which may have influenced your decision, and she does
not doubt that in many cases it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your heart may not yet have
healed. Certainly what happened was and
remains terribly wrong. But do not give
in to discouragement and do not lose hope.
Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so give yourself
over with humility and trust to repentance.
The Father of mercies is ready to give you His forgiveness and peace in
the Sacrament of Reconciliation. You
will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be
able to ask forgiveness from your child who is now living in the Lord.”
They need to
understand what has happened to them and the impact it has had on their
thinking and actions. They need to learn
that most always; it is they who are shining the neon light on themselves.
*******
Are
you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope. There is Healing. There is a way out of the
darkness.
Email us at [email protected].
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008.
For
more information on post abortion healing, visit the Lumina website.
