Reclaiming Our Children

Pope Francis called on the faithful to take a moment to “pray for ourselves so that the Lord give us always the grace to not lose the sense of sin, so that the Kingdom does not fall from within us.”

Just thinking of my prior post and how so many in that article have lost the "sense of sin", but then wonder why there is violence in the world.

Radio Show today on post abortive fathers

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/truradio/2014/01/31/pro-life-fridays-bruce-rivers-on-the-post-abortive-father

Relationships and Abortion

"I had this idea that once I ended the pregnancy, I'd be fine. But I'm not the same person I was, and I never will be. I felt conflicted…and then angry at myself for feeling that way. I am so glad I was able to get an abortion, but I would not do it again."

That is a loaded statement, but one that we see frequently in postabortive ministry - conflicting emotions because of the messages women get. Abortion is the solution to the problem and life will return to the same way it was before pregnancy, mad because how dare you feel bad after we worked so hard for abortion, and lastly, if she is "glad" why does she feel so bad?

Anyway, on to the article which is from Cosmo. No time to comment right now, but at a quick glance it appeared pretty balanced in showing different circumstances. Of course at the end of the article they have a blurp from pro abortion, post abortion Exhale that says, "There's no right or wrong way to feel after an abortion." Really? Anyway, probably worth a read....

"How Our Abortion Changed Our Relationship"
January 21, 2014 at 12:41PM by Liz Welch

Peek behind the doors of your local women's health clinic and you might see something surprising: men. "Men are much more involved in decisions involving birth control and pregnancy as well as termination these days," says Cecile Richards, the president of Planned Parenthood. "It's part of a generational shift." Amanda Kifferly sees the change in her waiting rooms every day as the director of patient advocacy for The Women's Center, which runs clinics in four states. "These men care deeply about the women getting an abortion," she says. "It's crucial to include their experiences in the dialogue about the procedure."

And yet men rarely are asked about their experience — even though they likely bought the pregnancy test, shielded a girlfriend from protesters, held her hand during the procedure, or cared for her afterward. Abortion can test a relationship, cement it, or end it, as Cosmopolitan discovered in speaking to the four couples here. Given that 3 out of 10 women in the U.S. will have an abortion by age 45, says Richards, "there are very few families in this country who have not been touched by an unplanned pregnancy or one that has gone awry. The more people tell their personal stories the better. It gets these conversations out of the political realm and into people's real lives."

The rest is here: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/celebrity/news/how-abortion-changed-our-relationship

Forgiveness After Abortion

Being so wounded as someone who has had an abortion, you may be stuck on forgiveness...

Forgiving in the Name of God - Henri Nouwen
 
We are all wounded people. Who wounds us? Often those whom we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated, or violated, it is mostly by people very close to us: our parents, our friends, our spouses, our lovers, our children, our neighbors, our teachers, our pastors. Those who love us wound us too. That's the tragedy of our lives. This is what makes forgiveness from the heart so difficult. It is precisely our hearts that are wounded. We cry out, "You, who I expected to be there for me, you have abandoned me. How can I ever forgive you for that?"

Forgiveness often seems impossible, but nothing is impossible for God. The God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, "In the Name of God you are forgiven." Let's pray for that grace.

 

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Are you or someone you know suffering from the aftermath of an abortion? There is hope.  There is healing.  Visit the Lumina Website for more information. 

 

Keeping Focused in the ProLife Chaos

It is so easy to get pulled into the business of the pro life movement. Especially because in our culture there is so much craziness going on out there.

While we are called to action in the way God asks of each of us, in recent years, for me it has become even more "outside" because of the pressures of social media.

While I can understand the benefits of reaching more people etc. so more can be helped, I also see it as a distraction and a real danger to what it is God is calling me to do. A possibility that I can think it is what I do, instead of the truth, what He does.

I find I must stop and pray before I act on my impulse to respond to things to be sure it is Him and not me asking me to respond.

Instead of the quiet of His presence, where true healing is found, I can get pulled into the whirlwind of response. It seems there is almost a competition for attention and money, keeping up with the Jones', and sadly, that ministries can become more important than the reason they were begun.

So, when I feel hurried, or distracted, or too much demand from "out there", I remind myself of this quote from the beautiful Eucharistic meditation book, "Amazing Nearness" by Tadeusz Dajczer.

  "St Augustine’s purification was severe. Hippo, into which he had put so much loving effort, had collapsed. What had taken years to build was destroyed...such was the fate of one of the greatest saints and church fathers". (pg37) "Humanly speaking, everything was destroyed. Yet, God never looses; maybe the destruction of Hippo was necessary so St Augustine would find deeper union with God. Christ did not shed His Precious Blood for Hippo, He did it for His beloved Augustine."

I pray I always remember the true meaning for it all, union with God who died for my sins. Who does not want my good works, but wants me. Who purifies me sometimes very painfully, because I begin to stray without even knowing it. Who desires me to belong totally to Him and never lose sight of why I began doing this work, to bring others to Him through  His mercy and love.

"Lord, may I each day, keep my eyes on You no matter what others ask of me. May I prayerfully consider each thing I do making sure it is not my will or another's but Yours. I thank you for the grace of my healing and my experience of you that night long ago, which sustains me and gives the courage to continue.  Jesus, I trust in You!"  Amen

 

 

Gratitude

Sometimes when life is difficult, it can be hard to recognize our many blessings. We can get caught up in our hurts and turn inward, blinded to the many blessings we have in our life.

Each day, I pray for a grateful heart, to trust in God no matter how things appear, and to do His will, "just for today," or even just for this minute. We fail, but that is why He left us the beautiful sacrament of reconciliation.

Is Your Heart Grateful For God's Bestowals? "A cry of gratitude comes forth from the depth of a heart that is full of awe before the reality of God's bestowal." The Two Pillars, pg.7)

 

 

 

 

 

Have not read this book? If not you should!

Here is a review I wrote for it when it first came out.

Yesterday, Hurricane Ernesto hit up here and I was in all day.  It was the first "rest" since my son Mike left for Iraq and I found myself emotionally exhausted. I spent the afternoon on the couch with The Two Pillars.

What an amazing gift you have given me!  While reading it, I could not help thinking how true it all is, for I relate so much with both the prodigal son and David.  God freed me from the depths of depair, crushing my pillar so that I could come to know Him. I know what is written to be true from my experience of healing from my abortion and it continues to amaze me how the spirituality fits into our ministry to women and men who have had an abortion, so deeply.

It is so humbling and such a gift to be reading it and even more of a miracle of His mercy that you would ask me to write something.

These books are so convicting while at the same time so comforting.  They do fill me with gratitude for the gift of faith He has given me, in spite of myself.

Thanks!
Theresa Bonopartis
Co-author with The Sisters of Life, "Entering Canaan, A Sacramental Journey into an Inheritance of Mercy", a post abortion ministry
Director, Lumina, Hope & Healing after Abortion, a program of Good Counsel Homes

Just want everyone to know..this is my personal blog and it will be moving to the Entering Canaan site shortly and replaced by a lumina blog, so if you see it is not here anymore catch it at http://divinemercy4me.wordpress.com/

What Was Your Name?

 Very Beautiful!

Illusion

"When things seem all wrong trust me anyway!"

So many postabortive people base their healing on the way they are feeling, on emotions and what makes them feel good.  However, true healing comes when no matter how we feel, we trust in the unconditional love and mercy of God who saves us and died for our sins.

In the healing process ,there will be days when you feel great and days when you feel like you are at step one again.  But, if you are learning, if you are praying, if you are trusting in God, you can rest assured that He is working withing you whether you "feel" it or not. Healing is not a feeling.  Healing is an unwavering trust in He who is mercy Himself, who provides through various means (retreats, counseling, spiritual direction) the tools you need to work through the issues surrounding your abortion and move you to Himself - the only true healer!

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Are you or someone you know suffering from the aftermath of an abortion?
There is hope.  There is healing.  Visit the Lumina Website for more information. 

Why I March

I actually am not at the March for Life this year. In 25 years this is only the third time I have missed it, but I have been contemplating why I do march.

The March has really changed over the years. When I first began going, it was very much a prayerful event. Not that we do not pray now, but it was silence and prayer, even on the buses. No chatter with friends, but an offering of solidarity with the unborn. In those days, we also used to get some decent media coverage, but as they say, “that was long ago.”

It has been years since the March for Life was really covered by the main stream media. Most people would have no idea that tens of thousands of people descend on Washington, DC to mark the infamous decision of Roe vs. Wade on January 22^nd each year. Isn't it amazing how small groups of people get large media coverage if they are seen as politically correct but, huge crowds such as the ones at the March are ignored. But, I digress. 

I think my reasons for marching have changed as much as the March itself over the years. I remember the trepidation of my first March. I was a woman filled with shame and guilt from an abortion I had as a teen. I wanted to “make up” for my abortion. It took me years to realize I never could do that, but I did not have to - because Jesus had done that for me. I was afraid of being found out that day, and mortified at the pictures of aborted babies, especially those that reminded me of what I saw on the day of my abortion when my unborn son was delivered in my bed from a saline abortion.

As my healing progressed, I marched because of the injustice of abortion. There were not many of us speaking out at that time.  I suppose I wanted to speak out and be accepted. I wanted to let people know how bad abortion was.  After a time, I headed a bus, and then once it was founded, I participated in Silent No More which I still do when I attend. I love being with my sisters and brothers in Christ who have a unique understanding of abortion and are filled with gratitude for the mercy and forgiveness God has shown us, but as the years have come and gone, so my reasons continue to change.

Thinking about it now that I have been working in post abortion ministry for over twenty years, my marching has pretty much evolved and has nothing much to do with me. I do not feel a need to speak out, nor, thanks be to God, do I feel guilt and shame. Yes, I am sorry for my abortion, but Jesus in His mercy has freed me. I know I am a sinner and will always be a sinner in need of His mercy, and I am grateful for that knowledge. Of course, that does not mean I go out and intentionally sin, but it does mean when I sin I am not shocked, but go to the font of mercy I know is waiting for me and then try again.

Nowadays, I march so that we who have had abortions speak for ourselves and our children instead of others speaking for us. I also march for those unable to march for themselves. I march for the women and men still locked in feeling unforgiven or those who can’t or are not called to speak out.

I march for the couples we serve in our adverse diagnosis retreats, and the many siblings I have met from our sibling retreats who suffer because of a parent’s abortion. I march for Jim, and Judith, for Chris, and Gregg, for Linda and for all who pass through our doors and beyond.

Mostly, I march because I know the great mercy and love God has for each of us, that He died on the cross for our sins and that in the end His desire is our healing as is the desire of the unborn, so that one day, we can all be together in eternity.

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Are you or someone you know suffering from the wounds of abortion?
There is hope. There is healing.  Please visit the Lumina website for more information.

Click here for stories of mercy, forgiveness, and healing.