Reclaiming Our Children

Facing Life Head On - Sibling Survivors

The show we did with Brad Mattes for "Facing Life Head On"

 

The Loss of Two Charlottes

Rest In Peace

When I read articles like this one in Rolling Stone, it makes me so angry. I know that by stating things like this they are throwing many who are suffering into deeper despair, and they are the ones telling lies.

I am not going to get into all the lies here, because we are going to post some things about them in the coming days, but waking up to this story made me even more angry.

Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it responding to this junk instead of putting all my energy into reaching out to those like the Charlottes, and letting them know there is hope and healing. I guess we are called in some ways to do both. 

I know for me prayer is key. A clinging to Jesus knowing we do have the truth and He has already freed us. It is only through HIs grace that we can fight the good fight.

So, two Charlottes were lost in the past week due, at least in part, to abortion, and yet, the pro aborts keep saying there is no such things a post abortion stress.

If you are suffering because of an abortion you are not crazy or alone...reach out for help. Many have gone before you and can assist you in your healing.

As for these two women, I know there are those who would say, they comitted suicide, but the truth is only God knows what happened before they died and only He can judge them.

My prayer are with them and their families.

May they be united with their babies and yay the souls of Charlotte Dawson and Charlotte Coursier rest in peace!

Charlotte Dawson, Abortion, Suicide, & the Grace of God

Charlotte Dawson, a well-known former judge on Austraila's "Next Top Model," was found dead in her apartment on February 21st at 47 years old.  What is missing from the media accounts of Charlotte's tragic death is something she revealed in her book, Air Kiss and Tell, that she had an abortion with her then husband, Olympic swimmer, Scott Miller, because he did not want anything to distract him from the lead up to the Sydney Olympics.

After her abortion Charlotte expalined, "I felt a shift... maybe it was hormonal, but I felt the early tinges of what I can now identify as my first experience with depression."

What follows appears to be years of dealing with depression and suicidal attempts. Although not unfamiliar to many of us who have experienced abortion, it is something that continues to be denied by a society which will not acknowledge the depth of destruction that abortion causes to many those who have had one.

I know from my own abortion experience, the temptation to suicide and the fight against the idea of it is very real. The abscence of hope and the life of despair makes you feel you are damned to hell and you are lefting hating yourself. Any negative experience was just a reflection and confirmation of all I felt to be true, and the despair would go deeper. Depression was my constant companion for many years.

Although many attempts were made to get someone to listen to my feelings, I was always told it had nothing to do with my abortion, which left me feeling even more isolated and crazy. I always knew my abortion had changed me, but yet I was being told by "professionals" that it was not true.

It took the unconditional love of those who would finally listen to me to validate what I was experiencing and support me in my journey to healing. It took me coming to know Jesus Christ, who loved me in spite of my abortion, or as Cardinal O'Connor used to say, because of it. It took a surrender and a trust in the one love that could free me from the bondage I found myself in, along with learning the tools I needed to heal.

I needed to learn my personal abortion connectors so that I would not react to things in the present because of my abortion experience. It took me learning that every relationship argument was not an ending or abandonment, but that people could just disagree.

It took me learning to reach out to those who understood when I wanted to isolate and fall into despair no matter how hard it was for me or how loudly I was telling myself not to. It took me becoming a new person in Christ and learning that He would never abandon me no matter how it looked or what I felt.  In time, I learned this was true. Through the grace of God I was freed.

I feel sad that Charlotte probably never found the same freedom. That she was locked in the prison of a past abortion, living with her despair for years, obviously trying to hide it and fill the emptiness instead of being given the opportunity to grieve and forgive and heal.

I pray Charlotte, that in your last moments you met Jesus who is rich in mercy and understands better than we do what happened.  May you rest in the peace of Christ along with your child.

If you are suffering because of a past abortion, please reach out. There is hope and healing, not because of who we are, but because of who He is.

Here is something I wrote while going through that time of hoplesseness and despair.

Where Mercy Meets Faithfulness

It is the point of healing. The joining of ultimate pain with ultimate love.  An act of complete trust and surrender, a climbing on the cross with Christ there to join mercy with faithfulness.

I can remember the struggles of faithfulness, the searching in the dark to find God, the holding on to His Word because I had tried everything else and I longed to be healed.  The movement in spite of the pain, the darkness, the fear, because there was nothing to loose…there could be no greater hell than the one I had made for myself.

I begged and pleaded with God reminding Him of His promises, in spite of me. I worked at chipping my remains away, fighting myself so I could reach a complete surrender.

There were many times when I needed encouragement to continue, my temptations and bouts with despair. Times when I felt I couldn’t go on, but God provided the people necessary to give me the push that I needed, the words I had to hear, the strength to hang on.

I continually pleaded for the saint’s intercession and especially entrusted myself to Mary and Joseph.

And finally, one day alone with Jesus, because He is the only one who can heal, I trusted enough to climb on the cross, to be one with the pain and love that exists there and to allow that love to fill the deep wounds that I had.

There, His mercy met my faithfulness and I finally felt healed of my abortion. I suddenly understood so much of scripture. So much of it was then fulfilled in me, such a gift given. I felt like Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross. Immense love had taken on immense sin and had washed away its stains.

To be sure, the process of healing from abortion is painful and delicate, but with the right help and trust in God even if not “felt," it is possible. Jesus in His mercy longs to heal us…we in our faithfulness need to persevere.

Theresa Bonopartis

 

Turned Around for Good - the Amazing Grace of Forgiveness

This moved me to tears and I believe is a reflection of the forgiveness our children who were aborted and are "living in the Lord".

 

 

 Thank you Carrie and your mom for being a reflection o fth emercy and love of God!

Dallas Men's Day

God's Unfathomable Mercy

 

Today is the anniversary of the death of Dr Bernard Nathanson...an amazing example of an conversion and the mercy of God. Please pray for him and for all those in need of healing from participation in abortion and if you have not already, do yourself a favor and read his book, The Hand of God.

 

 

 

A Cry Without a Voice

One of my favorite memorials to the unborn is A Cry without a Voice headed by Rebecca Porter, my friend from Operation Outcry.

My son Joshua has been hangin' with Rebecca from the beginning as this powerful remembrance is moved to various locations to place a name on those lost to abortion.

Here is a great video showing the display...

 

The 'A Cry Without a Voice Project' was to
represent three 'cries' associated with abortion.

1.  The first cry is the unborn child(ren) in the womb crying out for LIFE.
2.  Second, are the mothers who silently grieve year after year and have no voice due to the guilt and shame they carry. 
3.  The third cry represents the fathers who have no voice in whether their child will have a destiny thanks to a 'woman's right' to choose.

As someone who believes that God's desire is to reunite the family spiritually, I think perhaps it is so beautiful to me because it encompasses the whole family - mother, father, and child.

If you are grieving from a past abortion, maybe you would like to add your child...

Never Too Late

Today over at Life News, Sarah Terzo, a pro-life liberal who runs ClinicQuotes.com, a web site devoted to exposing the abortion industry, authored an aritcle entitled, "Woman Defending Her Abortion: My Unborn Baby’s Soul Agreed to be Killed."

Terzo writes, in part...

"There are many good reasons for pro-lifers of faith to familiarize themselves with secular reasoning against abortion. Christian pro-lifers often cite religious texts and doctrines to oppose abortion.

And while 'God hates abortion' may be a compelling argument for fellow Christians, we need to recognize that pro-choicers can use religion too. People’s interpretations of scripture differ, of course. And apart from scripture, 'my personal religious beliefs' can be manipulated by a creative person to justify practically anything.

I stumbled across an example of this in the book Our Choices, Our Lives: Unapologetic Writings on Abortion. I was reading the story of a woman who had three abortions. The woman, who gave her name as Chandra Silva, was a rape survivor who had her first abortion as a teenager when she was well into her second trimester.

Her baby, at this point, was highly developed.  Chandra describes the injection of prostaglandin, and the pain she experienced as her body tried to expel her child:

 I felt the need to use the bathroom when something started descending and my mother, who was trying to help me to the corner store style bathroom, kept forcing an orange bedpan underneath me. At one point, in desperation, I glanced between my legs and I saw a head. It was dark and bluish, and seemed to have little dark hairs. In that split-second instant there was a nurse on the floor searching between my legs. She was in a bit of panic herself, fumbling with gloves and clamps, then whisking away the bedpan contents.

Read the Rest of Terzo's piece here.   

 
While I do understand what Sarah is trying to get across, I think anyone who has experienced abortion would say that there is much more going on here than prochoice or prolife reasoning. There is the very real trauma of abortion!

Chandra obviously had a saline abortion during her second trimester of pregnancy. You wonder, why did she wait ? Since she was raped and so young did she even know she was pregnant? Was this first abortion something she really wanted to do or was she coerced? We really do not know, but judging from the circumstances I am sure it was a complicated decision.

I know all too well the trauma of a saline abortion and seeing your own child. After hours of labor you give birth to a dead baby. Countless numbers of women who have experienced this feel damned to hell with no way back, and so their behaviors reflect that which is their reality. Denial and rationalization become your companions, and thank God for them! In fact, according to the article, Chandra even says it. She "checks out"...the abortion "requires it," "desires it."

There is no way you can look at a traumatic abortion, especially one which is late term where you see your child, unless you first come to experience and know the love of God. It is impossible to survive otherwise.

In keeping with the theme, Sarah is right, Christian religious arguments are not going to work. The mantra is to avoid God at all costs. Someone already feeling damned to hell does not need reenforcement.

Instead of preaching about abortion being wrong because of God, we need to be a reflection of God and of His mercy and love. It is through this reflection that those who experience such a trauma aquire hope of healing and become able, little by little, to look at the reality of what has happened.

In the Gospel of Life, Blessed Pope John Paul II tells those of us who have experienced abortion: "... do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and His mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life. "

Lastly, it is never too late to reach someone like Chandra. I have been blessed to witness  countless times women who have spoken as she has turn to Christ and obtain His healing peace. No one is beyond God's grace.

So, maybe the question should be not if prolifers should speak of God and abortion, but instead that they reflect God's mercy and forgiveness and healing. If we do that, even the most hardened sinners are known to come home!

 

*******

 

Are you or someone you know suffering from the aftermath of an abortion? There is hope.  There is healing.  Visit the Lumina Website for more information. 

Family Life Conference NY

Following God's WIll

 Trust in the Lord with all of your heart

And lean not unto your own understanding.

In all of your ways, acknowledge Him

And He shall direct your paths.

Sounds so easy doesn’t it? Just trust in the Lord and all will be well. He will show you what to do according to His will, not yours. The trouble is, we often do not see His will clearly and so struggle to look for a sign that shows us which way to go.

Sometimes we can think we are being led one way, then all of a sudden the thing we were so sure of clearly becomes the thing we know we are not supposed to do.

Recently, someone asked me what I wanted to do. I easily said what I would love to be doing with my life, but I have come to know that what I desire is very often not the will of God for me. In fact, many times, what He wants and what I want are totally opposite!

Of course, I am not speaking of things like sin, but about direction in what it is I should be doing.

I have found that very often, I just need to “let go” and let it play out. To relax, and yes, to “trust in the Lord."  To kick myself out of His way, so that I do not obstruct His plans, and He may work in my life.

This kind letting go can be scary, especially in the beginnings of healing from abortion. So often we felt so out of control it is difficult to allow anyone, even God Himself, to “direct" our path. Yet, with counsel, prayer, and faith, in doing this, we will come to know, that no matter how scary, no matter now opposite our personal desires, no matter what - if we trust, pray for, and follow the will of God, all will be well!

There is nowhere else in heaven or on earth where we will be more at peace!