There is a saying that the Elliot Institute uses that I find to be so true, that many women are socially aborted before they ever step foot into a clinic.
Threats of rejection by boyfriends, spouses, family members, and friends are often the motivating factors in making the decision to abort. Thoughts of abandonment and alienation by loved ones, often too painful to bear, make it seem easier to choose between those familiar and an unborn child never seen, or easier to believe that the child does not even exist yet.
But, the reality of abortion sets in with birthdays never celebrated, hugs never given or received, anniversary dates, and an ever-present void surrounded with guilt, shame, and grief.
Social abortion however, does not end with the death of the unborn child. As “OK” as abortion is supposed to be, it still carries a stigma. No one likes to speak of it unless it is in broad terms or political ones - defense or objection to abortion itself - but speaking about the personal pain of abortion is avoided like the plague. People are just not comfortable with it. Inside their hearts everyone knows that a life of an innocent has been taken.
I have gotten into “discussions” with well meaning prolifers who feel a need to remind those of us who are post abortive of the severity of our sin. I have seen the use of saying such as “abortion is homicide" and “abortion is murder” do more harm than good. Many find it condemning and judgmental. I have been chided for speaking out against using those phrases, being told to be careful or else I will “turn some pro lifers off." But, I wonder how many souls are being killed by those very same words?
Sometimes the prevalent message still seems to be “we know better than you…let us do this.” I have come to find that is not true. The aborting of women by both sides is just as lethal, perhaps even more so, because it kills the soul, the life source to living in heaven.
“Freaky Ally” wrote to me once. She was 15 years old, distraught over an abortion her mother made her have. I kept thinking of Ally seeing someone wearing a t-shirt with “abortion is homicide" on it. I think it would be enough to send her over the edge. No one needs to remind her she killed her child. She lives with it each day. It is her baby that she will never hold in this life.
I have also been told that it is not the responsibility of pro lifers to guard speech for post abortive people because they need to proclaim the evil of abortion. Perhaps they need to be reminded of the magnitude of people abortion effects. Everyone knows someone, everyone is touched, post abortive people are everywhere. While the evil of abortion always needs to be proclaimed, the way in which it is needs to be considered.
The killing of life can come in many forms. Although abortion can never be justified and is always wrong, the killing of hope or the life of a soul is also offensive to God. Perhaps before passing judgment on others, we need to look at whom we are aborting in their hearts.