About those times when you feel like you are moving backwards on your road to healing...
We all have them. Those times when we feel we are moving backwards instead of forwards on our journey of healing. Times when those temptations and bouts with despair show their ugly heads speaking to us of our sin and trying to convince us the mercy and forgiveness of God is just a hoax. So, what do you do when you find yourself in this all-too-familiar pit, when you feel derailed?
So often healing is based on "feelings." The "high" of a retreat, the "signs" we see from God that He is with us (gifts for sure), our perceived notion that we somehow are responsible for our goodness, etc., etc. The truth is in healing we may feel good at times, but the reality of true healing is that when we do not feel good we still believe and know that God forgives us and that His mercy is real.
Not easy, especially when we feel tossed about in the storm of our post abortion connectors. That is why it is so important to have a good support system around you that can bring you the light in your bouts of darkness. People who understand the dynamics of healing and can accompany you on your journey as well as prayer.
It is no secret that many saints lived in darkness. Mother Terese spoke of not feeling the presence of God for 50 years! Imagine that! 50 years! And yet she still believed and trusted even in her darkness. We must also.
I have heard some people say if you are tossed around you do not have faith, but the truth is, having faith in spite of being tossed around shows true healing. Hanging on in the storm because you know in your heart the love of God and His promises and you believe.
So, when we feel like we are moving backwards, we need to trust that God is just bringing us through another phase of healing and purifying us to trust even deeper. We need to seek out those who can help us in the form of counseling, spiritual direction, or a ministry of people who are knowledgeable about post abortive healing, and mostly, we need to continue to trust in the love and mercy of Jesus Christ who came to call sinners like us!
Jesus, I trust in you!
