Reclaiming Our Children

So, What's Your Red Hot Button?

No doubt about it, we all have our hot button issues, whether we have had an abortion or not.  Very often, however, after the trauma of an abortion experience, there are certain things that are triggered  in us related to our abortion that can be very painful. In a pamphlet I wrote for Lumina, I call them "Abortion Connectors."

I have a couple of big ones.

1. Abandonment 
2. People who are unreasonable, negative, and controlling.

Now, I realise if someone abandons a person they care about or exhibits such a controlling behavior it is their problem, but as much as I hate to admit it, after over 40 years, at times it becomes my problem because I allow them to get to me and  take my peace. It is particularly hard when these things happen with people of faith people who profess to respect the dignity of others.

It is not hard to see why these would be triggers for me. My dad both abandoned me and was controlling in a negative way. He kicked me out of the house as a teen and pushed me into a corner so that I felt I had no choice but to have the abortion he was pressuring me to go through. I was under his total control and experienced coercion and abandonment by someone who was supposed to love me.

I have gotten much better with these things over the years. In fact, most times I am able to detect the feelings coming on, put them in their proper place and move on. I try to keep my eyes on Christ who I know never abandones me, or controls me, but allows me my free will and guides me by His word.  He provides His grace in the sacraments. He is my rock. But still, there are times when I  jump on that unhealthy bandwagon and someone really gets to me.

I believe it is the devil's way to try to distract me from the work. Thanks be to God, I have some great supports and instead of isolating like I would have years ago, I reach out for spiritual direction and ask friends to pray.  A wonderful holy priest recently told me, "It is this very suffering that I am sure brings so many souls to healing."

In the midst of the storm it is sometimes hard to see that, and so I am so grateful for those who help me to cling to that which in my heart I know is true, even when I am bouncing all over the place.

The beginning and end of all things is my trust in Jesus Christ and my relationship with  Him. I know I am called to pray for these people, who at times do not even know what damage they cause, and I know I too may be doing the same thing to someone else without knowing it. Sadly, we are all human with many weaknesses. It is particularly sad when you try to tell someone and they just do not care, and so prayers are the only answer as you cling to Christ.

I have come a long way, but sometimes it is still very hard when someone presses those buttons over and over again. My solace is to always remember the cross, the sacrifice made there for our sins and the mercy shown to others in spite of the pain Jesus was feeling. It reminds me to cling to the night many years ago when He touched my soul on that cross and brought me an intimate healing that no one can take from me, which I am eternally grateful for.

So, although those red hot buttons can make me go nuts for a while, in the end my focus is on the One who sets me free, even if there is still some work to be done. In my falls from grace in the midst of the turmoil, I am blessed to know of and be able to go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.To begin anew and pray for the grace to stay steadfast in the midst of another's weakness, as I pray others would be able to do if I was the cause of their pain.

Jesus, I trust in You!

Hopeline Post Abortion Conference

Great day today at the Hopeline Post Abortion Conference put together by Linda Cochran of Forgiven & Set Free and Rosalie Talley.

I did a workshop on "The Effect of Abortion on Siblings.". After doing retreat days for 5 years we are ready to do our first weekend retreat March 13-15.

For those of you who attended and are looking for the articles I mentioned here are the links:

The "Defend Women" article written by a sibling is here.

The one on Mark Ruffalo is here.

And don't forget to check out our sibling section here.

Loved meeting you all...great day! Thanks Linda & Rosalie!

Planned Parenthoods Fantasy Land

Planned Parenthood Abortion Video Is Straight Out of Fantasyland

For the real story, check out videos by Live Action or talk to someone who's been there 

Theresa Bonopartis (10)

 

Jason-Taellious-CC

I just came across a video on Planned Parenthood's website, "In-Clinic Abortion Procedure,” that has been deceiving girls and women since it was posted in 2010. The video, which appears to be aimed at teenagers, attempts to explain what will happen when you choose to terminate a pregnancy. It may have been produced in reaction to some of the hidden camera videos filmed by Live Action to expose Planned Parenthood's exploitation of girls' vulnerability, blatant lies to "sell" the abortion option, and the facilitation of sexual abuse, statutory rape and trafficking for prostitution by failing to report the criminals to authorities.

The opening shot features smiling faces. Really? No matter how strongly "clients" may feel about the legality and morality of abortion, there are no smiles on the faces of abortion clients. The whole scene is unrealistic. In fact, I got the feeling that the actors and filmmakers had run into the houka-smoking caterpillar from "Alice in Wonderland" on their way into "the clinic" and inhaled the air around him too deeply. The scene bears no resemblance to the Planned Parenthood experience of the thousands of women I have worked with in post-abortion ministry.

The rest is here

Sharing On Radio

The Silent No More Awareness Campaign will be taking part in "Cradle My Heart" radio hosted by friend, Kim Ketola beginning this coming weekend.

Check it out here.

Cradle My Heart always has great guests. It is definitely worth it to check out past shows and downloads!

great resources fo rmen as well

http://cradlemyheart.org/2013/07/22/helping-men-take-heart-after-abortion/

Announcing Sibling Weekend

Words of a sibling regarding our retreat days which we began 5 years ago...now on March 13-15 we are blessed to be having our first weekend retreat for siblings. Flyer below.

It is difficult to put into words the great peace and comfort that I received when I participated in the Day of Prayer and Healing for Siblings. Meeting six other retreatants who knew personally the pain and grief of losing a sibling to abortion made me feel less alone in my loss.

As a child,I can remember feeling like someone was missing from my family. During my teen years, I pushed those thoughts away because it seemed not true orpossible. Six years ago, when I learned
my mom had an abortion four years before I was born, suddenly everything that didn’t make sense to me came into focus. I also instantly missed my sibling and instantly cried tears of grief.

My mom felt the child she lost was a boy and she named him John Andrew.I had wanted and prayed for a sibling my whole life and now I realized that God had answered my every prayer. The Day of Prayer and Healing last March provided me with a whole day to just be with my brother in the Communion of Saints and to talk about him with others who understood my pain and cared. The group was a nice mixture of men and women andsomething that helped me so much was the vulnerable tears the men shared over their pain and loss. Being with the group I felt safe and secure.

Never before was I so struck thinking to myself, that this day retreat is a tangible sign that abortion is not a private matter between a woman and her doctor. I would recommend this retreat to anyone who lost a sibling to abortion.

Words could never express mygratitude to Lumina for hosting this "Entering Canaan" Day of Prayer and Healing for Siblings. The wisdom and courage of this post-abortion healing ministry, gave me a glimpse of God’s love. - JAMS

Prayerful Remembrance Harriman NY

Radical love

One of the blogs I try to read..
Love this...so applicable to post abortion healing. Yes, abortion is always wrong and we must always say it but we must always proclaim Gods mercy as well knowing they area child of God. Calling those who have had abortions murderers is not going to bring them back to Christ. we are ALL sinners in need of His mercy!

http://www.markmallett.com/blog/the-thin-line-between-mercy-heresy-part-ii/

A Sure Hope

 

There has been a lot of progress over the years, in understanding the impact of abortion.  I personally, will always be so grateful to the Elliot Institute for understanding exactly how I felt and putting it into words before I knew how to.

I also am grateful for post abortion research that increases awareness of the many factors which influence an abortion decision.  Pressure from boyfriends, or husband, parents and even doctors are often a contributing factor, and although there may be some women who abort for no apparent reason, I have found that most people make the decision because of some outside influence.

Abortion is always wrong, but it does help to understand the reasons and the fact that no matter what the who’s, how’s and whys, abortion is never a solution, but the beginning of a whole new set of problems.

In spite of this progress however, there are still times when those post abortive feel stuck in the middle of the debate. The majority of those who favor abortion still fear acknowledging the harm to women and pain and suffering they go through.  They continue to deny the existence of post abortion stress and blame it on other things, as if killing your own child were not enough reason to suffer. They refuse to accept the suffering as a direct result of an abortion.

There are also pro lifers who fear by allowing the suffering to end or by showing compassion and mercy to those who have had an abortion, you would somehow be saying abortion is ok. For some reason, they think by showing mercy, the pain will end too soon, or maybe, will not be felt at all.

Ironically, this can apply not only to the mothers, but to the aborted baby as well.  Many pro choicers think the unborn feel no pain in spite of evidence to the contrary, and some pro lifers believe that heaven is closed to aborted children, as if God’s Mercy can be limited.  In truth, in many ways, mother and child are still joined in the craziness of the societal battle of abortion when instead, they need to be reunited in the God of life.

I once attended a mass in which the priest focused on the message of “hope."  He spoke of this “hope” being rooted in reality. That it is not a wishing like earthly hope, but a knowing. A knowing, because of the life, death, resurrection and ascension, of Jesus Christ.

In the Catholic faith, we who are post abortive have the beautiful Encyclical written by Pope John Paul II, “Evangelium Vitae," “The Gospel of Life." I am certain, like me, many women and men searched it s pages to find the words of the Holy Father to those of us who had aborted a child. What a gift of understanding, compassion and mercy it was! It was as if he knew everything…our difficulty in the decision, our pain and guilt after, while still standing firm to the wrong of abortion. Like the God of Mercy he represents,  the Pope also addressed our desire for knowledge as to the care of our children.

As we dealt with our sin, there was a fear to think of our children’s fate and the possibility of their closure to heaven because they were not baptized, but Saint Pope John Paul the II assured us even of this.

 “To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child.”

A “sure hope” not found in earthly terms, but in reality. The reality of Jesus Christ who is Mercy Himself.

Some people unfortunately have trouble with the thought of our children in heaven. They fear that if we know they are in heaven it will somehow make abortion okay, or not as painful, as if the thought of our child living with Christ makes the killing justified.

They seek to close off heaven to the unborn as if a baptism of blood, in their innocence, where not allowed by God. They reject the comfort it may give to those who have participated in abortion, fearful that this comfort would make them believe abortion is all right.

With Saint Pope John Paul II, I say to those people, “Be Not Afraid!"  No one knows more than a mother's heart, no matter what she says, that abortion is wrong. It is their child, tied by a motherly bond even abortion cannot dissolve.

And the thought of their children in heaven brings hope. Not a hope that focuses on them or reduces the seriousness of their sin, but a sure hope in Jesus, and His mercy, allowing them to be reunited with their unborn children.

Sanctioning people to a life without hope is not something of God who sent His son into the world for the forgiveness of all sin. Even the sin of abortion.

I assure you, there will still be suffering. The thought of a child in heaven does not negate the act of abortion, nor the loss of that child to this world. But it does accentuate the Mercy of our God. A God who desires the salvation of all sinners, even women and men who participate in abortion. If they can get to heaven, why would this same God omit their children?  He wouldn’t.  As another translation of the Gospel of Life states , they are “living in the Lord."

Post abortive people do not need others to make sure they suffer, they suffer enough on their own. You may not always see it, they may cover up or hide in denial, guilt, shame or maybe even arrogance, but it is there, for God alone, who knows our hearts to judge.

May we all look to the mercy and grace of God that alone saves us all from sin. May we not limit His goodness, who died on the cross for our salvation, and may we never take for granted the remission of our sins but humbly follow Him with gratitude for the mercy He has shown us all.

Be not afraid!

(reprint)

Are the Souls of Children Who've Been Aborted With the Lord?

Aleteia- Theresa Bonopartis 11/1/15

 

 

The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace (Book of Wisdom 1:1-3).

I have always felt as though I have an army of souls of unborn babies supporting me in my work, interceding before God. I pray to them always to obtain the graces I need to do this work of leading souls to Christ and healing. In the beginning, it was just my own son whose presence I felt, but as the years have passed, I know there are millions of souls, a whole army, behind the work, constantly interceding and praying for the healing and reconciliation of their families.

Many, I now know by name. I even pray in front of clinics where I know they have died. It is no longer “babies die here,” but Sally’s baby, Chris, died here, or Tom’s baby, Mary. There is a personal connection to both the child and the parent.

 

The rest is here