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Did I ever mention what a fantastic group of people there are from St Gregory the Great in Harrison, whose respect life group faithfully put out every one of my newsletters!
Thanks be to God for people like this, who do not seek anything but work from their generous hearts!
I am so grateful for each one of them!
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Good article today in Christianity Today.
The Secret Shame of Abortion in the Church - Julie Roys
When Jackie sent an email to her church asking about its post-abortion recovery group, she used an alias and created a new account to hide her identity. Even now, 11 years after her abortion, and after sharing her story to dozens of other women, Jackie asked me not to use her real name. She still hasn’t told her daughter or many people at church that she’s had an abortion. “It’s just such a shameful secret,” she said.
Abortion is difficult for almost any post-abortive woman to discuss. Pro-choice activists attribute this reluctance to a pervasive stigma that stems from society’s “shame-based message that abortion is wrong.” They try to remove this shame by defending abortion, saying unborn babies are not persons or convincing women that abortion actually did them, or society, a favor.
However, in the church, we face the challenge of upholding the sanctity of life, while simultaneously ministering to women who feel overwhelming shame about their abortions. Our response is not to deny the sin and death inherent in abortion. Instead, we point women to the healing found in a community centered around the One who redeems us from all sin.
The rest is here
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Aleteia-February 26, 2015
Theresa Bonopartis
A recent anonymous post, “I Owe My Life to My Mother’s Abortion,” on The Huffington Post Women website, reflected the common feelings and conflicts of those who have lost a sibling to abortion. As counselors, we see the complex thoughts and feelings surrounding the knowledge of a sibling’s termination just coming to the surface as we begin to offer hope and healing to those experiencing this loss.
It is not uncommon for surviving siblings to defend their mother’s decision as this woman does: “I’m embarrassed to admit that the admission shocked and shook me,” she writes as if having feelings about her sibling is unacceptable. She then goes on to rationalize her mother's decision in an attempt to make the abortion okay. Running through a litany of “what ifs,” and wondering if the child would have loved her mother as much as she does. But, perhaps most upsetting is the author’s statement, “Nor could I imagine her alternative life if she hadn’t had the abortion – a life that didn’t involve me.”
It is hard for most of us to imagine what it would feel like to question your very existence due to something as horrific as abortion. It has to be heart-wrenching to find out that the woman who is your mother, who protects and defends you in life, actually took the life of a brother or sister. The quest to understand how this could be is a reasonable reaction. This is your mother whom you love.
What those facing this new knowledge need to learn is that they can understand what happened and why, they can forgive and show mercy and love, but they do not have to condone the abortion. It is a tough one, especially when you think your very existence is in question, as most post-abortive siblings do.
The rest is here
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April 12th -19th is Abortion Coercion Week.
Check out the details at the Elliot Institute and join us in raising awareness that most abortion are coerced and unwanted. A great list of suggestions and materials are available to help educate your community, as well as a free PDF copy of one of my favorite books, The Jericho Plan, on reaching out to heal those who have experienced abortion. A perfect resource for your pastor!
Here is an article I wrote for Abortion Coercion Week:
I Can Tell You What A Coerced Abortion Feels Like ...
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"I Can Tell You What A
Coerced Abortion Feels Like ..."
By Theresa Bonopartis
I can certainly tell you what a coerced abortion feels like. I
remember it as clearly as if it happened yesterday. I was a
pregnant teenager kicked out of the house, isolated and alone.
Nowhere to go, no one to help, no money, no job, nothing.
I remember the desperation , feeling backed into a corner, along
with the fear that those I loved, and were supposed to love me,
were going to reject me further if I did not do what they wanted.
It was like having your air supply cut off, slowly making you die
to your desire of giving your baby life.
Day after day, as the pressure to abort grew, so did the
desperation, until fighting for what felt to you was survival,
you finally gave in because you honestly felt there was no other
choice.
For others the circumstances may have been different, but much of
the feelings are the same. A husband who threatens to leave, a
boyfriend who proclaims love, and speaks of another child when
you are “ready.” The pressures of society, money, jobs,
school ¦ the silent coercions that place fear in your heart,
weaken your will or worse yet, do not allow you to think things
through.
Many women do not even realize they were coerced. It can be
unbearable to see the truth of someone you love, so you would
rather convince yourself it was your idea.
There is a quote in The Jericho Plan by David Reardon. He says
that most women are socially aborted before they ever step foot
into a clinic. I believe that is true. This great ‘freedom of
choice,†has often left us with no choice. Emotionally aborted,
we then do the unthinkable in participating in the deaths of our
own children.
The good news is that this abandonment can often be the very
catalyst that calls us to the heart of Jesus and healing. He who
suffered the ultimate abandonment knows well the suffering of our
hearts, and it is this suffering which allows us to recognize our
dependence on Him.
During this Coerced Abortion Awareness Week (April 27- May 4),
let us also remember the Divine Mercy and a God who calls us to
Himself. As we bring awareness to the horror of coerced abortion,
may we equally bring awareness to Mercy Himself who assures us we
have a “right before others” to trust in His unfathomable mercy,
forgiveness and love.
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"If you forgive men their transgressions,
your heavenly Father will forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men,
neither will your Father forgive your transgressions."
It can be so hard to forgive if we have been coerced into abortion or if those around us did not support us. Just as we often feel we can never be forgiven, we also often times feel like we cannot forgive people who may have abandoned us or forced us to abort our unborn children. We think, how can anyone expect you to do that?
Yet, that is exactly what God asks us to do. Forgive those who “trepass against us”.
I remember how hard it was for me to forgive my dad who pressured me into abortion as a teen. I had to make up mind that I was going to do it, and not once, but over and over and over again. I had to show him the mercy that God had shown me. Chances are, my unforgiveness never really affected my dad, but it tormented me because it separated me from God’s peace.
Not easy I admit, and without constant prayer and the grace of God, impossible. But with His help, in time, I was able to forgive, and that forgiveness gave me peace because I was doing Gods will.
“It is not easy to love with a deep love, which lies in the authentic gift of self. This love can only be learned by penetrating the mystery of God's love. Looking at him, being one with his fatherly heart, we are able to look with new eyes at our brothers and sisters, with an attitude of unselfishness and solidarity, of generosity and forgiveness. All this is mercy!” ( Pope JPII Homily at canonization of St Faustina)
I learned to feel sorrow for my dad instead of anger as my relationship with God grew...I learned to show him the mercy God had shown me, instead of judging him. It took years, but it happened, and in the end God allowed me to be an instrument, through my forgiveness, not my anger, to bring my dad back to Him.
Today think about who you need to forgive in your abortion experience and offer some prayers for that intention.
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Tune in to Sunday Night Prime with Rev. Andrew Apostoli, CFR on Sunday, March 1st at 8:00 PM. I will join Father Andrew to talk about "The Far Reaching Impact of Abort ion." The focus of the show will be on siblings. Don't miss it!
Our very first sibling retreat is right around the corner! It will be directed by Father Fidelis, CFR and have wonderful talks by a sibling who has been working with us for the past 5 years at our sibling days retreats.
Spread the news! Financial assistance is available to those who would like to come.
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Lent is a time when we are called to look at our sinfulness through the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ.
There is a temptation when we look at our sinfulness to get stuck there. We keep the focus on ourselves and beat ourselves up because of our misery. We get stuck in, “I cannot believe I had an abortion,” mode. This, however, is false pride. Why should we be so shocked that we can commit such a sin? Once we turn from the will of God, any sin is possible.
During Lent, we are asked to move beyond that self focus, to focus on the passion of Jesus and His ultimate sacrifice for our sins, even our sin of abortion. It is a time to meditate on His great love for us. As we come to know this love, we do not sacrifice during Lent only because we are told to, but instead, because we cannot help loving Him and wanting to return a sacrifice out of that love.
Today, take a few minutes to sit before a cross and repeat, “Jesus died on the cross for my sins, even my sin of abortion." It is an amazing truth of God's love for you!
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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope. There is Healing. There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at [email protected]
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008
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“Remember you are dust. From dust you come and
to dust you will return. Repent and believe the gospel.”
I have always considered these words to be striking, and to be honest, ones I did not like to hear. Talk about a wake up call! They are a reminder of my vulnerability and mortality, and the fact that this life will one day end and my body will be placed into the ground to decay.
Each year on Ash Wednesday these words echo in my head as the priest makes the sign of the cross on my forehead. It really can be a downer, if not for the fact that I know better things, actually the best things, are yet to come on my demise.
I did not always feel this way. For years I shunned the church, terrified, hiding from my mortality because I thought my death would mean eternity in hell. I seemed to place all of the focus on me, instead of on Him, Jesus Christ, and exactly what Lent and His life meant for us.
Lent is a time for sacrifice and prayer. It's a time to reflect on the ultimate act of love in Jesus Christ dying on the cross for our sins. It took no act of ours to get Him to do it. He willingly suffered and died so that we could come to know His great love and mercy for us. Through the pain and suffering of the cross, I am now also able to see the tremendous love He has for each one of us.
A love that frees us from all of our sins, even the sin of abortion!
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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope. There is Healing. There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at [email protected]
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008
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When I was a teenager I was pressured into an abortion by my dad. Having hidden my pregnancy for over 4 months, my baby was fully formed by the time I underwent a 2nd trimester saline abortion, alone in a hospital room.
With no information about my baby’s development or what I was going to go through, I spent hours in labor before giving birth to a burnt, dead, baby boy lying in the bed next to me. To say it was a life altering experience is an understatement. My life was taken away with that of my son. I will always remember looking down at him, seeing his tiny fingers and toes, and wondering how in the world it was possible to do something like this.
I don’t know why, but I named my son Joshua. It just seemed fitting, that even though I participated in his death, I should name him. My relationship with Joshua, however, was anything but peaceful. Just the thought of him caused me to become overwhelmed with terror. Every reminder condemned me to hell, and I would have visions of him accusing me before God, pointing his finger at me as he pointed out who was responsible for his death. Having done post abortion work for years now, I know that is the experience of countless women and men. There is a terror that exists at the thought of forming a relationship with their unborn children.
I am not sure when this changed for me; although I know it was once I knew the love of God. It made sense that if my child was “living in the Lord” (The Gospel of Life; John Paul II), he would desire my salvation, and instead of condemning me, would be praying for my conversion.
Little by little I forged a relationship with him through prayer. It took time to develop and overcome the guilt and shame, but I knew inside I needed to repair the relationship. I needed to allow myself to love my son and for him to love me in spite of my human feelings of being unforgivable. Most importantly, I knew that was God's desire.
In time, I learned to meet Joshua in the Blessed Sacrament where Jesus united us through His body and blood. Joshua soon became as alive as my sons here on earth.
Years later, God showed his guidance in my work. Having developed a post abortion ministry with The Sisters of Life, we were praying for a name for it. Before the Blessed Sacrament one day, I felt Jesus telling me “Entering Canaan” would be the name. As I went home and read the story of the Israelites journey into Canaan, The Promised Land, I recognized the parallels to healing from abortion, but most striking was that they reached the Promised Land in the book of Joshua.
I know Joshua is leading many into Canaan these days. I know he has an army of aborted babies up in heaven interceding for their parent's healing. We are united in our work and each day I still share my heart with him and Jesus in my daily communion praying for those who come to us.
Now, I never remember Joshua as that dead baby lying in the bed next to me, but as a soul living in the Lord who taught me what true love is.
A living soul totally united to Christ, interceding for me. An advocate before the throne. A gift of our faith. Through my worst sin, I have come to know God and He has shown me His unfathomable mercy. No one can take that away.
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