Reclaiming Our Children

Gospel Of life Radio Show

 

 

Ave Maria radio interview with Janet Morana

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Post Abortive Men's Conference Canada-June 11-13

Reclaiming Our Children

I must admit, sometimes in this abortion debate I feel like I am floating somewhere outside, on the periphery, looking in, while the world dissects and argues about abortion, the unborn, and the women who have abortions.  

For me, as a post-abortive mother, it is much more personal. It is about reclaiming my child.

It is about relationships, family, and my son, who is now “living in the Lord.” (Gospel of Life, Saint JPII).

At seventeen years old, I hid my pregnancy from my parents for over four months. When I finally told them, I was asked to leave the house and forget that I was their daughter. Coming from a Catholic family, it was the one scenario I had not played out in my head.

Staying temporarily at a friend’s, the pressure to abort began. I fought with the baby’s father.  My own father began having my sister call me telling me to have an abortion. With no job, no money, and no place go, in the end, I gave in to his demands.  Like many other women, it was not because of free choice, it was because I felt I had no choice.

Read the rest at Catholic Exchange.

(reprint 2010)

Coerced Abortion Week

From the Elliot Institute

Sunday begins Coerced Abortion Awareness Week. The Elliot Institute will be sharing
the personal stories of those who have experienced a coerced or unwanted abortion: women, men and teens. Here is one story.

"I Was On My Own"

Thirty years ago, I found myself pregnant, divorced and virtually alone. 

The first emotion was that of sheer panic. I only had a small income and was working two jobs. I had a 4-year-old daughter to support. I had no money, no medical insurance, and didn’t realize that there were places to turn to for help.

As I turned to friends and relatives for advice, the whole matter became more confusing. Advice poured in from all sides. I felt like I was being put through the third degree: “What is a divorced woman going to do with such a small income? You already have one child to feed. How will you pay the hospital bills?”

A relative that had an illegal abortion 25 years before talked to me about abortion. She had never been able to have children because of her abortion, but strangely enough, advised me to have
one anyway. After all, it was now legal and “safe.”

I felt like I was in a tailspin. There was no time to think. As I look back, not once did anyone just put their arms around me and ask my feelings or allow me to even have time to have any. Just some positive love and support would have been a relief.

My relatives went about their business of making all the arrangements while I felt like someone on the outside looking in. It was as if it was happening to someone else. I don’t blame anyone, they only did what they thought was right; that is why educating people about what’s really right is so important.

Anyway, I was soon whisked off to Cleveland and dropped off at some friend’s house. The next day I was again dropped off at the abortion clinic. After I got inside, alone, I paid my $200 and was given a pregnancy test and a locker (just like in a gym).I was given a paper gown and told to put it on. The place was cold and the people formal. No compassion, no understanding. Itwas like a busy assembly line.

I then waited in a small room until my name was called. I was taken to another room and told to get up on the table, put my feet in the stirrups and scoot down. It was so cold—I shivered
and have never been so scared or felt so alone.

I was soon to find out that the “painless” procedure I was promised was anything but painless. As my baby was ripped from my body the pain became unbearable, and tears streamed down my face.
I was told to be still -- it would soon be over.

After the abortion, I walked to another room and was allowed to lie down for 30 minutes, after which I was told I could leave. I went to my locker, got dressed and was told to see my family
doctor in six weeks. I asked if I could use a phone to call my ride and was told they had no phones for public use, but there was a pay phone down the street I could use.

When my ride picked me up she had a friend with her. They were going to lunch and I had to go along. You would have thought I had just gone to get my eyes checked for all anyone cared.

Later that day, another relative took me home and dropped me off in front of my apartment. It’s amazing how everyone was there to give advice before the abortion, but afterwards I was on my
own.

What followed was more like a nightmare than reality. I began having nightmares about my baby. I began drinking more and more until I was up to five bottles of alcohol a week. I sometimes
went so long without eating that when I would try to eat, I would vomit.

I finally went to the doctor and found out that I had an infection from the abortion. He started treatment but it didn’t help. I told him about the nightmares and my nerves and he gave
me tranquilizers. No comfort, no counseling -- just pills.

I started taking tranquilizers to help me sleep, and drugs to keep me going during the day. Four times I deliberately overdosed, trying to commit suicide. I don’t think I really wanted to die, I only wanted someone to care, to help, to listen. I wanted the pain to go away.

The doctor continued to try treatment after treatment on the physical problem, but to no avail. I finally changed doctors and had to have surgery because the infection caused by the abortion
had destroyed my cervix and uterus. This helped for a short time.

I finally met the man I am now married to; with his love and support, I started to put my life back together. We started to attend church and I came to find Christ as my Savior. I knew then that I was forgiven but it took time before I was able to forgive myself. I was finally alive after being dead and living in hell.

But the physical problems caused by the abortion started cropping back up. More infections and more damage. I changed doctors again. I had a D & C. I was filled with tumors by this time
and had endometriosis. A hysterectomy was inevitable, but we put it off as long as possible.

But in March 1984 it finally came to pass. Everything had to be removed, for it was totally destroyed. It took ten years of constant problems, but the abortion finally took its final toll.

As I look back, if I had received love and support, and above all, the true facts, I would have never even considered an abortion. The pain never goes away, it’s always there.

I really believe women who have had abortions need to be heard; we have a right to be heard. The thought of anyone going through what I went through (although I know that there are literally
millions who have) is heartbreaking to me.

~~~

You can download a copy of this story at http://bit.ly/1DRbY5S.
Post it to your web site, blog, Facebook, Twitter, or other social
networking site. Or make printed copies to share with others along
with information about coerced and unwanted abortions from
http://bit.ly/1O01aSp.

If you or someone you love is facing an abortion, or hurting as a
result of a past abortion, download our Help and Healing guide at
http://bit.ly/1afFc0a.

Help your church become more aware of abortion and coerced
abortion issues, and become a place of support, advocacy and
healing for those at risk of or hurting after abortion. The
Church Awareness Project offers free, downloadable resources to
help educate your pastor and church leaders and encourage them to
teach and preach on these issues.

Divine Mercy Sunday

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will,
which is Love and Mercy itself.

Jesus, We Trust in You!

The Lord is Close to the Brokenhearted

"Jesus Christ is risen!  Love has triumphed over hatred, life has conquered death, light has dispelled the darkness!"  Pope Francis

It is hard when we struggle with forgiveness and letting go of deep hurt. It it is only through God’s grace that we are able do this when people we love hurt us deeply, people we truly trusted and thought loved us, and yet, we need to choose to do this.

Choose to let go of the pain and the hurt. Choose to follow Christ.

It is in times like this that I truly know what it means to be “brokenhearted” and how Jesus is close to us when we are. When we trust people with the very intimacy of our hearts, when we share that which is most dear to us and embedded in our hearts, and it is not treated with the respect and dignity it deserves, but used instead for an agenda, it is very painful. When the precious gift that is given and the cross of betrayal keeps on giving because of the circumstances, it is so hard to continue to choose to forgive, but forgive we must.

This lent I truly shared in the suffering of Christ. I prayed and continue to pray for the grace not to be resentful, bitter or angry, but to make that choice to forgive, everyday if I have to. It is hard when you are in deep pain, but it is a choice we need to continue to make because of our love for God, and because in the end that is what is really important, giving the mercy we have received.

I learned a lot this lent. Perhaps what struck me most  was something I knew and heard a million times before, but this time, it took on new meaning. Christ forgave from the cross!

He did not forgive when He was feeling better, or when things settled down and He resurrected. He forgave from that very place of excruciating pain. He chose to forgive in the midst of His betrayal, physical and mental pain, His crucifixion! He chose to conquer sin with His love and forgiveness and mercy.

By His grace may we do the same.

“Jesus Christ is Risen! Love has triumphed over hatred, life has conquered death, light has dispelled the darkness!“
Pope Francis -Easter 2015

Mercy, So Great A Gift!

I recently read a blog post by Monsignor Charles Pope on the Archdiocese of Washington web site, “Mercy! So Great a Gift – Why Many Parishes Need to Reconsider When They Offer the Sacrament of Confession”

In this beautiful article, Monsignor tells the story of St. John Paul II and a bishop who resigned because he fell from grace by having an affair with a woman.  Following his resignation the Pope asked to see him.

The bishop was apprehensive, not knowing what to expect. He had  let the Holy Father and God’s people down and a thousand nervous thoughts rushed through his mind. As he drew close, Pope John Paul II extended his large, muscular arms and put a hand on each shoulder of the bishop. He looked him in the eye and said, “Are you at peace?”

Relief and a profound sense of mercy flooded the bishop’s heart; his eyes often filled with tears as he recounted the story years later. ..

There is perhaps no greater gift than to experience the power and beauty of mercy. Yet it is a gift that is often wrapped in pain and in the humiliation of having experienced the true weight of our sins. It is no accident that the opening words of our Lord’s proclamation were “Repent and believe the good news” (Mk 1:15), specifically in that order. For unless we know the bad news, the good news is no news. To repent is to come to a new mind that, beholding God’s glory and holiness, sees the need for mercy. But oh, the glory then of the good news: mercy is available in abundance! God will never reject anyone who calls on Him (Jn 6:37). Oh, the relief, the peace of knowing the effect of those words spoken by God through His priests: “I absolve from your sins … go in peace.”

When I read this account of the bishop experiencing the mercy of God, I knew exactly what he was feeling. That intimate encounter with our God of Mercy,  that touches our very soul, for I too have had such an experience.

Like this bishop, mine was also wrapped in the humiliation of the weight of my sin, the sin of abortion.  I too cried out for God’s mercy, as I sat one night, over twenty years ago, on the floor of my bathroom  immersed in the agony of  my sin repeating over and over again as I crouched on the floor, “Jesus, I trust in you!”

My experience was one of surrender, a climbing on the cross of Christ there to find not the pain but His immense love and mercy.  A rush of warmth went through me, and I immediately knew I had been healed.

It is a hard experience to describe. There are no words to adequately express that encounter with God’s mercy,  but it a moment  you carry with you forever and that sustains you through many trials, because you know you have met Mercy Himself.

 Our merciful God used my very sin to bring me to Himself ,and he is waiting to do that for each one of us. As we approach  Divine Mercy Sunday and the coming Year of Mercy may we all trust in His goodness that always awaits us.

Where Mercy Meets Faithfulness

It is the point of healing. The joining of ultimate pain with ultimate love.  An act of complete trust and surrender, a climbing on to the cross with Christ - there to join mercy with faithfulness.  

I can remember the struggles of faithfulness, the searching in the dark to find God, the holding on to His Word because I had tried everything else and I longed to be healed.  The movement in spite of the pain, the darkness, the fear, because there was nothing to lose… there could be no greater hell than the one I had made for myself.

I begged and pleaded with God reminding Him of His promises, in spite of me. I worked at chipping my remains away, fighting myself so I could reach a complete surrender.

There were many times when I needed encouragement to continue, to resist my temptations and bouts with despair. There were times when I felt I couldn’t go on, but God provided the people necessary to give me the push that I needed, the words I had to hear, and the strength to hang on.

I continually pleaded for the saints' intercession and especially entrusted myself to Mary and Joseph.

And finally, one day alone with Jesus, because He is the only one who can heal, I trusted enough to climb on the cross, to be one with the pain and love that exists there and to allow that love to fill the deep wounds that I had.

There, His mercy met my faithfulness and I finally felt healed of my abortion. I suddenly understood so much of scripture. So much of it was then fulfilled in me, such a gift given. I felt like Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross. Immense love had taken on immense sin and had washed away its stain.

To be sure, the process of healing from abortion is painful and delicate, but with the right help and trust in God even if not “felt," it is possible. Jesus in His mercy longs to heal us.  We in our faithfulness need to persevere.

 

 

 

He is Risen

Indeed He has Risen!

May the risen Christ bestow many blessings on you and your families!

Blessed Easter!

Divine Mercy Novena

Today begins the novena to the Divine Mercy.  As persons who have participated in abortion this devotion to Mercy Himself plays a special part in healing.(I have done a separate post showing how to say it if you are not familiar with it)

I have put the meditations for each day of the novena leading up to Divine Mercy Sunday!

Our Lord said to Saint Faustina:

 

Encourage souls to say the Chaplet which I have given you ... Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death ... When they say this chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between my Father and the dying person, not as the Just Judge but as the Merciful Savior ... Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from my infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy ... Through the Chaplet you will obtain everything, if what you ask for is compatible with My will.

 

First Day
"Today bring to Me All Mankind, especially all sinners and immerse them in the ocean of My 
mercy. In this way you will console Me in the bitter grief into which the loss of souls plunges Me."

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins, but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit. 

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.