A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;
he who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price,
no sum can balance his worth.
A faithful friend is a life-saving remedy,
such as he who fears God finds;
First of all I want to say that I have been blessed with some pretty incredible friends. Ones who have known me at my best, and at my worst, and still unconditionally love me. They have been with me through good times and bad. We have laughed, cried, rejoiced and mourned together. I thank God for them always and I pray they feel they same about me.
A friendship like that is truly an amazing gift from God, one that challenges us to grow in love knowing we can be our true selves and that the person will be there loving us in spite of any failings. We know we are accepted as we are.
But, I also know the pain of a relationship unrequited. One that perhaps I thought was one way, and then painfully came to find out that the other person was thinking of it completely differently.
In those relationships I have often accepted unacceptable behavior because I did not want to see the truth. I have found a million excuses not to see the signs that were screaming out to me because I did not want to want to believe that the person I cared for so deeply did not feel the same about me.
“It must have been a mistake”, “I am sure he/she did not realize how hurtful that was”, “I will tell them how hurt I felt and surely it will not happen again” but it always did. I would come up with a million excuses to stop me from finally facing the fact that the person did not feel about me the same way I felt about them.
There was a time after my abortion, when my self esteem was so low, that I saw every failed relationship as a reflection of my own worth. I believed I was unlovable, and so it was always my fault. How could someone love me who had taken the life of her child? Of course they would leave!
I have come to learn a lot over the years through my healing in Jesus Christ. It does not make the lesson any less painful, but I have learned it is not always about me and I have learned that I am never alone or unloved, He is there with me through it all.
It is still a painful lesson, to learn and face, especially if it is a relationship you have given years of your life to. Clinging to unhealthy relationships and trying to force or believe what you want instead of what is, is not a good thing and destroys peace of mind.
Jesus, I trust in you!
