Reclaiming Our Children

Fall Sibling Weekend - Trumball, CT

"Meeting six other retreatants who knew personally the pain and grief of losing a sibling to abortion made me feel less alone in my loss." JMS

Death from Abortion - the ultimate burden

Times, they aren't a 'changing

I picked up the following at www.Feminist.com.  It's an excerpt from the "Abortion" chapter of "Our Bodies, Ourselves for the New Century."

Although it is supposed to be about before the legalization of abortion, it seems like nothing much has changed. Almost everything they mention still happens today but is now protected.

Especially striking in light of the recent Supreme Court decision is this last line, "Women who were victims of botched or unsanitary abortions came in desperation to hospital emergency wards, where some died of widespread abdominal infections. Many women who recovered from such infections found themselves sterile or chronically and painfully ill. The enormous emotional stress often lasted a long time."

Here is the text:

"The secret world of illegal abortion was mostly frightening and expensive. Although there were skilled and dedicated laywomen and doctors who performed safe, illegal abortions, most illegal abortionists, doctors, and those who claimed to be doctors cared only about being well rewarded for their trouble. In the 1960s, abortionists often turned women away if they could not pay $1,000 or more in cash. Some male abortionists insisted on having sexual relations before the abortion.

Abortionists emphasized speed and their own protection. They often didn't use anesthesia because it took too long for women to recover, and they wanted women out of the office as quickly as possible. Some abortionists were rough and sadistic. Almost no one took adequate precautions against hemorrhage or infection.

Typically, the abortionist would forbid the woman to contact him or her again. Often she wouldn't know his or her real name. If a complication occurred, harassment by the law was a frightening possibility. The need for secrecy isolated women having abortions and those providing them.

In the 1950s, about a million illegal abortions a year were performed in the U.S., and over a thousand women died each year as a result. Women who were victims of botched or unsanitary abortions came in desperation to hospital emergency wards, where some died of widespread abdominal infections. Many women who recovered from such infections found themselves sterile or chronically and painfully ill. The enormous emotional stress often lasted a long time."

Sadly, working for over twenty years in postabortion ministry, I have met women who were sexually abused by an abortionist.  As evidenced by Gosnell, there are still doctors who are not concerned about hemorrhage or infection, and abortion still isolates most of those that have them, especially with the denial of its impact by our society.

Since the legalization of abortion in 1973, there have been almost 60 million abortions in the United States and women are still dying. (Planned Parenthood had to pay a 2 million dollar settlement to the family of Tanya Reeves who bled to death from her botched abortion as a recent example.) Botched abortion, unsanitary conditions, and trips to the emergency room still happen, as does sterility.  Every day in this ministry I listen to countless women tell their story of emotional stress caused by abortion.

The judges on the Supreme Court have done women a great disservice in their desire to protect abortion instead of the women it claims to serve.

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The Real Burden of Abortion on Women

If anyone had any doubt, wondering if the abortion lobby cares more about the legality of abortion than it does the about women's health, they just need to read the decision handed down by the Supreme Court on bill HB2.

Amazingly, the Supreme Court Justices feel like requirements for abortion clinics and admitting privileges for abortionists to hospitals "provides few, if any health benefits for women." Tell that to injured women or the families of those who have died as a direct result of abortion. The all-too-familiar spin of these requirements and admitting privileges would put an “undue burden on women seeking abortions." How about the undue burden on women who seek emergency treatment following a botched abortion? Obviously, their lives don't matter. All that matters is abortion, the true god of the prochoice movement, and the burden it would put on the abortionist.

The court ignored over 3,000 affidavits presented to them by The Justice Foundation, in which my witness was contained.  No doubt there are millions more postabortive women who do speak out about their abortions because their families don't know about it, or they are not healed, or are afraid. Satan has a real hold over this.

It is easy to get discouraged in the climate we live in. As a post abortive person, it may send you spiraling into despair as we hear these things and see the battle in our next presidential election. It can seem that all is lost and the evil of abortion will never end leaving a path of destruction for countless years. "Safe & rare" has turned into any time, any way, for any reason.

The real burden of abortion on women doesn't involve hospital privileges or clinic requirements, but the fact that we have killed our own children. Some of us have lived with the psychological burden of abortion for decades with a society going to any lengths to deny our pain and experiences. Some of us have never been able to have other children because of the physical damage resulting from abortion, and other women have died from abortion. That, Justices, is the real burden.

Each of us needs to pray to see what it is God is asking of us. Then we need to pray for the strength and courage to carry out His will. It is not always easy, but we need to trust in the mercy that saved us to provide whatever it is we need, and we need to support each other.

Today is a very sad day. What was sold as safety for women has ultimately betrayed them.

In the end, we need to remember that the battle is already won by the death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus.  My prayer is that at the end of my life He will say to each one of us, "Well, done, my good and faithful servants."

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Abortion is Not Healthcare

As is usually the case, I spend my Saturdays cleaning and running errands so that I can have Sunday to myself to do whatever I like.

This past Saturday my errands took me to Central Avenue in White Plains, via Hartsdale, NY, where I passed Planned Parenthood Hudson Peconic, a place where I have spent countless Saturday mornings praying.

Although I do not get there much anymore because of my workload in helping those who have been hurt by abortion, I know many who faithfully pray in front of that clinic and who participate in 40 Days for Life organized by Gerald Yeung. The next one will run this fall from September 28 to November 6th and I hope to make it there at least a couple of times.

One only has to go to the Planned Parenthood website and take a look around to see that their focus is on promoting sex, all kinds of sex, which in turn leads people to utilize their services which, of course, they make big money on. They are quick to deny women "right to know legislation" when it comes to the dangers of abortion and are currently trying to block HB2 which would require abortionists to have hospital admitting privileges in case a woman needs them. They say women are smart enough to make their own choices while at the same time denying them the information to do so intelligently.  It seems to me that women have the right to know all available information before they make that "choice." However, Planned Parenthood only wants women to know what they want them to know. They also deceive women who are emotionally upset before an abortion convincing them to sign their rights away to use their aborted babies for "research," which leads to the selling of body parts, a federal offense.

Everyone knows that in the past year Planned Parenthood was exposed by The Center for Medical Progress  in undercover videos which show their own employees speaking and  joking about selling aborted baby parts. As shocking as it was, it came as no surprise. Although Planned Parenthood claims they provide health care services for women, abortion is not a health care service.  Contrary to their misleading rhetoric, mammograms are not performed at Planned Parenthood clinics either.

I am sure that the current controversy is what caused them to put up the banner I saw there today.  An attempt to validate what they want the public to believe.

They can hang up any banner they want to, but the truth is the truth.  No amount of banners will change it. 

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Elections

It's All About You, Dr. Spurrell, isn't it

A June 21st Time article by Dr. Timothy Spurrell hooked me with the lead in, "A woman who has decided to end her pregnancy deserves compassion, respect and dignity."

Spurrell, the "doctor" who titled his article, "Why I fly 3,400 Miles Every Month to Perform Abortions in Texas," wrote in protest of Texas abortion bill HB2, which would require abortionists to have admitting privileges at a local hospital.

A doctor having admitting privileges at a local hospital would seem like a no-brainer, but to Spurrell the abortionist, it is a cumbersome requirement that would make his job more difficult.  After all, he tells us, "...if any of my patients ever did need emergency care after the procedure, she could simply go to the nearest emergency room." He goes on to say that "very few patients ever require follow-up or emergency care afterward."  His words leave me wondering about the patients who do.  Where is the "compassion, respect and dignity" for them?

I believe Spurrell the abortionist truly believes his motives and actions are selfless.  In his mind he believes, as he states in the article, that he is treating these women with "compassion, respect and dignity."  However, in the light of truth, he is, in fact, doing the complete opposite.  Although he proclaims that his work as an abortionist is "not about me," the words in his article say otherwise as he praises himself for performing abortions repeatedly telling the reader how difficult and self sacrificing it is to carry out his "work."

Being postabortive myself and having worked with women who have had abortions for over twenty years, I can tell you that compassion involves having concern for the suffering of an individual.  Compassion is not cooperating with evil in order to supposedly make that suffering go away or perpetuate the false idea that something as evil as abortion is somehow good.  Treating someone with dignity would not allow the truth to be hidden about what abortion is or what happens during the procedure.  Dignity, by definition, is "the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect."  Taking the life of your own child does not make a woman feel worthy or honor or respect.  In fact, abortion makes a woman feel the complete opposite of dignified.  Contrary to what Spurrell and others would like people to believe, shame and blame resulting from abortion do not come from outside of ourselves.  Shame comes from the innate, interior knowledge that you have ended the life of your own child which is always wrong.

Healing from a past abortion has countless struggles and setbacks and one of the biggest struggles is self forgiveness.  As women begin to recognize the lies they have been told by the abortion industry, making apparent the blatant lack of full disclosure that is required to be made known with any other medical procedure, women cannot believe what they have actually done. While abortion is purported to be for the good of the mother, it only serves to leave women in confusion and pain with a nagging sense of disbelief that she could have been so blind.  She wonders how she allowed herself to be duped by the abortion industry which claims, ad nauseam, to have the rights and dignity of women as a core belief and motivating factor.  It may take years, even decades, but the truth eventually comes to women who have had an abortion, sometimes not until they are in their 80's or 90's, as we have seen these women come forward for healing.

As one woman I worked with said, "Even though I was engrossed in the lies, I still knew in my heart that what we did was wrong... everything about the clinic was deceptive. I allowed (and paid!) someone to kill my baby in my womb, the safest place a person can find herself."

Spurrell continues, telling the reader he has met women who had "sold nearly everything they had to put together the money to pay for the procedure," money which he has no trouble taking to enhance the life of his wife and "five beautiful sons," who he states know what he does for a living. Does your brand of "respect and dignity" teach your sons to respect women as you kill their unborn children? 

Spurrell needs to take time to speak to women who have been destroyed by abortion. Women who may not have sold all their possessions, but their souls, or those who have lost the ability to have other children because of abortion.  Perhaps then, instead of killing the unborn, he could put to good use the mental health training he says he has had to help postabortive women put their lives back together. Now that would be a true act of compassion. 

In the end, Spurrell laments his time away from home while he is across the country performing abortions, in an attempt to garner sympathy, telling us what he has had to miss while performing abortions in Texas.  His wife, he says, sends him pictures of what his boys are doing as they "grow and learn and try new things." 

Sorry, Dr. Spurrell, but it seems to me you should be grateful.  Those of us who have had abortions will never get to see our kids do those things, not even in pictures. 

HB2 should pass.

Are you suffering from a past abortion?
You are not alone! There is hope.  There is healing. 
Call us today at 1-877-586-4621 or lumina@postabortionhelp.org.

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Men & Abortion

EWTN Sunday Night Prime Show from 2011 on "Men & Abortion" with Father Benedict Groeschel.CFR...miss him!

 

Hiding behind Myself

“There was the me that everyone knew and then there was the me that I knew.”

 

October 26, 1991 was the day of my abortion and the day that changed my life forever. Before the abortion, I had known that it was wrong and at first, I was sort of happy about having a baby, although scared. But because of my circumstances and I have to admit, my own selfishness, I had decided to go along with my baby’s father’s desire to abort.

It wasn’t until I woke up afterwards, when I felt the complete emptiness and utter sadness of what I had done, did I realize the gravity of my sin.

 The Planned Parenthood worker woke me and told me to get up and get dressed, they needed the bed. I couldn’t move and as I slowly came out of the anesthesia, I was overcome with such feelings of loss and desolation. I just sat there and got dressed...I couldn’t even bring myself to get up and go into the bathroom. I was so full of shame.

 I suppose that was my first acknowledgement of my sin, however, I tried to hide it and then bury it. With that came the consequences. That first day I cried and just wanted to be alone. The baby’s father tried to console me, but he didn’t understand and I didn’t want to make him feel bad because after all, it was ultimately my decision. I had made horrible choices and sinned terribly before this. I chose to not have God in my life. I still believed in Him and I knew He was there watching me, but I wanted to do things my way because I just wanted to do what made me happy. I liked my life and got lazy about my morals. I didn’t go to Church regularly, I prayed very little, and tuned out my parents whenever they tried to talk to me about God. Since I ran from God before I even got pregnant, the thought never even occurred to me to run to Him for help after becoming pregnant.

 This choice, this sin, however, was the most heinous. The only way to continue on with my life was to not think about it. I had to bury it and move on. It was just too painful. Aside from telling 2 family members and a friend, telling other family or friends was not an option, after all, what would they think of me? I think most people had a certain opinion of me and having an abortion did not fit with who I was. At that time I was very concerned about what people thought of me. Plus, I was too ashamed and didn’t think they would understand...how could they? I didn’t understand or believe that I could do such a thing. I thought they would hate me and think I was some horrible person. I couldn’t deal with that from all of them...I already knew it to be true and I didn’t want anyone else to see that part of me, the part that could do something so terrible. So I pushed it down and hid behind the façade that everything was fine. By pushing it down and not letting anyone in, I could still pretend to be the same old me, on the outside anyway.

 I went through life as if nothing was wrong or different. I was still with my boyfriend, we went out and had fun, I worked and did what I had to do. It was like living a dual life. There was the me that everyone knew and then there was the me that I knew. The price I paid was emotional and spiritual. Never being a confident and secure person to begin with, my sin of abortion added to my low self-esteem. It was so hard to believe that I could actually do such a thing as this. What was I thinking? How could I be such a coward? I was a fake and a sad excuse for a human being. Why was God so far away? No,why did I push Him so far away???

 It was at those times that I cried and begged God to forgive me. However, I didn’t think that I deserved forgiveness. After all, I took my own baby’s life. It was right for me to feel this way.

But I wanted forgiveness. I had admitted and repented a million times to God when I was alone.

Years later, one priest that I spoke with gave me a Lumina pamphlet. He urged me to call but I just put it in the drawer. I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t make that call. However, at that time, I had started to let God back in my life. I really started looking for Jesus. I went back to Church, eventually I started teaching Religious Ed classes which started me wanting to learn more about my faith, but I still couldn’t let go of my abortion.

 Then one day, I had this sudden urge to call the Sisters of Life. I had seen them on EWTN, went on their web-site, had even pulled out my Lumina pamphlet and read it again and again. I still hadn’t found the peace that I desired. At this point, I knew that God had forgiven me but I still couldn’t forgive myself. I was still miserable inside. There was no time to think about it. It was as if God Himself was controlling my fingers to dial the phone. It was as if He had said ok, enough! You’re ready now. This is what you need to do. Things changed in me from that very first phone call. It was an amazing experience. After so many years of feeling isolated, not only did I meet other women who knew what I was going through, God put women of such compassion in my life, I just could not believe the love that surrounded me.

 After that, I went to an Entering Canaan Retreat Weekend. As amazing as it sounds, it was during this weekend that my healing took place. It was then that I truly felt God’s mercy and grace. After hearing Theresa and the other women give powerful witness during the conference, I had the most amazing confession with Father Mariusz. By examining my conscience through each commandment, I was able to confess not only my abortion but even sins that I had already confessed. For the very first time, my soul felt clean and the huge burden of all my sins, especially my sin of abortion, was taken off my shoulders.

 I learned through the weekend that I needed to accept God’s forgiveness because He had forgiven me and He wanted me to be at peace knowing this. I learned that I should not refuse this great gift of His, but embrace it and know that He does love me, no matter what. I learned that I’m not the monster that Satan told me I was. While I still hate my sin of abortion, I can finally look in the mirror and not hate me. One more very important thing that I’ve learned is that I do have a voice.

 The peaceful and amazing retreat weekends that I’ve spent with Theresa, the Sisters of Life, the priests and every single woman who I met along the way have helped change my life. God put each and everyone of them in my path to help me. All of this and everything that I felt, every tear, every painful memory, every agonizing second of time that I’ve thought about my abortion has brought me closer in my relationship to God and my healing.

With God’s grace, I was finally able to accept His forgiveness. I am now closer to understanding the cross and Jesus’ excruciatingly painful death for us so that we may live. I understand that He hates my sins but loves me dearly and longs to heal me.

I am so very thankful to God for all that He has done for me. While He must have been very saddened by my sins and my choice to run from Him,

He stayed with me along my journey and helped me learn from these sins. As my journey continues, no matter what happens, I know that Jesus is

always beside me and that I can always trust in Him and His mercy.

– Donna

FATHER’S DAY

"Happy Father's Day!" Boy, does that phrase trigger memories of my daughter’s death by abortion.  Twenty-seven years later, the painful memories still come flooding back. Mary Beth and I were walking through the big department stores in the mall.  It was the Saturday before Father’s Day.  People were shopping for their fathers and with their fathers. Stacks of bright sport shirts, ties and golf clothing were everywhere.  Large posters with pictures of handsome, happy fathers holding their beautiful children hung all over the stores.

I remember feeling as though my soul twisted and snapped.  Father’s Day was very painful that year.  It was as if it slammed into me and made me face what I had done; what no father should ever do – participate in the death of his firstborn daughter. How could I have denied my daughter her life? How could I have agreed to the abortion and paid for it? It was less than a month since my daughter had been aborted.

I carried that pain and guilt in secret all for many years.  I never spoke to anyone about the abortion, and although I have told some family members and attended a healing ministry, I still have not been able to tell my own Dad about his granddaughter who was aborted.

I pray to God the Father for the grace to tell my Dad.  I pray for the grace of continued healing. I pray that St. Joseph – Father of the Holy Family – will lead all fathers of aborted children to God’s ministers of mercy.  I also thank God for the privilege of being a father to three children in heaven, and one on earth. Lastly, I thank Him for the gift of my Dad and the loving example of fatherhood that he has given me.

May God Bless all fathers this Father’s Day.

 

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Are you a man or do you know a man who is suffering because of abortion? 
You are not alone. There is hope.  There is healing. 
The next Entering Canaan Day of Prayer and Healing for Men is scheduled for Saturday, October 29, 2016. 
Please contact Lumina at 1-877-586-4621 for more information.

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