Reclaiming Our Children

Living Crown - Our Lady of Czestochowa

Sorry there have not been posts, but I am just back from some R&R.

Those of you familiar with "Entering Canaan" know that Our Lady of Czestochowa is the patroness of the ministry. If you don't know, and would like to hear why, you can read about it here.

So, of course, this coming event at the Shrine to Our Lady in Doylestown is very special to our heart here at EC and we wanted to let you know about it. It is an opportunity for us to be a living crown for her who has done so much for us!

The 300 Anniversary Of The Coronation Of The Miraculous Image Of Our Lady Of Czestochowa

 

10 Sep 2017 | 11:00 am - 02:00 pm

Place : The National Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa 654 Ferry Road Doylestown,PA 18901

Email : livingcrownofmary@gmail.com

2016 – September 8 – 2017 is the Jubilee year of the 300th anniversary of the Coronation of the Miraculous Image of Our Lady of Czestochowa with Papal crowns. This celebration took place in 1717 in Czestochowa, Poland. The crowns were sent by Pope Clemens XI. It was for the first time in the history that such an event took place outside of Rome. Today we wish to honor Mary, not with golden crowns, but with our life in accord with the Gospel. St. Irenaeus said that „The glory of God is man fully alive”. In order for this to happen, we need a continuous repentance. That is why we would like to offer our spiritual gifts to the Blessed Mother – because they show whether Mary truly reigns in our life.

The National Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa – September 10, 2017

 

Solemn Eucharist at 11:00 AM, celebrated by His Excellency Bishop Andrzej Zglejszewski, Auxiliary Bishop for the Diocese of Rockville Centre, Long Island.

 

For more information visit http://livingcrownofmary.com/

 

There is no doubt in my heart, OLC has been guiding the "Entering Canaan" ministry for over 20 years and in fact, brought it into being, so all you peeps out there from EC and more..let us make her a beautiful crown!

A Defining Moment

 

Lately, we have been getting a lot of calls from post abortive men. Men whose lives are forever altered by the aborting of their unborn child. 

Men are rarely given the freedom to share their feelings. For some reason, it is seen as a sign of weakness or a threat to their “manhood”, so the thought that they would be able to express feelings experienced as a result of losing a child through abortion only intensifies this “don’t talk, don’t feel” mentality.

 What can be more of a threat to their manhood than their failure to protect, a role exemplified by being a husband and father. In abortion, both of those roles are seen as failures and so it not only instills a range of emotions, but it also makes going to God all the more threatening.

 For sure, men have been given conflicting messages about abortion. They are told it is a woman’s decision, their body their choice, and so often play a passive role in the decision to keep the baby, having bought into the idea that this is the right thing to do. Often after the abortion, they are then made to feel guilty for not doing something or discouraging the woman to bring the pregnancy to term, for failing to protect. “My body my choice…why didn’t you stop me!”

 Some men are not even told of the abortion until after its occurrence, leaving them feeling angry, betrayed, responsible yet and helpless in defending their child. They wonder, “How could I not have known?”, and with the death of the child comes the death of the relationship.

 Others find abortion a convenient way to continue in inappropriate behavior, using women for their own needs. For many of these men it is not until they are in committed relationships or later have children that they recognize the great injustice that they have done and the fact that they have contributed to the death of their own child.

 Lastly, a group being seen more and more are husbands who have married women with abortions in their past, and so often suffer from a lack of intimacy and the issues plaguing their wives. Some do not even know abortion is a factor in their relationship, but live with the consequences throughout their marriage.

 Abortion leaves both men and women spiritually bankrupt. For most it is the before and after of life, a defining moment. This moment however, can be the catalyst to a renewed life of faith and growth in the understanding of true love, the love of Jesus Christ.

"Entering Canaan" retreat days for post abortive men are offered twice a year, by Lumina and Friars of the Renewal. Our next day is October 7, 2017. We also can connect you to a professional therapist trained in post abortion, a clergy member, or another man who has gone through the experience.

 If you are a man suffering from a past abortion don’t stay in silence, there are many who have gone before you that can help.

 

Entering Canaan - Bringing a Message of HOPE

“In the second reading, Saint Paul speaks of Abraham, who, "hoping against hope, believed" (Rom 4:18). Hoping against hope! Today too, amid so much darkness, we need to see the light of hope and to be men and women who bring hope to others. To protect creation, to protect every man and every woman, to look upon them with tenderness and love, is to open up a horizon of hope; it is to let a shaft of light break through the heavy clouds; it is to bring the warmth of hope! For believers, for us Christians, like Abraham, like Saint Joseph, the hope that we bring is set against the horizon of God, which has opened up before us in Christ. It is a hope built on the rock which is God” - Pope Francis

“Hoping against Hope! ” I am betting anyone who has ever suffered from a past abortion can relate to “hoping against hope." “Hope” is usually something they gave up long ago.

In our “Entering Canaan” ministry, Days of Prayer & Healing are the first thing someone would attend. Our goal for the day is single; to instill "hope of healing." To light the flame of "hope" into a soul so often plagued with despair, anxiety, and fear, and to be as Pope Francis said, “men and women who bring hope to others."

Often, people think this is a small goal, after all, we are speaking about an abortion experience, but it is from this foundation of hope that faith grows, little by little, bringing the person into a personal relationship with God there to learn true trust in Him and His mercy, allowing themselves to experience His forgiveness and love.

This new found trust then gives them the ability to honestly look at their abortion experience, while they cling to the mercy they have found, knowing they are loved, opening them to the tools they need, emotionally, spiritually, and even sometimes physically to heal. This “light of hope” paves the way on their journey of post abortion healing through the desert to “Entering Canaan” the Promised Land.

Traveling through this desert consists of many different experiences, from our “Hope & Healing” weekend retreat, which explores different obstacles of healing such as acknowledging our sin and the difference between shame vs. humility, to our monthly “Gatherings” groups where we  pray before the Eucharist meditating on a specific post abortion issue, and then share with one another. Our yearly “Mercy” retreat, is also a time to grow deeper in our faith and our healing as we renew ourselves in the Lord.

Hope, the foundation of healing and the instrument to keep faith alive, is evident all through our quest for wholeness and healing after our abortions and also our desire to see our children one day. Pope John Paul II tells us in the Gospel of Life, “The Father of mercies is ready to give you his forgiveness and his peace in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child. With the friendly and expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of everyone's right to life."

This “sure hope” is a comfort and a promise, enabling us to reclaim our children in the Lord.

“To protect creation, to protect every man and every woman, to look upon them with tenderness and love, is to open up a horizon of hope; it is to let a shaft of light break through the heavy clouds; it is to bring the warmth of hope!”  Pope Francis

May we each open up a horizon of hope and break through the heavy cloud of abortion, there to find Mercy Himself waiting for us!

Into the Deep Retreat

I had a revelation last week. I do not have to spend money traveling the world, I only have to try to be silent and in the present moment to realize my mind will bring me to a million different places! I work while at leisure, stray from one thought to another while at work, travel, and even, sadly, while at mass.

We live in a busy world with multiple demands in our personal and professional lives. Add to that our political climate and the craziness of the world that seems to have no truths, and it, at least for me, becomes very hard to be silent and just in the presence of God.

I had been looking for a silent retreat. I have often gone on silence and solitude, but I felt I wanted some conferences and direction this year to help pull me back from the many distractions I had recently been experiencing that seemed to rob my peace. I was very happy to learn about the "Into the Deep" retreat. A contemplative, 5 day silent retreat with Fr. Jeremiah Shryock, of the Fransican Friars of the Renewal (C.F.R.).  An added bonus on the retreat was Fr. Michael, whose prayer, sharing, and presence enriched the retreat!)

Through the use of "prayer words" we were pulled back to God when distracted in contemplative prayer. What at first seemed like "how am I going to spend all this time in silence," after a couple of days turned into,  "Thank you God for this time of prayer in silence, please don't let it end!"

Throughout the days I found myself less distracted and more focused on the only thing that really matters, the living presence of God in my life.  I felt at home in my heart, in the presence of God and confirmation and clarity for some things I had been struggling with.

In addition to the silent prayer, we were blessed with beautiful daily conferences that enhanced the prayer experience, while also affording a lightness through Father Jeremiah's approach. He also  assured us that the struggles with prayer are common to everyone, and what truly mattered is our desire and surrender to God over and over through our personal prayer word.

An extra blessing were the group sharing with some wonderful people, and the "God things" that happened among the retreatants without the utterance of words, as we shared this special time of grace so richly given to us by God.

Ready for a silent guided retreat? If you are, check out "Into the Deep." Father would be open to bringing it to a location near you. The only thing he asks is that those who attend recognize what they are about to do in silence and truly desire this time to sit in the presence of the One who loves us unconditionally.  Visit the Events Page on the Community's website for updates on a retreat near you or for contact information.

For me it was just what the Divine Physician ordered!

 

Lost Motherhood

In November of 2003, I became pregnant.  Although it was unplanned, my baby definitely was not unwanted.

I was very worried about telling my boyfriend the news and what his reaction would be.  It was one of anger.  How would we afford and take care of a baby? Eventually, he came around and said he would stand by me, but then he called telling me the baby was not his.  This upset me so much, my sister told me it was better to take care of the “problem” now, rather than to give it up when it was born.  She urged me to get an abortion and then never speak about it again.  I did not want the abortion, but in my mind I did not know how I could ever do this alone, so I gave in to the pressure.  I felt very scared and abandoned. 

I called and made an appointment for a Saturday morning.  I tried to talk to the father of the baby the night before to tell him what was about to happen, but my sister made the call instead of me and told me a woman answered and said he was not home.  They did not allow me to speak to him.  I felt like the lamb being led to the slaughter. 

When we went to the abortion clinic, it was very scary, with a lot of women and men sitting around in silence.  My sister filled out all the forms and gave all the wrong information because she was worried our neighbors would find out, so, she told all lies in spite of the fact I had a heart problem at the time. 

The nurse gave me a sonogram and checked my blood pressure.  I asked why they were doing all this, when my unborn baby is about to be killed.  It did not make sense to me.  She asked if this was what I wanted.  I wanted to say no, but before I could reply my sister said that I did not have any choice.  

I cried and cried, and I knew this was very wrong.  I saw a lot of girls on stretchers, looking very sad.  I wanted to turn around, but all I did was look at the ceiling and the clock as the doctor proceeded to kill my unborn baby. 

When I came out they asked if I wanted to have other children.  Something about a medicine they would have to give me.  I just laid there crying and alone.  I knew what had just happened was evil.  Afterward when I got home, my other sister called asking how I was and then telling me that I was never to talk about it again.  From that moment on my life went down hill.  I drank to ease the pain, and I was very angry and emotional when I would see pregnant women.  I would even cry when I saw babies on the TV.  I would look out the window for my lost baby wondering if the pain would ever go away.

I went back with the father of the child although I was angry with him. 
I think it was a connection to my baby, but I would get up during the night pacing the floors, my heart breaking.  The following year, I got pregnant again and miscarried at the same time I had had the abortion.  It led to a nervous breakdown.  Although I looked for help many times, the only solution I was told was to move on.  My boyfriend too told me to get on with my life, but I couldn’t, the pain was just too deep. 

I knew I needed help, and eventually, through church, got the number for “Entering Canaan."  It has helped me with my healing through the retreats and groups on post abortion healing.  It has been a long hard road but, thanks to God, I am moving forward, forgiving, learning how my abortion impacted me, and trying to help other women.  ~Dymphna

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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss? 
There is Hope.  There is Healing.  There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at lumina@postabortionhelp.org
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008

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Talitha koum - Kathy's Story

When I was 22, I was single, had graduated from college, and started my new job at IBM. I was on a journey of ‘success,’ freedom, and final independence, or so I thought. I had always struggled during my young adult years between wanting to be a "good girl," and wanting to enjoy worldly desires, like having fun, parties, and dating, which often led to sexual impurity - although the sexual impurity was just a veiled attempt to get love. I was raised Catholic, and always thought abortion was wrong, but never wanted to impose my views on a girl in an unplanned pregnancy - which I now realize was a dangerous stance.

 

Not long after college I fell in love with a guy who was fun, energetic, and a bit more dangerous than anyone I’d dated before. Physically and emotionally things went way too fast, and after a romantic beach vacation with other friends, he and I discovered I was pregnant. I was immediately way too scared to even consider having a baby out of wedlock. There was no way. I immediately put up a mental and emotional wall. It couldn’t be allowed to happen. It had already happened once with another sibling in my family back in high school, and I already knew how my parents would react - with shame and disgust. Ironically, they were pregnant when they got married. It didn’t matter, I knew I would never have their support. Plus this was the first time I was in love, and I couldn’t let something so heavy interfere with the relationship so early on, plus the shame of it all, and I just started my new job.

 

I somehow also felt like this was my fault, since it happened in my body, so I had to take the "bull by the horns" and deal with this situation. The guy I was dating took the weak way out, and said "whatever you want to do.” So I didn’t allow myself to think, I just went into robot mode, and made the appointment. Strange, because the receptionist had said, “Oh, let’s make your appointment with Dr. Miller, because he’s gentle.” Looking back, that is so chilling, because it meant that some weren’t. At the facility, there was one nurse in the hall who gave me a dirty look because she knew why I was there. I just looked away, and tried to ignore her, because she obviously wasn’t there to help me, she just made me feel worse.

 

The abortionist was polite and seemed calm, and the attending nurse was nice enough. But I didn’t want to be there - this isn’t where a boyfriend who says he loves you, brings you. This isn’t what he’s supposed to allow you to go through. The procedure was quick and somewhat painless because I was so high on the nitrous oxide they gave me - that’s right, “laughing gas.”

 

I was shuddering I had breathed in so much, and I didn’t want to know what was going on. My eyes were squeezed shut the whole time, tears running down my cheeks, my whole body shaking, my boyfriend whispering into my ear, “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you..” over and over and over again, with the sound of the suction machine in the background, ripping our son out of my womb. I could feel the contractions as my baby was being sucked out of my uterus, and I thought, “This is all the ‘labor’ I can give you, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry...”.

 

I felt a strange relief for the first few days, followed by an interior, deafening silence, like something had died in me. The relationship soured within the following weeks and months, and I panicked. Here I did all this just to keep him, but now it’s not going to work. I knew in my heart it wasn’t working anyway. He started drinking more, played head games, and would come in and out of my life, for sex usually. I soon got several STD’s from him, and he later ended up going back with his old girlfriend.

 

The whole thing was a big, humiliating waste. I went from being an outgoing, responsible, happy, very social person with hopes, goals and dreams, to a dark, sullen, completely withdrawn, abandoned, hopeless, intensely self-destructive and nearly suicidal person who was now completely lost with no direction, and no bearings. I had thoughts I never had before in my life. I wanted to drive into the side of the freeway wall. The words of denial ‘no, no, no, no, no, no....’ repeated in my head like a battering ram, ALL THE TIME, either that or it was my ex’s name in my head. I developed an odd discomfort and fear when I was around knives. I would have feelings of wanting to rake my nails down my neck and the insides of my forearms. The self hatred was so black, so intense. I would just cry constantly. I starved myself out of sheer misery and self hatred. I lost 20 pounds in less than 3 months. I couldn’t hate myself enough, like it was my own pursuit of punishment. I wanted to hate myself to death - as if that would somehow set things aright.

 

Needless to say my journey to healing has been a long, long and much needed road, which started with confession a few months after the abortion. Even so, I still wandered for a number of dark years after that, searching for answers, feeling like I didn’t belong to the Catholic faith anymore.

 

After six years, I finally found and went through the Project Rachel 12-step healing program. Two years later I went to the Sisters of Life’s Day of Healing and Prayer, which lifted this huge rock of shame that would never be on me again. A year later I attended the Rachel’s Vineyard retreat, which was profoundly powerful and healing.

 

I AM that woman at Jesus feet, washing His feet with my tears, drying his feet with my hair. I love much, because I have been forgiven much. And now, I must continue to respond also, as I hear Jesus now saying to me, every day, for the rest of my life, Talitha koum: “Little girl, I say to you, arise!” (Mark 5:41). He has much work for me to do.

Kathy C

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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope.  There is Healing.  There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at lumina@postabortionhelp.org
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008

Come Aside and Rest a While

"Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while."  Mark 6:30-31

Just a note to say that I will be out of the office from July 11th to July 17th on my yearly retreat.  I will be computer free so I will not be posting on the blog .

Pray for me as I will for you...

After my retreat, beginning July 19th, I will be out of the office until the end of the month on vacation with both family and friends. It is so important to step away and rejuvenate, knowing He is the one who does all good things!

I usually try to get some posts up before I go, but I am not sure that will happen this year, as I am currently working on preparing for and developing a few post abortion healing retreats for the coming year. So instead I will tell you when they are:

September 22-24, 2017: Postabortive Sibling Retreat in Bridgeport, Connecticut

October 7, 2017: Post-abortive Men's Day of Prayer & Healing

December 2017: The first Entering Canaan Advent weekend for postabortive women and men will be held in Newark, New Jersey

March: Yearly Mercy Post Abortion Healing Retreat

Praying that God's mercy touch many in the coming year.

Jesus, we trust in you!

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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope.  There is Healing.  There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at lumina@postabortionhelp.org
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008

When Couples Struggle With the Deep, Dark, Secret of Past Abortions

I penned a piece for the National Catholic Register a few years ago entitled, "When Couples Struggle With the Deep, Dark Secret of Past Abortions - Let sleeping dogs lie? Or reveal it so the marriage will be based on truth?" It is worth sharing over and over as it is an issue that continues to be front and center in abortion healing.

 

In the sacrament of marriage, couples promise to love one another “for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish ...”

“For better or for worse” would seem to include the ugliness of our sins.

In making this commitment, we are free to be our true selves and to learn and grow in the love of God, trusting that the other person will always be there for us — even when, in our human weakness, we fail.

There are varied opinions as to whether a person needs to disclose a prior abortion to their future spouse before marriage. Some feel that if one does not, the marriage is not based on truth; while others advise, “Let sleeping dogs lie.”

But the problem is: Most often, an abortion experience is not sleeping but wide awake, impacting many different aspects of the relationship.

For the past 20 years, I’ve engaged in post-abortion ministry, both as director of Lumina, a post-abortion program of Good Counsel Homes, and as co-developer of the Entering Canaan post-abortion ministry. I have often heard anxiety expressed by post-abortive people who live in the fear of being “found out.” They are terrified that some day their spouses will learn of their abortions and stop loving them. This fear keeps them from being fully open and giving themselves completely, and this fear manifests itself by impacting intimacy in the relationship, both sexually and emotionally.

Click Here to Read the Rest.

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Are you living in darkness and depression after an abortion?
Unable to get past the pain of your loss?
There is Hope.  There is Healing.  There is a way out of the darkness.
Email us at lumina@postabortionhelp.org
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008

July 4th-connecting more than fireworks!

For most people the 4th of July means cookouts,  fireworks, and the celebration of the Independence of America. For me, it was a day if torment, a major abortion connector; the day I know I got pregnant.

Yes, I know the exact day, and I would be lying if I did not say that not a year goes by that I do not think of it, but the way I think about it has changed.

For most, thoughts of independence emerge around this holiday.  But, for me, the thoughts were of the beginning of years of enslavement because of the abortion I was coerced into. Little did I know my life would change forever because of the decisions I made that night.

A lot has happened since that day over 4 decades  ago. I have grown and through God's grace have found healing and have been blessed in so many ways. I do not cringe anymore when I think of the 4th, but instead, I think lovingly of my unborn son, who I know I will meet one day and who, in a spiritual sense, is now with me every day.

We all have our abortion "connectors." What is important to remember is that although they may have caused nothing but torment before, they can evolve into a means of grace, and bring a freedom to our hearts through healing. So, although I will always remember the 4th of July as the day Joshua was conceived, I am now free from the enslavement of abortion, and have the independence to freely enjoy the cookouts and fireworks in the sky, knowing it is only a matter of time until we are together with Christ.