Reclaiming Our Children

Living a Life of Faith

Scripture tells us “You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart” (Jeremiah 29:13). Do you seek God “with all your heart” or do you still withhold parts of your heart from Him?  I know I do. “I’ll give you this Lord, but not that. You are asking too much Lord…you want that too? How can you expect me to give you that? It is too hard.”

 We are afraid to let go. Afraid of growth and change, and yes, afraid to trust when it seems our security may be threatened. It is so hard to die to our own will; a part of us continues to believe we know better than God.

 St Faustina knew what it was like to surrender her will completely. She writes in her diary “I accept everything that comes my way as given me by the loving will of God who sincerely desires my happiness”.(Diary 1549)

Not just the good things, but EVERYTHING. The failures, the losses, the sickness, the fears, the sufferings, everything. She knew that no matter how things looked, God loved her and He was leading her along the road to eternal life…her happiness.

Years ago my younger son Michael brought a small statue of the Pieta back for me from a trip to Rome. Having consecrated myself to Mary by means of True Devotion by St Louis Marie De Monte forte, the statue quickly became one of my most prized possessions obtaining a place of honor on my desk. In this devotion you become a “slave” of Mary and are called to imitate her virtues. “I am all yours and all that I have belongs to you, Oh, most loving Jesus, through Mary, your Most Holy Mother”. It has been a daily prayer of mine for over 18 years. Mary becomes the possessor, of all of your works, as you strive to live with her, through her, in her and for her, that you may glorify Jesus as she did.

 When Michael entered the Marine Corp. Suddenly; the statute took on a new meaning.

Suddenly I heard myself saying “I want to be like you in all things Mary but not this, this I cannot do.”

 “I accept everything”.

What an example we have in Mary. She did not say “everything” but this. She did not scream for the soldiers to take Jesus down from the cross, she did not beg Jesus not to go through with the Fathers plan for Him. She did not run from the cross. She accepted everything as given to her by the loving will of God. She trusted completely, that no matter how things looked or what happened, God loved her and good would come out of it.

 My humanness rebels at the thought of accepting everything. It just seems too painful to me. I know I cannot do it; I am too filled with fear. Just the thought of Michael being wounded or worse yet, killed, is too much for me, and so I live day-by-day trying to trust. I remind myself that of course I cannot do it, but Mary can do it in me, one day, one minute at a time. She can show me the way on whatever road He chooses. She knows the way; she will be there to hold my hand. When I get fearful, I can hide behind her mantle as she urges me on. I can imitate her in following her son along the road of Calvary learning the lessons she teaches me; patience, forgiveness, trust, humility, perseverance, and purity of heart.

 I do not know how long they will ask me to walk this road or what lies ahead. Michael has 2 more years in the Marine Corp and will soon be heading to Iraq. All I know is that I am called to pray and trust one day at a time. I am called to consent to the will of God no matter what it is, knowing His love for Michael and His desire for his salvation. I know some days will be harder than others and that I will sometimes fail, but I also know Mary will be with me through it all, teaching and guiding me as I learn to “accept everything that comes my way as given me by the loving will of God who sincerely desires my happiness”.  Theresa Bonopartis

Reflection-Padre Pio

An Inspirational letter of Padre Pio that relates to our sins and Gods Mercy courtesy of a reader...:beautiful and a great reminder..(thank you Ivan!)

In order to have a continuously devout life, you need nothing more than to establish a few excellent and noble principles solidly within yourself.

The first principle I want you to understand is from St. Paul: "WE KNOW THAT IN EVERYTHING GOD WORKS FOR GOOD WITH THOSE WHO LOVE HIM" (Romans 8:28). And truly, since God can, and knows how to, bring forth good even...commiting, are ordained to good for those who serve him. If holy King David had never sinned, he might not have acquired such profound humility. Magdalene would not have loved Jesus so profoundly if he had not forgiven her for so many sins....

Medidate, dearest daughter, on this great operation of mercy: It converts our wretchedness into benefits.

November 15, 1917

 

Trust In the Lord

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart

And lean not unto your own understanding

In all of your ways acknowledge Him

And He shall direct your path

Sounds so  easy doesn’t it? Just trust in the Lord and all will be well. He will show you what to do according to His will not yours. Trouble is, we often do not see His will clearly and struggle to look for the sign that shows us which way to go.

Sometimes we can think we are being led one way, then all of a sudden the thing we were so sure of suddenly so clearly becomes the thing we know we are suppose to do.

Recently someone asked me what I wanted to do. I easily said what I would love to be doing with my life, but I have come to know that what I desire is very often not the will of God for me. In fact, many times, what He wants and what I want are the total opposites!

Of course I am not speaking of things like sin, but about direction in what it is I should be doing.

I have found that very often I just need to “let go” and let it play out. To relax, and yes, to “trust in the Lord”.  To kick myself out of His way so that I do not obstruct His plans and He may work in my life.

This can be scary, this letting go, especially in the beginnings of healing from abortion. So often we felt so out of control it is difficult to  allow anyone, even God Himself, to “direct “ our paths, yet, with counsel, prayer and faith, in doing this we will come to know that no matter how scary, no matter now opposite our personal desires, no matter what, if we trust pray for and follow the will of God all will be well for there is nowhere else in heaven or on earth where we will be more at peace.

The Art of Enabling

Enable. Verb; to make possible or easy

One of the toughest things I had to learn when I became a drug and alcohol abuse counselor was how not to enable the clients entrusted to my care.

It was a painful lesson. A lesson that challenged me to look at myself and decide if what I was doing was truly for the good of my client, or was it somehow fulfilling the desire I had to be needed and to be a success.

Though at the time I didn’t think so, I had a great supervisor, I thought she was picking on me, but in reality she taught me many valuable lessons that I applied in my own healing from abortion and carried into my work with others who were suffering. I often say that God, in those days, was preparing me to develop  “Entering Canaan” .  Sometimes what is necessary and good for people in healing is not what we want to do, and things that might make us totally uncomfortable, we need to do anyway for the good of their healing.

I will never forget one young man I had as a client.  It is no secret that when you do counseling, you are naturally drawn to some personalities while other bring out counter transference issues. I was definitely enabling him, until my supervisor called me out on it, showing me the many ways I was acting counterproductive to his sobriety. I had to learn that it was crucial for me to remain objective for the good of the treatment of the client, whether I personally liked them or not.

 It was not always easy.  But, amazingly, sometimes the clients I had the most aversion to were the ones I ended up loving the most. A lesson from God for sure.

When people seek healing, whether from drug and alcohol abuse or abortion, or anything else, they can tend cling to those helping them, because it is the first time they feel they are being heard, understood, and accepted in spite of their terrible sins.  Accompanying  a person while they heal, however, means helping the person to become whole and independent. It means wanting them to learn what they need for healing and providing the tools so eventually they will not need your accompaniment anymore.

Healing from abortion requires you to take an honest look at your personal abortion experience, learn what your personal abortion connectors are discover ways to deal with them so they do not impact your life. It also requires you to take advantage of those who went before you to learn the tricks of the trade and what worked for them in the hopes that some may work for you as well.  It means turning your life over to God who knows all of your sins and forgives you in the sacrament, and trying, one day at a time, to live life according to His will for you, not someone else’s.

It is easy to become so grateful for someone who seems to understand you after abortion . After all, many of us have been carrying the weight for years, living in hell before we step out for healing.  But, we must be sure that we do not lose ourselves in others because we do not trust ourselves. We must trust God and seek the healing that He has in store for each of us as the individual person He created us to be, and not what others want us to become.

We need to prayerfully consider in what ways He then wants us to reach out, again, not in ways that others may want, because we feel guilty,  or that we need to make up for our abortions, but because it is truly His will.

Through proper help and spiritual direction, life can be good again. Healing does not mean you will forget, but it does mean that you will have His peace and trust in His promises and that you live each day trying to do His will for you by His grace.

Our Lady of Sorrows

 

"The culminating point of Mary's trials of faith was her presence at the foot of the Cross. It was there that she witnessed how her Son 'spurned and avoided by men,/a man of suffering' (Is 53:3), was agonizing on the Cross. She, who believed against all hope, manifested the heroism of obedience in faith."

(In the Arms of Mary, pg. 134)

 

"who believed against all hope, manifested the heroism of obedience in faith."
In healing from abortion I believe that is what we need to do..."believe against all hope"
It is easy to despair. To allow feelings of hopelessness overwhelm us when we are having a hard day. To focus on ourselves and our pain instead of Christ and the fact that He died on the cross for our sin.

When you are sinking into despair because of your"feelings", ask Mary to help you to "believe against all hope", as she did at the foot of the cross when all looked lost. Never forget the Resurrection followed the crucifixion..a rising to new life...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Alive in the Scars of Mary

So, yesterday I took a ride with someone from the Entering Canaan Ministry to the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa in Doylestown,PA, for the unveiling of the mosaic of the Living Crown of Our Lady  to mark the 300th anniversary of her crowning as Queen of Poland.

The mosaic was entirely made up of photographs  that people sent in of themselves to the Shrine which then were part of her living crown.

As most of you know (and have heard me say a million times) she is the patroness of the Entering Canaan Ministry ; a result of prayers revealed to my heart, when I did not even know who she was. In time, I learned why she wanted to be our patroness, which you can read about in the previous link.

I have had a deep devotion to Our Lady of Czestochowa for many many years and actually do a perpetual daily novena to her which began over 25 years ago for my fathers' conversion. She did not let me down.

Ten years ago Fr Mariusz Koch, CFR, and I also led a pilgrimage for post abortive women to her shrine in Jasa Gora, Poland, where we brought our book of the names of our children and placed them on the altar. A few years ago, Ocean to Ocean, a pilgrimage of the  traveling icon toured the world. I remember being in awe as I read  it was about to embark on its journey, that one of the intentions was for the healing of those who have experienced abortion. There is no doubt she has  had this intention in her heart and had been revealing it to many.

When I walked into the church yesterday I could not believe the size of the mosaic. How amazing, that so many submitted

Here I am on the image

a photo and that this breathtaking image was made up of the pictures of so many of her children who loved her.

Bishop  John O. Barres of Rockville Center, New York was the main celebrant of the Mass. His beautiful homily on Mary, "What do you see when you look at her?" , brought me to tears more than once, reminding us to always invite her to the celebration of our lives as she was a Cana, always pointing to her Son.

I also found out that you could search the image online for your photo, so when I came home I began the process of looking, to see just where I was on the icon. It took me a while to move around the image. With so many photographs making up the mosaic it was hard to navigate, but I was determined to find out where my picture was located.

I had mentioned to the woman I was with that I would not be surprised, if in fact, Mary placed me within her wounds so reflective of the wounds of abortion. Wounds society wants to ignore, but which continually come out again no matter how hard they try to cover them. And so, it was really no surprise , but another loving confirmation considering all this image has meant to me through her calling, to find myself exactly there.

The image below shows my photograph. In the left corner is a picture of the entire image with a blue box and an arrow showing where the image is located. It is overwhelming to me to think of being forever there in her scars, she who has given me so much love. I pray to carry this earthly image to heaven, where there we both will be freed from our scars, dwelling with her Son to whom she always leads me.

I am all Yours and all that I have belongs to You, oh most loving Jesus, through Mary Your Most Holy Mother.

Our Lady of Czestochowa, pray for us!

 

Our Lady of Czestochowa

SEPTEMBER 10, 2017

Come and Celebrate with us Closing of the Jubilee Year of the 300 Anniversary of Coronation of the Miraculous Image of Our Lady of Czestochowa.

Mass 11am

Doyleston, PA Shrine

 

 

The Pain of Loss

The past month has been very busy for me.  I spent most of it on the road, back and forth to Virginia, to New Jersey and even Rhode Island and Albany. It has been a whirlwind of travel, helping my son and his family with the birth of a new grandchild and a move to Tokyo, Japan.

My son left 2 weeks ago, while my Daughter in law and two granddaughters head there later this month, although we have already said goodbye. They will be visiting family in California before she leaves.

As the craziness stops, my emotions are taking hold as i find myself teary eyed and already missing them. Although I definitely will be heading their way, it will be months before I see them again. Let's face it, Japan is REALLY far away.

Loss can be a very difficult thing even when you know you are planning to see someone again. The loss of a child to abortion is even more staggering because we know we will not get to see our children in this world.

Still, developing a spiritual relationship and speaking/praying to them daily, really does make them come alive. I have no doubt Joshua is in heaven and involved  in all that I do, and I count on his intercession not only for the ministry but to look out for my living children and family.

So many are reluctant to think about or develop that relationship, but it is in doing so that we bond on a healthy level with our children, remembering the "communion of the saints" of which they are surely a part.

And so I ask Joshua to look after  and intercede for Mike and his family, knowing that he will, as they embark on this new adventure of life in Japan.

 

 

Embracing Abandonment

New article on "Mind & Spirit"

If I had to pick one thing that impacted my life more than anything else, it would be my parents abandoning me when I became pregnant at 17. I had certainly played many scenarios in my head as to how they would react when I told them the news, but because of our Catholic faith, the one thing I did not consider was being thrown out of the house cut off from all I knew and loved, and then pressured to abort my child.

Abandoned and Alone

Abandonment is a terrible thing. The demise of all love by those who you thought loved you most, taking with it any flicker of hope you may have been holding on to. It extinguishes the flame of life in a soul.

Alone, homeless and jobless and having nowhere to go, through that act of ­­­­abandonment, I gave in to the abortion. I remember feeling like I was thrown into the dark abyss, drowning, and although I did not want to abort it seemed to me at the time that it was the only option I had. Sadly, even after giving in, the abandonment was still there and so I found myself with no family and now living with the horrific fact that I had also participated in the death of my unborn son.

It was through this human experience that the fear of abandonment took hold of my life. A paralyzing fear that infiltrated all aspects of my life, intensified by the fact that I had ultimately also abandoned myself and my unborn child.

Life was a living hell ruled by my emotions and fears. Every argument was the end of a relationship, if I even allowed myself to be engaged in one, which of course included friendships. I was terrified to let anyone in, for fear of being abandoned again. It was a sad and lonely existence ruled by depression, anxiety and fear.

 

http://mindspirit.com/embracing-abandonment/