We have all experienced the feeling of being stuck in our healing journey. That place where you feel no movement, or, at times, even feel you are moving in the wrong direction.
We want to see and feel a steady progress and get discouraged when healing is not as quick as we think it ought to be. We manipulate and control events and prayers in the hope of moving forward to where we think we should be. We are inpatient and want it now!
We are unable to see that the perception of moving backwards is often a test too see if in fact we have progressed, and that it challenges us even further in healing the wound and in growing in love.
It is in times like these that we can learn from the saints, who did not concern themselves with where they were, but only with following Christ trusting Him to have them exactly where He wanted them to be, giving them the healing they needed, in His time not theirs.
They understood that they were helpless, and needed God for any movement towards heaven. They knew they were incapable of perfection but by His grace.
One of my favorite examples of this was in the simplicity of St Therese of the Child Jesus, who said:
"I wanted to find an elevator which would raise me to Jesus, for I am too small to climb the rough stairway of perfection. I searched then in the Scripture, for some sign of this elevator, the object of my desires and I read these words coming from the mouth of Eternal Wisdom: 'Whoever is a little one let him come to me.' The elevator which must raise me to heaven is your arms, O Jesus, and for this I have no need to grow up, but rather I have to remain little and become this more and more,"
As we celebrate the feast day of this simple saint, I will remind myself to throw myself into His arms as she did, to let go of my healing, trusting He continues to work in me. To stay out of His way, surrendering to His unconditional love .
St Therese, pray for us!