It is the point of healing.
The joining of ultimate pain with ultimate love.
An act of complete trust and surrender, a climbing on the cross
With Christ there to join Mercy with faithfulness.
I can remember the struggles of faithfulness,
the searching in the dark to find God,
the holding on to His Word because I had tried everything else
and I longed to be healed.
The movement in spite of the pain, the darkness, the fear,
because there was nothing to lose, there could be no greater hell
than the one I created for myself.
I begged and pleaded with Gad reminding Him of His promises in spite of me.
I worked at chipping my remains away, fighting myself so I could reach complete surrender.
There were many times when I needed encouragement to continue,
My temptations and bouts with despair.
Times when I felt I couldn’t go on, but God provided the people necessary
to give me the push I needed, the words I had to hear, the strength to hang on.
I continually pleaded for the saint's intercession and especially entrusted myself to Mary & Joseph.
And finally, one day alone with Jesus, because He is the only one who can heal,
I trusted enough to climb on the cross, to be one with the pain and love that exists there and to allow that love to fill the deep wounds that I had.
There, His mercy met my faithfulness and I finally felt healed from my abortion.
I suddenly understood so much of scripture.
So much of it was then fulfilled in me, such a gift given.
I felt like Mary Magdalene at the foot of the cross.
Immense love had taken on immense sin and had washed away its stains.
To be sure, the process of healing from abortion is painful and delicate, but with the right help and trust in God, even if not "felt" it is possible.
Jesus in His mercy longs to heal us...we in our faithfulness need to persevere.
