Reclaiming Our Children

A Pro Life Hero

People have different ideas of pro life heroes. Certainly, there are many prominent wonderful people in some amazing organizations in the pro life movement, but for me the heroes tend to be the quiet humble souls doing the will of God each day, sacrificing and being faithful to the cause with no regard for themselves.

Last Friday night we lost one of those heroes, Alan Mehldau.

Alan worked tirelessly for the cause of life, opening the Life Center at St Mary's parish in Katonah, where he worked to educate and activate people to protect life in all of its stages.

He also Chaired the Northern Westchester and Putnam Vicariate Respect Life Committee, St. Mary's Respect Life Society and served on the board of the NY State Right to Life Committee. 

Alan also knew the importance of offering healing to those who had participated in abortion and was a great supporter of the work of Lumina and Entering Canaan, offering Christ's love and compassion to those who had made the decision to abort.

With all he did, that was not who Alan was. As he preached dignity and respect for life he lived it and showed it to all who came in contact with him. His wonderful sense of humor and love of God drew many to him. 

Alan will be greatly missed, but I know he is still working with us in a place much better, with the unborn and his beloved wife Pam right beside him.

Rest in peace Alan....it was a great gift to have known you in this life...look forward to seeing you again in the next.

 

 

 

Love will End Abortion/A Journey to Healing

Hi Everyone!

I am writing to tell you about a radio show I will be doing with Jim Havens on July 1oth from 4pm - 5pm EST. "Love Will End Abortion" (www.lovewillendabortion.com) is pro life radio program.

Everyone who works in post abortion ministry can testify to the many blocks that come up for those in the healing process. In this first of four shows, we will be speaking about the summer section of my book "A Journey to Healing Through Divine Mercy" and will address specific issues where people tend to get stuck in their process of healing.

We will also be taking live calls.
Please pass the info on to those in your ministry.
Information is in the flyer to listen and to participate by calling the show live

 

Turn Back the Hands of Time after Abortion

There is an old song by R&B singer Tyrone Davis named, “Turn Back the Hands of Time." It is written about a relationship, but I think if you passed the lyrics on to anyone who has had an abortion, they would be able to relate. 

Can't sleep at night always think about you
But if I had the chance to start all over
I would be wishing today on a four leaf clover
And leaving you with the last thing on my mind
If I could turn back the hands of time

The great deception of believing life will return back to the way it was before the abortion is still living and breathing among us. Often feeling desperate, there is a great desire to trust that we can go ahead and abort without any repercussions only to find out this is far from the truth.

Even the most staunch pro-choicer would admit to moments of melancholy. Even if they are adamant in believing they made the “right choice,” there still is emptiness, and thoughts of birthdays missed and of their child that is not there.

It would take a very cold heart to have an abortion with no impact. Although those who claim that that's how they feel, seem to brag, as if that is a good thing, I would never want to be able to participate in the taking of the life of my child and have it have no impact on me.

 …can't hold out much longer
Oh the pain's so deep and the hurt is getting stronger
But if I had just one more try…
If I could turn back the hands of time…

We, as post-abortive parents, may not be able to “turn back the hands of time," but we can move ahead to healing and wholeness. We can reclaim our children on a spiritual level as God has desired to give them to us. We can accept His forgiveness and His love in humility, and we can and should forgive ourselves.

If we truly turn ourselves over to Him, working through our healing, we will come to know that maybe we cannot turn back the hands of time, but we can look forward to the future when we will share eternity with our children and with God who is Mercy Himself!

For information and resources on healing from abortion, please visit Lumina, Hope & Healing After Abortion. 

Love Will End Abortion Radio Series

Are you suffering from a past abortion? Are you in the process of healing but sometimes feel stuck in the issues that arise?  

On July 10, 2018, Jim Havens, host of the radio show "Love Will End Abortion" will have the first of four live programs with Theresa, discussing her book, A Journey To Healing Through Divine Mercy.  Come join us LIVE as we walk with you, and take a look at the struggles met on the journey to healing and how you can combat them.  

Listen live beginning on July 10th from 4-5:00 pm. Click here for details and for the live stream of the radio show.

Humanae Vitae at 50 - Conference Reminder

Please join us on July 21, 2018, for a conference commemorating the 50th Anniversary of Humanae Vitae, "On Human Life."  A day of prayer, study and reflection at Immaculate Conception Church, Tuckahoe, New York.  Speakers will be Fr. Donald Haggerty, Dr. Peter Kreeft, and Theresa Bonopartis.  Click here to get your tickets today!

 

Shrine to the Unborn-Tokyo

I have really been enjoying my time in Japan, both my family and the Japanese culture.

There is so much respect from a sparkling clean city, to how they walk on sidewalks and subways, to almost everything they do.

The shrines have been amazing to see, and in some instances seem so similar to our religious practices. Of course, the most important part is missing, the Eucharist, but I have developed a deeper appreciation for the culture here.

Not surprisingly, my favorite spot has been the shrine to the unborn. Children lost before birth.  I'll write more on it when I get home but wanted to share these pictures.

 

 

 

Fruit of the Heart

“Mission is not fruit of a program or agenda. Rather it is the
fruit of hearts who themselves have known Divine Mercy.” Pope Francis

When I read these words of Pope Francis from the Bull of Indiction of the Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy, I could not help but reflect on the work of the “Entering Canaan” post-abortion ministry, which is the fruit of my heart which has been blessed to know the Divine Mercy of God, intimately.

With the realization of this great gift and the freedom it bestowed on me from shame, guilt, anxiety, and a host of other issues, came the desire to make known the availability of this gift for others suffering as I had.

Using the challenges I faced and the means I had worked through them, both in faith and psychologically to crush the barriers to my healing, the ministry was formed. As multifaceted as life, not done in one swift swoop, but as the Israelites through a journey of healing to the heart of Christ, who revealed His love, mercy, and forgiveness, and aided me along the way.

Through trust in this tangible Mercy which He freely gave to me, I found the courage to continue each time I was tempted to quit or give up hope. I chose to believe even when all belief seemed impossible.

This experience of healing then called me, with the help of The Sisters of Life, to pave a way for others who were suffering, knowing the graces were there for each of them. It has been amazing to watch His mercy touch countless souls over the years and heal them to the core of their being.

“Entering Canaan” is not the only ministry to offer healing after abortion, but God’s mercy is the same in each. That fruit of the heart which has known it intimately and then shares it with others who know through personal experience, the hope of healing given through Christ.

I have learned the journey does not end in this life. It can sometimes be very difficult, especially when we feel betrayed or deeply hurt by those we love or thought we could trust.  But, it is through this same fruit of the heart, that we chose to forgive, this Divine Mercy that is Christ and ours to cling to, to trust, to grow into deeper union with, and to continue to spread the message of redemption. 

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If you, or someone you know, is hurting from a past abortion, there is hope. There is healing.
Visit www.postabortionhelp.org or call 1-877-586-4621 today.

The Grace of Shame

Shame on You!

If any of us have had those words spoken to us as a child; most likely we would have recoiled in horror. Our eyes downcast in a gesture of hiding, we were certain that the entire world could see the act we did to bring on such a statement.  That shame found its permanent dwelling in neon lights above our head. It would be a while before we ventured out before our accuser, hoping the lights had burnt out, or at least dimmed so as not to draw attention to ourselves. We would watch their reaction to seeing, if in fact, the shame was lifted and we could go on with our lives or if we needed to continue, half-alive for a while longer.

Many women and men who are post abortive live every day of their lives with shame. They can never get away from the accuser and the “neon” light never dims because the accuser and accused are one and the same... themselves. Hidden shame is projected on all of their relationships, causing them to live in the fear that they will be “found out” and that everyone will see the neon light shining down on them.

Post abortive women and men draw a connection to this shame even when there is no connection to be made. One woman I know expressed this in a recent trip to a cemetery that has a tomb for the unborn. “I wanted to pray before the tomb but it is right near the cemetery office. I just could not bring myself to let anyone see me there.” When I asked her if she thought everyone who prayed before that tomb was post abortive, that in fact, many people who are not probably stop to say a prayer, she expressed that she had never thought of that. For her, it was a sure admittance of the death of her unborn child, the neon light pointing to her shame.

Read the rest of our pamphlet, "The Grace of Shame" here.

Click here to view a list of all of the pamphlets and materials Lumina has available for hope and healing after abortion.

Social Abortion

There is a saying that the Elliot Institute uses which I find to be so true, it says that many women are "socially aborted" before they ever step foot into a clinic.  Threats of rejection by boyfriends, spouses, family members, and friends are often the motivating factors in making the decision to abort.

Thoughts and fear of abandonment and alienation by loved ones, often too painful to bear, make it seem easier to choose between those familiar and an unborn child never seen, or it may cause the belief that the child does not even exist yet. But, the reality of abortion often sets in, with birthdays never celebrated, hugs never were given or received, anniversary dates, and an ever-present void filled with guilt, shame, and grief.

Social abortion, however, does not end with the death of the unborn child. As “OK” as abortion is supposed to be, it carries a stigma. No one likes to speak of it unless it is in broad terms.  Objection to abortion itself and the personal pain of abortion is avoided like the plague. People are just not comfortable with it. Everyone knows inside their hearts that the life of an innocent has been taken.

I have gotten into “discussions” with well-meaning prolifers who feel the need to remind those of us who are post abortive of the severity of our sin. I have seen the use of saying such as “abortion is homicide," and “abortion is murder” do more harm than good. Many find it condemning and judgmental. I have been chided for speaking out against it, being told to be careful, I will “turn some pro lifers off." Little regard is given to the souls those words are killing.

The prevalent message seems to be “we know better than you… let us do this.” I have come to find that is not true. The aborting of women by both sides is just as lethal, perhaps even more so, because it kills the soul, the life source to living in heaven.

A 15-year-old who called herself “Freaky Ally” wrote to me once. She was distraught over an abortion her mother made her have. I kept thinking of Ally seeing the shirt “abortion is homicide."  I think it would be enough to send her over the edge. No one needs to remind her she killed her child. She lives with it each day. It is her baby that she will never hold in this life.

I have also been told that it is not the responsibility of pro lifers to guard speech for post-abortive people and that they need to proclaim the evil of abortion. Perhaps they need to be reminded of the sheer magnitude of people abortion effects. Everyone knows someone, everyone is touched, the post abortive are everywhere. While the evil of abortion always needs to be proclaimed, the way in which it is needs to be reevaluated.

The killing of life can come in all forms. Although abortion can never be justified and is always wrong, the killing of hope or the life of a soul is also offensive to God. Perhaps before passing judgment on others, we need to look at who we are aborting in our hearts.

*******

If you or someone you know is hurting from a past abortion, there is hope. There is healing.
Visit www.postabortionhelp.org or call 1-877-586-4621 today.

Connecting the Dots when Healing from an Abortion

Everyone is familiar with the children’s books where you compose a picture by connecting numerically marked dots. Following the sequence, the scrambled image soon takes the form of an identifiable object. What seemed incomprehensible becomes a familiar form and confusion becomes understandable, leaving you free to bring it to life with color and then move on to the next picture.

 

In the quest for healing from a past abortion, each person has their own “Connecting the Dots” book. A series of people, places, things, or smells over reacted to in the here and now, because they are subconscious reminders of an abortion in the past. Without identifying these connectors, life can be a roller coaster ride of anger, fear, resentment, anxiety and other emotions triggered from the past dictating the present and future.

 

 Each person has their own personal connectors depending on their experience of abortion, but many share common connectors.

 

 A few common connectors may include:

 

Abortion anniversary date

 

Pregnant women

 

Pregnancy due dates

 

Babies

 

Controlling people

 

Being out of control

 

Fear of abandonment

 

Vacuum cleaners

 

Doctors/nurses

 

Indecisiveness

 

Intimacy

 

Countless women relay feelings of being crazy because they are aware they are  over reacting to situations in their lives. They have no idea that what is happening is direct result of abortion. Once they are able to identify their personal abortion connectors they can step back and examine their feelings before they react to situations. The connecting dots will make the picture understandable and the power of the emotions can then be dealt with where they should be, in the abortion experience, instead of impacting current situations.

 

 No Mayo Please

 

As a teenager, I was pressured into an unwanted abortion. After hiding my pregnancy for over four months I found myself undergoing a saline abortion.

 

For those not familiar with the saline abortion procedure, your abdomen is injected with saline solution. This causes your unborn child to burn to death and you to enter labor, eventually giving birth to a dead baby.  My son was dumped into a large plastic jar marked “3A." The jar resembled a mayonnaise jar only on a much larger scale.

 

Years later while working as a waitress I experienced great anxiety every time I needed to go into the walk-in refrigerator but was completely unaware as to the reason why. It was not until years later during my own healing that I understood the jars on the shelf of that walk-in used for salad dressings were a major abortion connector for me. Once identified, this jar connector lost its power over me.

 

Losing your Way

 

Sally was a college girl I saw for post abortion counseling many years after my own healing. She would visit me weekly from her college campus.

 

When the summer break came, she returned home with plans to resume in the fall.

 

Sometime during the summer Sally felt a need to come in and decided to make the trip to NY to see me. By the time she got to the office she was frazzled and overcome with fear and anxiety.

 

Sally had gotten lost and was overreacting to a situation easily rectified for most people. Upon further discussion we found out she had gotten lost on her way to the clinic the day of her abortion. Getting lost was a major connector for her.

 

Keep that Carriage Away from Me

 

Mary went into a rage every time she saw a baby carriage or a baby. She became so angry that she often would state she was afraid of what she would do.

 

When her brother and his wife were expecting their first child, she went out of her way to try to avoid any situation where she would have to be with them. Of course, they did not understand why and this damaged their relationship.

 

Even a walk in the city had become a painful event. Babies and carriages were connectors for her.  Once Mary entered counseling, she was able to work through the anger she felt regarding her own abortion. She was then free to able to enjoy her family again including her new niece.

 

Composing the Picture

 

Identifying personal connectors make the picture of post abortion reactions understandable.

 

Informing family members and friends who know of the abortion experience of your connectors will enable them to help when your reactions to the present  do not fit the situation at hand, thus providing the opportunity to work through the real issues.

 

Abortion connectors can take many forms. They can be certain clothes, smells, resemblances of people involved, feelings of abandonment or rejection, certain music, or even waiting on line.

 

A good post abortion program or mental health professional can work with you to identify your personal connectors giving you the tools you need to heal effectively.

 

Most importantly, as these connectors are surfaced and brought to consciousness, their power will diminish bringing a new freedom and hope and a renewed ability to enjoy life again.