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O Sacred Heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us miserable sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of you, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary, your tender Mother and ours.
St. Margaret Mary Alacoque
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One of the deepest pains we can feel is the betrayal of those we thought loved us. In those times. we need to keep our eyes on Jesus and unite our suffering to His who truly knows what it feels like.
It is not easy, especially when you loved and trusted, and shared the deepest recesses of your heart, but with His help you can move past it.
Here is something I wrote about a very deep pain of betrayal I have experienced.
A shattered heart I came to see
That’s living deep inside of me
A million pieces strewn around
like pebbles scattered on the ground.
A spirit crushed and scattered wide,
an open wound, no place to hide
I’ve searched for the pieces to mend this heart
But they don’t fit, it’s still apart
In my human frailty,
I am finding out it can’t be me
These wounds which are so deep within
Need the touch of the Divine Physician
They’re Blessed wounds I now can see
Cause they empty my “self” for His life in me.
So, come Holy Spirit gather my soul
May healing my heart be Your very goal
May His blood poured out for me be the glue
To mend this heart with the love that is You
Then consumed by Your love may I then come to see
That Your only desire is union with me.
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"O Sacred Heart of Jesus, for whom it is impossible not to have compassion on the afflicted, have pity on us poor sinners and grant us the grace which we ask of You, through the Sorrowful and Immaculate heart of Mary, Your tender mother and ours." (from the Novena to the Sacred Heart)
The image above is from an "Entering Canaan" weekend we had one summer at "Camp St Joseph". The theme I chose was "Living in the heart of Jesus". One of things we asked the women to do was to write their names on the board of the Sacred Heart you see in front of the altar.
Many wrote their names within the heart, some wrote them in the white area surrounding the heart, some on the edges, and others deep in the middle of His Sacred Heart.
There is no question that our names are etched into the heart of Jesus in spite of any sins we may have comitted. He calls us to His embrace, telling us this is so, but when we are immersed in pain and working our way to healing, it is sometimes hard to see or believe that we are within His heart. In fact, we may even be fearful of being there for fear of his judgement. We may still not believe such a sin can be forgiven. Still, we are always there in His heart, whether we will to be or not. The question is, how open are we to allowing Him in our hearts? Our signature can be a reflection of this. A sign of where we are in our healing.
As our healing grows, we recognize and want to be in His heart. We do not judge by our feelings which can be fleeting and changing depending on our moods, or the events of the day, but instead by a "knowing". A knowing that He is working in our lives, has forgiven us if we have confessed, and is leading us deeper into His heart and a life with Him.
As we write our names, are we in the white section, distant from Him? Are we on the border, still not sure and moving with caution, or have we opened our hearts to dwell in the depths of His?
"The mercy of God gives life to man, it raises him from the dead. The Lord is always watching us with mercy, [always] awaits us with mercy. Let us be not afraid to approach him! He has a merciful heart! If we show our inner wounds, our sins, He always forgives us. He is pure mercy! Let us never forget this: He is pure mercy! Let us go to Jesus!" Pope Francis
Let us embrace the mercy and forgiveness of Jesus trusting Him and opening ourselves so that our hearts shares the rhythm of His as He embraces us!
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A while I ago I got a request for a talk in which the topic was “Think Outside the Box: A Discussion on Abortion”. I was a little perplexed. What did they mean, “Think Outside the Box”? As I prayed about what the Lord wanted me to say, I realized that thinking outside of the box has been the problem in our society. We have been thinking outside the box for over 40 years, afraid to peer in for fear of what we would find. Perhaps it is time to look inside the box of abortion…a place where we all aide the denial of its impact on us all.
This is the place society does not want to look at, in fact it will go to any means to avoid, for in the box of abortion we will see the emmense damage it has done, not only by killing the unborn, but to the mothers, fathers, grandparents, sibling, friends and to society in general.
In the over 40 years since Roe vs Wade we have had 60 million abortions in our country. It is such a divisive issue, it has even become a litmus test to the appoint of judges to our highest courts or elect the leader of our country. We all know someone who is post abortion.
They are all hiding in that box that no one wants to open, because we have been told to do so would hurt them more, and yet they are there, suffering in silence because no one will allow them to express their grief or to validate their feelings. In fact ther very experiences are often denied. I am here to say do not be afraid to open the box. You can be pro life and still reach out to those who are suffering without judgment
I am post abortive. I was coerced into an abortion by my dad . I suffered for over 15 years before I found the help I needed to work through my abortion. No one wanted to address it. I was told over and over again to “get over it”, “ it is in your past” but the thing is, it was never in my past, it followed me and influenced the decisions I made in my life every day. My story is not so different from millions of other women. I was one of the blessed ones to finally find the right help. But in addition to me, my abortion touched countless other people. My mom, my dad, my sibling and even the future children I would have. It was not until we addressed the issue that my family was able to heal.
Countless numbers of families are struggling because of a past abortion that no one wants to speak of, or maybe, they do not even know about. In my work I have had many teenagers come to saying “my parents know something is wrong, they say I have changed…they just do not know why”. Or a husband who is married to someone who is suffering from an abortion she had before she met him…or the woman whose husband pressured a past girlfriend to abort and is now feeling guilt ridden. And then there are the siblings who feel guilt for being alive knowing a brother or sister is dead. Through their own grief they seek to help their parent who they know is suffering greatly.
Abortion is always wrong, and we should always defend the unborn, but as a Church and people, we should also be reaching out to those who are suffering because of a past abortion. Their souls are just as precious to God. I truly believe that if we reach out to those who are suffering for no other reason than because they are children of God and He longs to have them reunited to Him that God will take care of the rest. Like Pope JPII said in the Gospel of Life “You can become one of the most eloquent defender of human life” Who better to speak for these children that their parents who know first hand the devastation of abortion?
And so I challenge you all to open the box. Do you know someone post abortive? Maybe if they know you know you can just ask them how they are doing and listen.
In the end, there is another box we all need to look to. The tabernacle.
In it dwells Mercy Himself, Jesus Christ, and ultimately, only He can end abortion.
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I usually try to stay away from this kind of thing on this blog but it needs to be said. I sent this to the Daily News but no surprise, they did not print it. It is frustrating as someone who has experienced abortion herself and works with those hurting from abortion everyday, that the dialogue continues to be untrue and we are not given a voice. Abortion hurts women. we know we have been there. Enough with the lies....
As with the Reproductive Health Act, New York may once again lead the way for another extreme pro-abortion agenda.
In a May 15th Daily News article, “NYC could be the first to directly fund abortions under proposal”, in a blatant display of hypocrisy, Caitlin Van Horn of the New York Abortion Access Fund says “The city relies on the labor of unpaid volunteers to close gaps, and that is not right.”
These very same people have no problem forcing taxpayers, who on religious or moral grounds are opposed to abortion, to pay for the procedure. They also have no problem inflicting distress on those of us who have had an abortion experience by forcing us to pay for abortions when we found them to be anything but safe, physically, mentally and emotionally.
According to the article, NYC Comptroller Scott Stringer, along with pro abortion advocates is attempting to place $250,000 in next years budget to directly fund abortion. Abortion Access is under attack”, said Stringer in a talk at City Hall Park, but the reality is, what is really under attack are women themselves.
This fund, it is said, will help cover abortion care for 500 to 600 patients and would help anyone, whether they live in state or out.
I would like to ask Mr. Stringer, what funds do you have in the NYC budget for mental health for those women suffering after abortion (of course they continue to deny this but I and millions of other women who have had abortions beg to differ), or for the physical health for those who have been damaged, or how about compensation to families for those women who have died.
Mr. Stringer says he wants no financial barrier to “safe abortion and health care.” If that is the case, perhaps Mr. Stringer and his council and advocates should pay more attention on what is going on in the clinics right under their noses. Ambulances have transported seven patients from New York’s Margaret Sanger Center Planned Parenthood abortion facility on Bleeker Street, in NYC, during a 16-week time span from February 16 to June 7, 2019. Where is the concern for the safety and health of those women?
In the same article Andrea Miller, president of the National Institute for Reproductive Health Action Fund states, “It is a shocking and appalling time.” On this we can agree. It is shocking and appalling that here in New York State:
• A baby can be killed throughout all nine months of pregnancy.
• That non physicians can perform abortions
• That there is no protection in place for born-alive infants
• That protections from criminal acts of violence against a pregnant woman’s unborn child have been repealed
• That people who oppose abortion are forced to pay for it
• That the very real harm of abortion to millions of women continues to be denied
• That while we seek to provide free abortions, those suffering struggle to find not only free resources to assist them in their healing, but people who will validate their very real experiences.
• That no media coverage is given to emergencies at clinics like Margaret Sangers when women are harmed by abortion.
Let’s be honest here, as someone who not only has personally experienced abortion but has been working with other women harmed by abortion for twenty years, it is not the health and safety of women that is being protected but the very act of abortion itself.
What is more shocking and appalling than that.
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There is an old song by R&B singer Tyrone Davis named, “Turn Back the Hands of Time”. It is written about a relationship, but I think if you passed the lyrics on to anyone who has had an abortion, they would be able to relate.
Can't sleep at night always think about you
But if I had the chance to start all over
I would be wishing today on a four leaf clover
And leaving you with the last thing on my mind
If I could turn back the hands of time
The great deception of believing life will return back to the way it was before abortion is still living and breathing among us. Often feeling desperate, there is a great desire to trust that we can go ahead and abort without any repercussions only to find out this is far from the truth.
Even the most stanch pro choicer would admit to moments of melancholy. Even if they are adamant in believing they made the “right choice” there still is emptiness, and thoughts of birthdays missed, and their child that is not there.
It would take a very cold heart to have an abortion with no impact. Although those who say that feel that way seem to brag as if that is a good thing, I would never want to be able to participate in the taking of the life of my child and have it have no impact on me.
…can't hold out much longer
Oh the pain's so deep and the hurt is getting stronger
But if I had just one more try…
If I could turn back the hands of time…
We, as post abortive parents may not be able to “turn back the hands of time”, but we can move ahead to healing and wholeness. We can reclaim our children on a spiritual level as God has desired to give them to us. We can accept His forgiveness and His love in humility, and we can and should forgive ourselves.
If we truly turn ourselves over to Him, working through our healing we will come to know that maybe we cannot turn back the hands of time, but we can look forward to the future when we will share eternity with our children and with God who is Mercy Himself!
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Boy, does that phrase trigger memories of my daughter’s death by abortion. Twenty-seven years later, the painful memories still come flooding back. Mary Beth and I were walking through the big department stores in the mall. It was the Saturday before Father’s Day. People were shopping for their fathers and with their fathers. Stacks of bright sport shirts, ties and golf clothing were everywhere. Large posters with pictures of handsome, happy fathers holding their beautiful children hung all over the stores.
I remember feeling as though my soul twisted and s napped. Father’s Day was very painful that year. It was as if it slammed into me and made me face that I had done; what no father should ever do – participate in the death of his firstborn daughter. How could I have denied my daughter her life? How could I have agreed to the abortion and paid for it? It was less than a month since my daughter had been aborted.
I carried that pain and guilt in secret all for many years. I never spoke to anyone about the abortion, and although I have told some family members and attended a ministry, I still have not been able to tell my own Dad about his granddaughter who was aborted.
I pray to God the Father for the grace to tell my Dad. I pray for the grace of continued healing. I pray that St. Joseph – Father of the Holy Family – leads all fathers of aborted children to God’s ministers of mercy. I also thank God for the privilege of being a father to three children in heaven, and one on earth. Lastly, I thank Him for the gift of my Dad and the loving example of fatherhood that he has given me.
May God Bless all father’s this Father’s Day. -T
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Wisdom enables us to see life from God’s perspective. From a purely human point of view, so much of what we experience may not make sense when we focus on the material things of the world instead of looking at things from the perspective of everlasting life.
As we work through healing from abortion, wisdom can show us how God can use even this for good. Not that He wanted it, but that in spite of our weaknesses; He can turn even abortion into something that brings us closer to Him in showing us our dependence on Him. In our humility, we recognize how we were living life according to worldly standards.
Lord, give us your Spirit of Wisdom that we may see the world not as our final destination, but as a road to heaven.
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