Reclaiming Our Children

Is Post Abortion Healing for Men Necessary?

This is the question I am almost assured of getting every time I raise the awareness of the importance for our society to pay attention to the need for post-abortion healing in men.  In a sex saturated society it seems surprising to me that people seem to know so very little about the facts of life.  A mother cannot produce a child on her own; she needs a male’s participation for this to happen.  Consequently, when a child is put to death in an abortion, it results in a death for a mother and a father, a death that needs to be dealt with through the normal process of grieving.

There are several forces which inhibit a man in his attempt to address the issues arising from the killing of his child.  Notice first of all that I used the words.  'Killing of his child.’ This statement contains two influences which hinder a man in taking ownership regarding what has happened in an abortion. 

First of all the word 'killing'.  The word 'killing' suggests that something was alive.  In order to kill something, it needs to, at one point, be alive.  At the point of conception, the material in the womb of the mother is a human being.  Left alone without any tampering, the embryo becomes a living, human person.  Every one of us on earth was once a one-second-old embryo.  I was once a one-second-old embryo and so were you who are reading this article.  We all were the fetuses that were.  Science verifies this through the field of genetics and spirituality verifies this through Holy Scripture.  What is extracted and destroyed in an abortion is, therefore, a human being. 

The first hindrance that a man need get past are euphemisms such as ‘abortion.’ A man needs to realize that abortion is actually killing, and, in reality, murder.  It wasn't just a clump of cells.  It wasn't just a product of conception.  It wasn't just the termination of a pregnancy.  It was the killing and death of a viable, unique, human being, his own child.

The second word I would like to look at from this phrase, “killing of his child” is the word “his.” Popular culture would dictate to a man that it's not his body the child is in so he has no say in what becomes of it.  He is told that he has no rights in regards to the life or death of that child.  Legally, he can do nothing to protect him or her if he wants them to live.  This reality in our culture can separate a man from recognizing that while this was the mother’s child that has died,  it was also his child.  It makes it difficult to take ownership of what has happened to his son or daughter.

If a man can get past the forces that support his denial - he then has to begin to look at his guilt, shame, remorse, and anger.  To narrow down kinds of circumstances a post-abortive man has found himself in, one can look at (a) man who has forced his partner into an abortion; or (b) a man who wanted his child, but has had his partner kill it.  Both men will have the natural law of God within him convicting his conscience of what he has done and releasing emotions to coincide with his experience.  Many men at this point, in order to escape the speaking conscience, turn to chemicals to dull the pain and silence its voice. 

In the first case, if a man forced his partner into an abortion, he will inevitably experience the residue of emotions such as guilt, shame, remorse, and self-hatred.  God releases those emotions in spite of a man's intellectual opinion on the issue.  If the man wanted the child and the woman aborted the child against his will, he will have to deal with the anger and powerlessness that he feels as a consequence.  There are various dimensions in between these two extremes; however, most categories will result in the onset of emotions such as guilt, shame, remorse, and anger.

Healing weekends for post abortive men address all of these issues.  They allow a man to process the events of these issues in his life in a safe and protected environment.  If a man can summon the courage to face the skeletons in his closet, I know from experience that God can bring him to a place of healing and restoration.  The abortion my girlfriend had left me bewildered, guilty, shameful, angry, hopeless and grieving.  At the time, I had no words to describe the turmoil I entered into afterwards.  It was only through reconciling me with God and entering into a journey of healing that I was able to untangle the mass of emotions that were lumped together inside of me.  Alcohol did not work, drugs did not work, and sex did not work.  Turning to a loving, forgiving, healing, and restoring God did work and continues to work in restoring me from a place of destruction to a place of victory. 

“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief,” said the apostle Paul.  He knew what it was like to consent to the death of an innocent person, just like I did.  He also knew what God could do with a life totally yielded to him.  Let Jesus take the lid off of the Pandora's Box of an abortion experience and allow the master physician to bring the restoration you need.  He did it for Paul, He's doing it for me, and he can do it for you.

~ Scott Miller (reprint)

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The next Men’s Day of Prayer & Healing is scheduled for Saturday, November 16, 2019

 

Blessed to know Fr Fidelis, in the Heart of RRR

So I tried to get this in a bunch of publications (secular) to no avail. One told me they would publish it but then had it for months and it never went in. So, I guess God  is telling me I am just suppose to post it myself! As I have said before, this may not be for everyone, but for sure it is a nonviolent sacrifice He is calling some to. Please God, in the hope of being the last attempt to save not only the life of the unborn but of the spiritual lives of the moms and dads (and others) too. I am so grateful to all those laying down their lives. May Mary hold them each closely under her mantle! 

Father Fidelis Moscinski, CFR, walked out of a church in lower Manhattan the first Saturday in March as he does every first Saturday, to lead a rosary procession marking the beginning of an annual, internationally-coordinated pro-life campaign called 40 Days for Life to Planned Parenthood’s Margaret Sanger Center two blocks away on Bleecker Street. Held twice a year, 40 Days is scheduled to begin again on September 25, 2019.

As was usual, the procession that morning was greeted by pro-abortion protestors angrily chanting “This church harasses women!”. What was different, was the protestors holding a large sign showing a picture of the priest being arrested for participating in a Red Rose Rescue accompanied by their screams of, “Hey, Moscinski, why do you hate women?”

 Nothing could be further from the truth.

 While participating in Red Rose Rescue, the action depicted on the sign, Father Fidelis Moscinski makes his way into the abortion clinic. Once inside, he enters the waiting room where he sits down next to a woman waiting to have an abortion, hands her a red rose, and begins speaking to her quietly about the life inside her. For this, Father Moscinski is called a terrorist by pro-abortionists, and now, is being accused of hating women.
Father Moscinski and others who participate in "Red Rose Rescues," as the quiet interventions are called, pay a price for their activism – a member of the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal he has been arrested several times and has court cases still pending. But in a country where the abortion lobby has made it all but impossible to combat abortion on the ground, Moscinski and others say they can't stand idly by while the silent slaughter continues.

 Father Moscinski is a quiet, gentle and humble priest that I've personally known and worked with for more than 20 years. While it's no surprise that the pro-abortion side is trying to portray him as a terrorist who harasses and hates women, the truth is the priest I know is far from the person they'd have us believe he is.

As a post abortive woman who has worked in healing ministry for almost thirty years, I have seen the real terrorism of abortion in destruction of countless lives of mothers, fathers and siblings.

I've seen the dead body of my own son burnt to death by saline solution, yet those who kill the innocent unborn and participate in these real acts of terror have been quick to throw the terrorist label on this soul who is always there to help a woman in need whether it is before or after an abortion.

Since the passage of Roe vs Wade in 1973, 60 million unborn babies have lost their lives to abortion, which is now presented as a normal part of women’s reproductive health care. Look no further than the coffee table book, “Shout Your Abortion,” where the killing is portrayed as normal and celebrated with cakes, poems, marches and testimonies.

The truth is, abortion is anything but normal.

Abortion not only takes the life of an unborn child; it causes grave suffering to millions of women and men. In fact, seven women were taken by ambulance from the Margaret Sanger Center over the past few months. And, even the pro-abortion research organization, the Guttmacher Institute, acknowledges abortion has a psychological impact.

While abortion is presented as a woman's choice and right, we never hear about the great number of cases in which abortion isn't a woman's choice, the cases where women cave to pressure from boyfriends, husbands, parents or others. Nor is there ever outrage from the pro-abortion side when pregnant women are faced with violence and even killed because they do not want to abort. In fact, the new law removes criminal penalties for illegal abortion procedures from the state’s penal code and rolls back requirements that abortion itself must be performed by a medical doctor.

So, why does Father Fidelis risk arrest and conviction? Because, unlike a large percentage of our society, he's not blind to the truth of what is
happening in our country.

While the women in the clinic waiting room are presented with roses, the Red Rose Rescue itself is a thorn in the side of the pro-abortion movement because it exposes the truth of what is going on, not women’s health care but the killing of innocent human life.

Did you fail to rescue those who were being dragged off to death,*
those tottering, those near death, because you said, “We didn’t know about it”?
Surely, the Searcher of hearts knows and will repay all according to their deeds Proverbs 24: 11-12

In the words of Father to the court we hear:

“A unique human individual begins to exist at the moment of conception. In a sane, civilized society that new human being would have his or her right to life clearly recognized in the law. But we do not live in a sane, civilized society. Since Roe v Wade in 1973 we live in a nation that has permitted the legal destruction of millions of innocent children.

As a Catholic priest I say to this Court that abortion is murder and no law or court decision can make legitimate what is intrinsically evil. Legalized abortion is an abomination in the eyes of Almighty God.

Now is the time for all of us to repent of our complicity in this national evil. It is time to seek forgiveness from God, in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ. It is not too late to turn away from sin and begin to respect the gift of life and the laws of God. “

In the end, for Fr Fidelis it is about saving defenseless babies that are condemned to death for no reason of their own.
It is about the mothers and fathers, who become lost to God because of abortion and longing to bring them to Gods love and mercy.
It is about the abortionists and the clinic workers, who have become blind to what they are doing and through the rescue may obtain the grace to think it about in truth.
It is about guards in the attire of law enforcement as they are called to task in facing who it is, they are arresting and dragging out of the clinic and why.
It is about being the face of Christ in a world where the crowds jump for joy for abortion crying all too often “Crucify Him”, as they seek the death of the unborn.
It is about calling the Pontius Pilates to task in the judges, by not allowing them to wash their hands of the matter in peace but to have to face what it is they are protecting.
It is about this priest being called to be a witness to truth
It is about laying down your life willingly for that truth, and goodness and love. Sacrificing personal freedom in order to be the face of Christ in a disordered world where innocent babies die every day without a word and millions of others live their lives with the consequences.

Yes, we sadly are deaf to the voices of the unborn being slaughtered every day. Does Father Fidelis hate women? Not the Father Fidelis I know and work with, in fact I would say he often loves them more than they love themselves.

Hopefully through the silent solidarity of Father Fidelis and others who peacefully, nonviolently and prayerfully lay down their lives we will finally take heed and hear their cries.

Mary Magdalene

 

When I think of Mary Magdalene, I of course, think of the mercy of God and His forgiveness. 

He touched her with His love and she was changed forever, fearless in her love for Him because she knew what He had freed her from.

Lately, I have also been meditating on her relationship with Mary. Accompanying her on the way of the cross, at the cross and I am sure in the upper room after the crucifixion. A hidden relationship, sharing the sufferings of Christ only they knew. I imagine they were very close, joined in the love of Christ. May I also keep Mary as a companion in this journey through life to keep me always close to Jesus.

Mary Magdalene, help me to always have the courge and strength to proclaim the love of Christ no matter what. May I always be grateful and never forget, not even for a moment the mercy He has shown me...

If you are stuck in feeling "unforgiveable" because of your abortion, just think of and pray to St Mary Magdalene who knows the immensity of sin but also the immensity of God's mercy!

St Mary Magdalene, pray for us!

 

This picture is from the Shrine of Our Lady of Czestochowa

 

A Mother to Joshua Even Now

"Mothers are the strongest antidote to the spread of selfish individualism," --A world without mothers would be "inhumane," -- "because mothers always know how to give witness -- even in the worst of times -- to tenderness, dedication and moral strength."
Pope Francis

The words above were spoken by Pope Francis at his 2015, January 7th audience. Beautiful words which speak to the tenderness and sacrificial love of a mother.

There is a saying in the pro life movement; abortion does not take away the fact that you are a mother, it just makes you the mother of a dead child. How true.

As someone who aborted a child, at one time the pope’s words above could have sent me into despair. A reminder of all I was not, the lack of self sacrifice and an inhumane act that became a part of my life. But the beauty of our faith and the unfathomable love and mercy of God tell us that it is never too late to love. He is always there calling us to Himself, and restoring that which we destroyed through sin.

As Pope John Paul the II said in the Gospel of Life when speaking of abortion, “Nothing is definitively lost.” Why? Because of Jesus Christ and what He has done for us. That through His death, resurrection and ascension He has opened life and the chance to love once again, a living relationship with my child Joshua who He desires for me to take as my own as He intended.

Through my faith in His love and mercy, I am able to, with confidence, reclaim my child and become spiritually the mother I failed to be physically. “Mothers always know how to give witness -- even in the worst of times -- to tenderness, dedication and moral strength."
And so, through the grace of God I give witness, “even in the worst of times” to the dignity of each life, and as ironic as it sounds, to my love and dedication to my aborted son.

I may not have allowed myself to love him on earth, and that act is always wrong, but he is engrained in my heart because I am his mother and a mother’s heart is tenderness. It is sad that so many women find out too late that even abortion cannot take that love away. That love that is part of who we are as human beings made in the image of God, made to give life and nurture our children.

And so, I am eternally grateful for the love of God who used my son through my greatest sin to teach me of true love, His love which gives me the courage and moral strength to proclaim the dignity of each human life and the evil of abortion.

 

Reflections on Sibling Retreat

It is difficult to put into words the great peace and comfort that I received when I participated in the Entering Canaan retreat for Siblings. Meeting six other retreatants who knew personally the pain and grief of losing a sibling to abortion made me feel less alone in my loss. As a child, I can remember feeling like someone was missing from my family. During my teen years, I pushed those thoughts away because it seemed not true or possible. Six years ago, when I learned my mom had an abortion four years before I was born, suddenly everything that didn’t make sense to me came into focus. I also instantly missed my sibling and instantly cried tears of grief. My mom felt the child she lost was a boy and she named him John Andrew. I had wanted and prayed for a sibling my whole life and now I realized that God had answered my every prayer.

 The retreat provided me with time to just be with my brother in the Communion of Saints and to talk about him with others who understood my pain and cared. The group was a nice mixture of men and women and something that helped me so much was the vulnerable tears the men shared over their pain and loss. Being with the group I felt safe and secure. Never before was I so struck thinking to myself, that this day retreat is a tangible sign that abortion is not a private matter between a woman and her doctor.

I would recommend this retreat to anyone who lost a sibling to abortion. Having known of my mom’s abortion for six years, I had by God’s grace forgiven my mom. My main reason for attending this special day was to have one whole day where I thought about my brother and prayed to him and didn’t have to push the thoughts away and get back to everyday life. Words could never express my gratitude to Lumina for hosting this Day of Prayer and Healing for Siblings. The wisdom and courage of this post-abortion healing ministry, gave me a glimpse of God’s love.
~JAMS

SIBLING WEEKEND : August 16-18, 2019 New Jersey- NO COST - TRANSPORTATION ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE

Spiritual Director, Rev Fidelis Moscinski, CFR

Contact: Theresa 877 586 4621

[email protected] 

Siblings & Silent Victims of Abortion

For approximately 50 years I have silently carried a burden in my heart. Recently during my prayer time, I felt that the Lord was asking me to break that silence.

Much has been written and said about the suffering of both women and men who have been hurt by abortion. Yet, we rarely hear or read about the other silent victims of abortion - the siblings of aborted children.

It is not an easy task for me to write about my own painful experience with abortion. I am doing so in obedience to God, who I believe asked me to share it. I am also doing it in the hope of encouraging others who, like me, carry the same type of burden, but have not come out publicly. We need to let everyone know, that each and every abortion leaves many victims, and I'm not just referring to the unborn baby, his or her mother, and/or father.

When I was a teenager, my mother had an abortion. For some reason that I don't know about or can't remember, she asked me to accompany her to the abortuary. I remember that clinic in Havana, Cuba. It was like any other clinic. The abortionist was the same gynecologist who delivered babies at a private hospital where we got our medical care. Even though at that time abortion on demand was illegal in Cuba, it was widely practiced, done mostly by doctors, and used as a method of birth control. Abortion on demand was legalized and the state has been paying for it since Fidel Castro took over more than 40 years ago when Cuba became a communist state. Today, there are more abortions than births in Cuba and the country has the lowest birth rate in the world. I often wonder if that repressive communist regime is God's judgement on my country of origin for countless abortions performed.

At the time of my mother's abortion about 50 years ago, science was not as advanced as it is now. Those who had no medical training had no real knowledge of the development of the unborn child.

Though I was a very young teenager and had very little religious formation, God had already given me a special awareness of the humanity of my unborn sibling, which I believe was a special gift from Him in preparation for the work He would ask me to do later. However, at that time my mother did not realize that abortion kills a human being. She truly thought that it was just a matter of getting rid of some tissue. Abortion was so easy to obtain and so widely practiced in Cuba that it was very common, so probably most people didn't think that it was wrong.

While on the way to the abortion clinic, I pleaded with my mother not to abort. I even promised her that I would assume the responsibility for bringing up what in my heart I knew was a living human being. But, perhaps because I had no scientific proof of the humanity of my unborn sibling and we were not practicing Catholics, my mother went ahead with the abortion. Little did either one of us know, that this decision my mother made, would change our lives forever.

It was right after my mother's abortion that I began to feel unwanted by my parents, even though I knew they loved me and had always cared for me. I couldn't help but feel that I needed to be worthy of their love, that I needed to somehow justify having been allowed to be born. Several years after my mother's abortion and while still an adolescent, I attempted suicide. I took several sleeping pills mixed with alcohol, but they only made me sleepy and my parents never found out what I had done. The loss of part of my self esteem because of the abortion experience affected me adversely in many ways throughout a great part of my life.

Years later, God came to my rescue. I had a religious conversion at a Cursillo in Christianity, that completely changed my life. I experienced for the first time God's healing love. I became a practicing Catholic and fell in love with Jesus and with the Catholic Church. Shortly after that and in obedience to God's call, I got involved in pro-life work. In 1972, I was asked to found the first Hispanic pro-life organization in the U.S.: Comite Pro Vida Internacional (International Pro-Life Committee).

Yet, it was not until I saw pictures of aborted babies, that I fully realized how terribly wrong abortion is. There was one picture in particular that moved me: the one of a dilation and curettage abortion. The instant I saw it, I heard an inner voice telling me, "that's what your brother looked like when he was aborted." Indeed, that was the type of abortion that was generally practiced in Cuba, at the time my mother had her abortion.

Right after that experience, I began to discover and identify the pain of post-abortion syndrome that I had carried inside of me for so many years, and was not consciously aware of. In the beginning of this journey I even felt guilt over my mother's abortion, although I had tried to save that baby. The pain for the loss of my brother was so intense at times, that I had to acknowledge it by writing a letter, "to the brother I never met," which was published in Spanish, anonymously. Even though my mother went to confession and reconciled herself with God, I never discussed my feelings on this matter with her. I loved her and I knew that she was truly sorry, and that it would cause her even greater sorrow to have to face the fact that I too was hurt by her abortion.

One day I took my elderly mother to the doctor, and in giving him her medical history, she had to reveal in front of me that she had other abortions, done before the one I knew about. A horrible feeling came over me when I heard this. I realized that I had lost most of my immediate family to abortion and again I went through post-abortion syndrome. For a long time after that, whenever all my family gathered together, I always thought about the missing members and would later cry privately. In fact, I still cry sometimes over the loss of my siblings.

During a pro-life/family conference that I helped organize years ago, I named all my brothers and sisters who were aborted, and I thanked God for the very loving sister and the brother that I have left, as well as for my wonderful parents. My poor father never said anything about my mother's abortions, but I knew that he also carried inside of him a heavy burden. My parents were both victims of abortion. Had they known how terribly wrong abortion is, my unborn siblings would not have been killed.

I have been truly blessed to have been able to work within the pro-life movement for over 30 years. During that time I have discovered that there are countless, well-financed and organized efforts to legalize abortion in Latin American countries where it is still illegal. A great number of U.S. anti-life foundations and organizations are exerting their evil influence south of the U.S. border. I work very hard every day so that families in other countries will not have to experience the pain of abortion. When illegal abortion is not prosecuted as is the case in Cuba and other countries; or when it is legalized, it becomes a very common practice and more women suffer the physical and emotional consequences. After my mother had her abortions, she had serious medical problems with the pregnancy and delivery of both my brother and my sister.

I thank God for the work I have been able to do in defense of unborn babies. I could not save my unborn brother's life or the lives of my other unborn siblings. However, by the grace of God, I have been able to save countless other unborn babies' lives and their families, from the sorrow and the pain of abortion. I have also been able to console and encourage many women who made the same mistake my mother made. I know how they feel, for I witnessed my mother's suffering and I myself have felt the pain of post-abortion syndrome. My mother shed many tears of sorrow and repentance when she found out what abortion involves. She used to tell me many times "if only I had known."

I believe that all priests should preach about abortion from the pulpit, often. One time I asked a priest in my diocese to please do so. He told me that he knew there were women sitting in the pews who had aborted and he didn't want to make them feel guilty. I responded, "If someone had told my mother about abortion, I would have more brothers and sisters today."

I pray that every woman be told the truth about abortion, before she makes a decision that she and all her loved ones will have to live with for the rest of their lives!

~Magaly

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Are you the sibling of an aborted baby?
There is Hope.  There is Healing.  There is a way out of the darkness.

The next Sibling Retreat is August 16-18, 2019

Email us at [email protected]
Call us at 1-877-586-4621 or 1-718-881-8008

 

Jesus & Me – The Wining & Dining of Conversion

Conversion, true conversion, is a crazy thing. It can be dreaded, exhilarating, terrifying, fun, painful, joyful, and sad; I can go on and on. Once you have been touched and personally experienced Christ, your life is forever changed one way or the other. You can say yes, or no, to His invitation to follow Him, it is totally up to you, but one thing is for sure, life will never be the same.

I always describe my period of “dating”, getting to know Jesus, as Him wining and dining me. I enjoyed the peace of His presence as He touched my heart, taught me about himself, accepted me unconditionally, and healed my inner wounds, especially that o f my abortion. It was a profound experience, as if He were my first true love, which in fact He was, since all of us are human and fall short of what He is able to give us. Was it painful at times, yes, because He called me, (and continues to call me) to die to “self”. To live His life in me, but I have never once been sorry I made that choice to follow Him.

I often think of the apostles who spent so much time intimately with Jesus. They were right beside Him in the midst of His miracles, and listened intently to His teachings. They had 3 years of “wining and dining”, only to see it cumulate in HIs suffering death and resurrection. IT must have been disheartening to see how they, who had known Him so well, abandoned Him and hid in fear until the coming of the Holy Spirit.

They were told to travel in twos into foreign lands, taking nothing with them….no food, no money, no bags, NOTHING. If they weren’t accepted they were to shake the dust off of their feet and move on. He was calling them to let go of all they had known, and trust in His love for them. The life changing experience of knowing Jesus forever changed what they had known life to be.

Jesus calls us out into the unknown as well. He calls us to “be not afraid”, and to venture into the path He has paved for our salvation. It is humbling to recognize how difficult it is to let go of certain behaviors that were so much a part of our. Behaviors we never even thought about or considered wrong we were so blind to the truth.

We become locked in a place of wanting Him, and yet still humanly wanting the familiar people, behaviors and things in our lives, some of whom are not in accordance with His will. We also still long for the love and acceptance of those we consider our friends and family who may think we have gone off the deep end and cannot understand what has happened to us.

We want our life with Christ, and yet we want our old life, in some respects, just as much. We feel as though we are standing with one foot in the world, and the other bound for heaven unable or unwilling to lift our foot from the paths of the earth all we have ever known. No matte r how far we get on the road, we will still find ourselves with those struggles in this life.

In the beginning we may slip and fall often, even gravely. Jesus knew this and so we have the beautiful gift of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. As we progress, we may not fall gravely, but availing ourselves of this sacrament regularly gives us the grave we need to do that and grow along our spiritual journey.

We do not need to want to do all He asks of us in the beginning. The desire to want to want to do them is enough as we reach out and continue to grow in relationship.

It can be hard, to end an unhealthy relationship, perhaps living with someone, or giving up behaviors that hurt us. Speaking the truth in love can be terrifying, while knowing we are all sinners in need of His mercy, and yet in our hearts we know to turn back will only cause us misery and pain.
Being touched by the mercy of Christ in the midst of a grievous sin is in comprehensible to those who have not experienced it. It is almost unbelievable, a miracle of mercy, yet that is what Christ gives us, and as He gives us that He also gives us the means to continue on the path to Him, the only one who can truly satisfy our hearts desire. To push ourselves aside trusting in this love and mercy as we venture forth not only because He has told us to trust Him, but because we know it is true.

“It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.” “It is Jesus that you seek when you dream of happiness; He is waiting for you when nothing else you find satisfies you; He is the beauty to which you are so attracted; it is He who provoked you with that thirst for fullness that will not let you settle for compromise; it is He who urges you to shed the masks of a false life; it is He who reads in your heart your most genuine choices, the choices that others try to stifle.

It is Jesus who stirs in you the desire to do something great with your lives, the will to follow an ideal, the refusal to allow yourselves to be ground down by mediocrity, the courage to commit yourselves humbly and patiently to improving yourselves and society, making the world more human and more fraternal.” St John Paul II

Thank you Jesus for wining and dining me in the beginning and each time I receive Your Body and Blood in the Eucharist which gives me strength until I share the eternal banquet in heaven.

Radio Podcast - Siblings

Podcast from July 9th Love Will end Abortion radio show with Jim Havens

The impact of abortion on Siblings

Whose Missing from Your Family?

 

Radio Show 7.9 - Siblings and abortion

Siblings of Abortion

Siblings of Abortion

“I was by now in my mid-thirties and started to realize that my two children didn't have any cousins besides the two other children of my husband's younger sister.  By and by I came to recognize that all of the other babies which should have been born in my husband's family had been aborted; his grandmother had had 2-3 abortions, his mother had 2-3 abortions, his sister had 2-3 abortions.” (Excerpt from testimony by Anne, Mississippi, US.  “Broken Families”)

How many siblings have you lost to abortion? Chances are most people will never know, yet it is something that impacts their lives daily even if they are not aware of a lost sibling.  Just the thought of the staggering numbers of abortions shows us that countless people have lost multiple siblings. I believe this is one of the issues that will impact our society for decades to come, as the implications slowly become known.

Anne, a woman from Mississippi shared with me that in her family alone, between her mother, grandmother, and sister, she is aware of 14 unborn children that were aborted. As she came to understand what that meant, she saw how the dynamics of her family unit were forever influenced by those events. She shares: “My mother was for the last several years before her death, bedridden in a luxurious nursing home: Still the little diva that she was, she gambled over a  $1,000,000 away, still fighting to prove - even if it was only to the staff in the nursing home as she had estranged everybody else in her life - to everybody around her that she was special and chosen by God to outshine and tower over everybody else.  But in the deep silence of the night, according to her own account, she would every night lay out all her aborted babies on her pillow and silently weep and pray and wish they would be back in her tummy.”

One of the saddest places I have visited lately is the Facebook page “I Do Not Regret My Abortion." The desperation is everywhere as they attempt to justify abortion, and remove the stigma. They even state support from other living children, however, reality tells us differently.  In the long run, learning of a sibling’s abortion is anything but positive.

Although the understanding of the damage may not come out for years after learning of an aborted sibling, the feelings of guilt for being alive and searching for your own dignity are ingrained in the hearts of those impacted.

One woman on the page, who does not regret her own abortion brings it further by writing a post, “I Don’t Regret Helping My Daughter Get An Abortion.”  About her 15 year old daughter’s abortion, she states, “when my daughter got pregnant I couldn't find anything online written for or about parents supporting their daughter through abortion that wasn't written from a tragic prospective. I figured someone needed to say that's not everyone's story.” The problem here of course, aside from the fact that she had an abortion, is that she is 15 years old. She has no idea of the consequences on her life, which she now spends being an escort at a clinic. It may be years before she recognizes the impact it has had on her.

How many kids support their parent’s abortions, or if they have grown up in pro-abortion activism think it is cool or get involved because they fear if they don’t, their parent will withdraw love.  “Hey, look at me mom. I am pro abortion and even an escort! Aren’t you proud!” Understandable, after all, they participated in taking the life of their brother or sister

Perhaps you r mother had an abortion in college or high school.  Maybe your dad did too, Maybe they got married and could not afford children, so when they learned of  a pregnancy they aborted a child together, or maybe they got pregnant later in life and did not want more children. That makes at least three siblings gone. No matter what the reason for abortion, it impacts the family unit in multiple ways, even if you do not “regret” them.

In a conversation with Anne she states, “I'm still on a daily basis under the gun of what had happened in our family.  I can't say that I'm in shock, I'm beyond the emotional trauma, it is more the realization that all around me murders were being perpetrated, and that the eeriness of the atmosphere in our family was portrayed as the "normal.””

The bottom line is it is not, nor will it ever be “normal” to kill your children and the stigma will never go away because of that. We can try to brain wash and silently bully others into accepting abortion as normal and necessary, but the controversy is as real today as it was decades ago because it is not normal and never will be.  So much for attempts at removing the stigma.

Anne grew up surrounded by abortions and people who professed them to be okay, and yet in Anne’s life, decades later, she still feels “under the gun” of what happened in her family. How many women and men have grown up “under the gun” because of a parents abortion?  Millions.  And they have lived life trying to understand how the people who profess to love them can take the life of their sibling and doing everything they can to ensure they are not shot at next.

Theresa Bonopartis
Director, Lumina/Hope & Healing after Abortion
Co-developer of Entering Canaan Post Abortion Ministry

Next Sibling Day