Siblings of Abortion
“I was by now in my mid-thirties and started to realize that my two children didn't have any cousins besides the two other children of my husband's younger sister. By and by I came to recognize that all of the other babies which should have been born in my husband's family had been aborted; his grandmother had had 2-3 abortions, his mother had 2-3 abortions, his sister had 2-3 abortions.” (Excerpt from testimony by Anne, Mississippi, US. “Broken Families”)
How many siblings have you lost to abortion? Chances are most people will never know, yet it is something that impacts their lives daily even if they are not aware of a lost sibling. Just the thought of the staggering numbers of abortions shows us that countless people have lost multiple siblings. I believe this is one of the issues that will impact our society for decades to come, as the implications slowly become known.
Anne, a woman from Mississippi shared with me that in her family alone, between her mother, grandmother, and sister, she is aware of 14 unborn children that were aborted. As she came to understand what that meant, she saw how the dynamics of her family unit were forever influenced by those events. She shares: “My mother was for the last several years before her death, bedridden in a luxurious nursing home: Still the little diva that she was, she gambled over a $1,000,000 away, still fighting to prove - even if it was only to the staff in the nursing home as she had estranged everybody else in her life - to everybody around her that she was special and chosen by God to outshine and tower over everybody else. But in the deep silence of the night, according to her own account, she would every night lay out all her aborted babies on her pillow and silently weep and pray and wish they would be back in her tummy.”
One of the saddest places I have visited lately is the Facebook page “I Do Not Regret My Abortion." The desperation is everywhere as they attempt to justify abortion, and remove the stigma. They even state support from other living children, however, reality tells us differently. In the long run, learning of a sibling’s abortion is anything but positive.
Although the understanding of the damage may not come out for years after learning of an aborted sibling, the feelings of guilt for being alive and searching for your own dignity are ingrained in the hearts of those impacted.
One woman on the page, who does not regret her own abortion brings it further by writing a post, “I Don’t Regret Helping My Daughter Get An Abortion.” About her 15 year old daughter’s abortion, she states, “when my daughter got pregnant I couldn't find anything online written for or about parents supporting their daughter through abortion that wasn't written from a tragic prospective. I figured someone needed to say that's not everyone's story.” The problem here of course, aside from the fact that she had an abortion, is that she is 15 years old. She has no idea of the consequences on her life, which she now spends being an escort at a clinic. It may be years before she recognizes the impact it has had on her.
How many kids support their parent’s abortions, or if they have grown up in pro-abortion activism think it is cool or get involved because they fear if they don’t, their parent will withdraw love. “Hey, look at me mom. I am pro abortion and even an escort! Aren’t you proud!” Understandable, after all, they participated in taking the life of their brother or sister
Perhaps you r mother had an abortion in college or high school. Maybe your dad did too, Maybe they got married and could not afford children, so when they learned of a pregnancy they aborted a child together, or maybe they got pregnant later in life and did not want more children. That makes at least three siblings gone. No matter what the reason for abortion, it impacts the family unit in multiple ways, even if you do not “regret” them.
In a conversation with Anne she states, “I'm still on a daily basis under the gun of what had happened in our family. I can't say that I'm in shock, I'm beyond the emotional trauma, it is more the realization that all around me murders were being perpetrated, and that the eeriness of the atmosphere in our family was portrayed as the "normal.””
The bottom line is it is not, nor will it ever be “normal” to kill your children and the stigma will never go away because of that. We can try to brain wash and silently bully others into accepting abortion as normal and necessary, but the controversy is as real today as it was decades ago because it is not normal and never will be. So much for attempts at removing the stigma.
Anne grew up surrounded by abortions and people who professed them to be okay, and yet in Anne’s life, decades later, she still feels “under the gun” of what happened in her family. How many women and men have grown up “under the gun” because of a parents abortion? Millions. And they have lived life trying to understand how the people who profess to love them can take the life of their sibling and doing everything they can to ensure they are not shot at next.
Theresa Bonopartis
Director, Lumina/Hope & Healing after Abortion
Co-developer of Entering Canaan Post Abortion Ministry
Next Sibling Day
