In my talks, often speak of how shy I was before my healing. I make a joke of it, and people who know me now often do not believe it, but it is completely true, I was afraid to order MacDonald’s. That is how timid I was. Now, God has me speaking of my worse sin often in front of thousands of people…talk about the power of the Holy Spirit.
I have come to disassociate myself with my talks because I truly believe they are about HIM, and what He has done in my life, not about me and what I have done. The miracle of my healing has given me the great gift of courage through my faith. Something I am so grateful for and without which I would not be able to do this work . It has also given me great freedom, because my trust is in Him not in me. Before every talk I ask Him to kick me out of the way and give me the words He would have me say.
Does this mean there is never any anxiety or fear? Of course not, but these are the times where I allow it to be about me instead of Him. Times when my human nature is fighting to take over and either get me to quit or get me to fumble. Sometimes, I am tormented for days before a talk and it is only my faith in Him that allows me to proceed.
Yes, there is fear at times, but I move forward in spite of the fear because I know it is His will for me. I may have to drag myself to the place I am speaking fighting myself all the way, but the important thing is, I go, in spite of all I am feeling.
I am sure that a part of Jesus wanted to run the other way many times during His ministry, especially on the way to Golgatha, but He also knew the goodness and love of the Lord and what He willed for Him and trusted in that goodness.
So, I will speak to the truth of abortion, its destruction of the unborn and its damage to countless others, and then I will watch the grace of God work, as He touches hearts and minds with His Mercy.
