So, I admit it. Today I am having a melt down. In a few minutes the graveside service to bury my cousin will begin and I cannot be there. Only five people are allowed.
It's hard. The entire thing has been hard and I shudder to think of all the people this is happening to and the suffering they are going through even as I write this. At least Mike is getting a gravesite service. Some do not even get this.
The sickness is bad enough. Sudden. One minute they are getting dropped off at a hospital, no hugs, no real goodbyes, no visits, no opportunity for the family to comfort them or for that matter to comfort each other because of the restrictions. Just waiting for a daily update from a nurse, who selflessly, not only cares for them, but keeps the family informed. It can be a roller coaster ride...up and down, up and down. One day some hope, another it is shattered.
In the end, Mike did not make it. His organs shut down, kidneys, heart, lungs. It was just too much. The nurse told his wife Donna they were with him when he died so he would not be alone. They played soft music and held his hand. I wonder how many hands they have held in the past few weeks...more I am sure than they ever thought they would in their careers. They are in my constant prayers.
My heart shatters for his wife, and his children and grandchildren. One of his daughters told us how her dad had taught her everything except how to live without him. I assured her, he taught her that too, by his giving heart, his love, she just did not know it yet.
Mike was a generous soul, always helping and being there for everyone in their needs. The outpouring of love has been amazing but not surprising. He lived the gospel. He was always so good to me as well, reaching out because I was a single parent and he knew how difficult that must be. I will be forever grateful.
Sadly, in recent years the busyness of life caused me not to see him much. A lesson to be learned the hard way. We put so many things before what is really important always thinking we will have more time, but sometimes we don't. Don't allow that to happen to you.
A funny story with Mike. Whenever someone was really sick in our family I would pray the chaplet of Divine Mercy. It never failed that during the novena of chaplets the person would die. Mike would always ask, "Were you saying that prayer?" I inevitably would say "yes" and he would add, "If I get sick don't you say that prayer for me!"
Of course, he was joking, and of course I prayed it for him daily during his two weeks of hospitalization and have continued every day since his death. God's goodness cannot be undone and He, in the midst of the sorrow and suffering, brought a smile to my face. Mike died not only during the Novena to Divine Mercy but during the Novena to the Feast of Divine Mercy. I am sure Mike is very grateful I did not listen to him!
Rest in peace Mike. I know you are being embraced by Our Merciful Savior.
If I get sick, make sure you say the novena for me! If you don't know it, I am sure someone up there can teach it to you!
