Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. (John 20:17)
Many of you within the ministry are familiar with my experience of feeling spiritually called to accompany The Virgin Mary as Mary Magdalene did after the death and Resurrection of Jesus. (For those of you unfamiliar, you can listen to my talk about consecration to Mary here)
In these strange times of the pandemic, aside from praying for those sick and those who have died and their families, health care workers and all who are serving us, I have been praying that through this separation from the Jesus in the sacraments I will grow in my faith knowing He is with me at all times, the good and the bad, when I feel Him and when I don't, when I can receive Him and when I can't.
It hasn't be easy. I miss Him alot! As a daily communicant and someone who does a daily Hour Hour, it has left a huge void in my life. At the same time, in some ways I have felt closer to Him than I ever have before. Especially in the gift of being there for those suffering. I know He is walking with me. It is a "knowing" instead of a feeling, even when my feelings are trying to tell me otherwise. It is a gift of faith.
As I pondered the words of Jesus above to Mary Magdalene after His resurrection, "Touch me Not", I could not help but think of how much she must have longed to embrace Him and how hard it must have been not to, but she knew it was His will and she knew He loved her. She may not have understood, but she trusted Him completely, and so she listened. Her faith was great, her love was great.
In contrast Jesus, when Thomas doubted He had risen, Jesus invites him to touch Him, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas' faith was still weak. He needed proof to believe.
Like Mary Magdalene, I pray to receive the grace during this Easter season, that as much as my heart longs to embrace Christ, I will know in my heart He is with me, in some ways even closer, that I will never doubt His love for me. I pray I will grow to love Him even more than before despite what I may "feel", through the gift of my faith.
Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to umy brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. (John 20:17)
He has Risen,
Indeed He has Risen ! Alleluia!
