(This is something I found that I wrote in 2003-the beginnings of Silent No More)
My abortion has become the means for my salvation. Now, I know a lot of you may be cringing at that statement, fearful that somehow I am making
abortion sound like it is something good, or at best, ok. First, let me set your mind at ease by saying abortion is never a good, abortion is never ok, and abortion can never be justified in any circumstance, for any reason. Perhaps that is the real miracle of what I am about to share with you, that despite the gravity of the sin, God has used the horror of abortion as a means of salvation.
As we approach the thirtieth anniversary of Roe vs Wade there is a penitent excitement in the air. For the first time, on January 22nd, a small army of post abortive women will be joining together on the steps of the Supreme Court to expose the lies of abortion through a campaign titled “Silent No More.” No one can tell these women abortion is a “good”. Or a “women’s right”. They know all too well the devastation for they are all responsible in some degree or another for the deaths of their own children.
Through the miracle of God’s mercy, these women have found healing and strength. Through humility and trust in God they have been given the courage to speak out about their own sin so that they may become instruments to bring others to that healing. The prayer is that this year, although the army is small, the example of those participating will give strength to those still suffering in silence to reach out for help. Each year, the numbers will continue to grow until there is no longer a need to be there. These women will be the voices for their children who they have been united to again through Christ.
With this growth in acknowledgement of post abortion trauma comes a need to have places where women and men can call to get the help they need to reach healing. Lumina is one of those places. When women call who are carrying the burden of a past abortion in solitude and silence, we are able to validate their feelings. If they have been told to “forget about it” or have felt the unspoken rule of “let us pretend it did not happen, then it will go away”, we are there to let them know it is ok and even good not to forget, and that they do not need to pretend it did not happen. They have lost a child. When they finally find us, it is most likely the first time their feelings have been validated and we can then refer them to the help they need to heal.
Cindy eased the pain of her abortion by self medicating through drugs and alcohol abuse. No matter how many rehabs she entered, no one was willing to address her abortion even though she mentioned it time and time again. Cindy had experienced a saline abortion and actually saw her dead child. Repeatedly she was told it was “in the past”, and repeatedly she would finish treatment, go out into the world and before long relapse again. Cindy needed to get sober, but she also needed to deal with the death of her unborn child and the guilt, shame and grief she was carrying so she could stay sober. With the help of a mental health professional trained in post abortion trauma and by joining a group of other women who have experienced abortion, Cindy, with God at her side, will be able to look honestly at her abortion and deal with her addictions. Lumina has helped her to do that by putting her in touch with the right people instead of those who will not acknowledge her grief. Lumina also strives to increase the pool of resources by conducting trainings for lay, clergy and mental health professionals in post abortion trauma taught by both local and national leaders in the field.
There are millions of Cindy’s out there. They are not all suffering from addictions but they are suffering intensely just the same. In time, Cindy may very well be one of those women on the steps of the Supreme Court. Yes, God uses, the horror of the grave sin of abortion as a means of salvation for many…but then, that should not surprise us. Just look at the cross.
