It is scary to feel broken. The vulnerability it invokes can leave you feeling confused, lost and alone.
We do not like to look at our pain and we do our best to avoid it at any cost. We like to believe in the false notion that we are in charge and can control what happens in our lives. We pretend if we don't look, it will go away.
Many who have experienced abortion struggle with this. A great need to be in control because we have felt so out of control. The walls of our hearts can be made of steel as we strive to protect ourselves from further harm. We often live without living.
When we do recognize how broken we are, it can be terrifying. We wonder how we can ever heal or move forward in our lives. We feel like a farce that everyone will find out about sooner or later. "If they only knew..."
So many of us cling to rationalization and justification when it comes to abortion. To let that go would mean we would have to honestly look at what we have done and frankly, that is impossible without first knowing the love of God. A love that desires our healing not our demise. A love that forgives. A love that gently educates, that bestows compassion and comforts. A love that understands without saying that abortion is ok. Love the sinner, hate the sin.
I admit my life has been very broken. Tons of bad relationships that closed me off. At one point I could barely go two steps without falling through a crack. There is so much woundedness. I spent many years avoiding it at any cost only to make my life all the more complicated. It took the love of Christ to get me to open myself up again.
I learned that brokenness is not our enemy. Instead of fearing falling through the cracks I learned to embrace them knowing and trusting that Jesus waits for me there He protects me from the snares of the devil. To proclaim the truth of His love and mercy despite anything else that may be thrown at me.
My brokenness has become my friend. My safety net to the arms of Christ who waits for me in my wounds to gently lift me up.
Don't be afraid of your brokenness. In your humility and the admittance of your need for God it can become your salvation. It can become not a place of fear and dread, but a place of truth, the truth of who you are but more importantly the truth of who He is and what He has done for us in dying on the cross for our sins.
Healing from abortion is possible. It is in finding our dignity once again as children of God the Father that we see our worth in His eyes. That we trust in His love for us, His unconditional love for us despite whatever we have done.
Thank you God for my brokenness , for the cracks that I fall through because of my wounds, knowing you are waiting for me there to lift me up to Yourself.
