Reclaiming Our Children

A Journey of Healing with Jesus

Post from one of our  fathers...

Theresa, who has been a good friend to me and so many others, asked me to write about what I am experiencing in my journey of healing after my abortion.

Her friendship has been the key for so many of us.  Theresa’s witness to God working in her life has been what brings us together.  Her words of help have drawn us in.

So, I’m going to try to tell you what He has done in my healing journey.

Christ is alive in us! Alleluia!

At one time, I didn’t know that, but now I am starting to witness this fact in my life. Not only in my thoughts and heart but, I now know that He actually guides me on a daily basis.

I see Him in so many things. Like, when I forget my cell phone, and I have to go back home to get it only to find my brother in a moment of depression and in need of my encouragement.

He teaches me, as a children’s soccer coach, how to better use my gifts.  I am actually starting to realize there are so many moment of grace in my life, I should be saying “thank you” all day.

Through the Holy Spirit, He moves me, and in that I get a glimpse and can sense that all of my life is in His love and I’ve truly been forgiven.

He makes me want to help others more.  As I pray about what to do, He tells me not to panic and guides me where He wants me to be.

He moves me to want to help homes for pregnant women and their babies who are truly destitute and are in need of our immediate support!

He allows me to see that none of these actions are my thoughts or plans in motion, but his Holy direction, in daily happenings.

He loves me. He loves me, with a love I could not imagine, but I’m learning to accept.  He loves my loved ones as well and wants to guide them, and wants them to give themselves to Him, like I have begun to do because then they too will be restored in Him.

He has opened a world for me with people I’ve known for years, as we now, all of a sudden, talk about Christ! There is a janitor in a school where I work, a peaceful man with a hard past.  He is someone I never would have spoken with before, yet he told me with confidence that he gave his heart Christ, and to drop any load I have on his Cross because He died for me.  He died for you.

He uses us. The love of God, Incarnate, actually uses you and me, to bring others to Him one by one and together.

I am learning that when I pray, when we fast, even a little bit, when we ask the Holy Spirit to come into our lives and our hearts, He is here, NOW, with us, and a peace falls upon us.

In Mass, when the priest says, “And the peace of the Lord be with you,” he actually means it. I don’t need to make an effort anymore for it. It is right there!

Honestly, I have met Him on my journey and I’m confident he is writing more of this than me.

Jesus has been resurrected from the dead.

He died for you and me, and for our sins.

Thank you Lord!

You are Lord and Savior!

Please, help me trust you more for you only give me reasons to do so! Jesus, how well you provide! It surpasses us, Thanks God!

Let’s please help those in need together, volunteering at maternity homes and others in need by our financial and spiritual (prayers) support and let us pray for those who are imprisoned by their post abortive scars to travel the journey to Christ and healing.

Our Lady of Czestochowa, Merciful Mother,

You are a visible sign of the power of scars in our life. Multiple times attempts have been made to cover your scars, much like the experience of post abortive people in society, however, the scars returned.

Instead of a source of pain, your scars have become a symbol of your great love for us, your children, and your willingness to embrace them has manifested that love through centuries of healing and conversions.

Our scars of abortion will also remain with us in this life, but with your help they too will not be a source of pain, but instead will turn into a sign of Christ’s love, a memorial of our children lost to abortion who we never want to forget.

Through your scars you have brought countless people to the love and mercy of your Son, Jesus, help us to use our scars of abortion to do the same. May we always speak of the miracle of His mercy towards us, and the healing He has given us through His forgiveness. May this healing along with our scars lead others to your Son, so that they too may learn to carry their scars with love.

Our Lady of Czestochowa, patroness of those post abortive, we trust in your motherly presence and the many miracles associated with this image. May we follow you as you lead us to Jesus your Son, and our children who are with Him in heaven. Amen

Thank you God

You want us to heal, you want us to witness you.

How wonderful you are! – Ivan 

Show On Our Patroness

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Blessed Feast Day!

Blessed Feast of Our Lady of Czestochowa!

Our beautiful Entering Canaan image painted by Michael Corsini - Mary embracing our children and leading us to the Promised land and her Son.

www.michalecorsini.com

www.enteringcanaan.com

Pod Cast - Story of Our Lady of Czestochowa Our Patroness

 

Black Madonna of Częstochowa: Healing Women Who Have Had Abortions by Healing After Abortion (soundcloud.com)

 

Lord that I may NOT see, hear, and speak!

Ever have something that controls your mind and no matter how much you try to let go of it, it is always there taunting you?

I think this is particularly true if you have been deeply hurt and are trying to get past it and forgive. Every new prick opens the deepness of the wound, and it feels as if you are starting all over again.

You try not to look or listen to things that will upset you and start the ball rolling again. You try to ignore things or avoid things, but it is as if Satan knows your struggles and uses it more to tempt you in your weakness.

It can be exhausting, especially if it is not a onetime thing, but something that comes up repeatedly that you are unable to ignore or distance yourself from.

You may wonder how people can be so blind to a hurt you have expressed. It is particularly hard if it is someone you really love. Do they not understand? Even worse do they not care? It can be very painful to admit that yes, maybe they really do not care and as much as you do not want to believe that all roads seem to point to that truth.

Choosing to continue to forgive despite that can be exhausting, especially when new things are coming up all the time.

It can seem as if an alien has taken over your mind, obsessing with the “whys” of it all and leaving us in no peace. There is that one part of you that just does not want to accept the reality of what is, so no matter how much you try, your brain keeps going over things and trying to figure them out when in reality the answer may have been in front of you the entire time and you just did not want to believe it.

Or how about when you make a promise not to engage in conversation with others even if something is bothering you and yet your find yourself talking about it, once again trying to figure it all out!

It seems no matter how much prayer, etc, you just cannot turn it off, and so you pray to be deaf, dumb, and blind to the situation so you can move on. You truly want to forgive. Yet, the one person you cannot get away from is yourself, so in spite o f the fact that you may distance yourself etc, all the turmoil can continue because the pace needs to come from within.

"St. John of the Cross wrote about a necessary condition to be fulfilled in our journey toward union with God: “When thy mind dwells upon anything, thou art ceasing to cast thyself upon the All. For, in order to pass from the all to the All, thou hast to deny thyself wholly in all." (God Alone Suffices, Third Edition, pg. 128) A tall order, one humanly impossible without discipline and grace. That is why we are blessed in our faith to have the beautiful sacrament of reconciliation. I have learned not to be too hard on myself in these times. God knows and understands our hurts and sees the truth even when we don’t. I remind myself that what is important is that I keep trying to keep my eyes on Him and I keep deciding to forgive even when new hurts come that reopen the original deep wound, I may have experienced. In the end, it is not about me and the other, both of whom are human and flawed. It is about me and God. A God who has showed me tremendous mercy and desires me to show that same mercy to others. A God who chooses to forgive me again and again when I sin. A God who loved and forgave from the cross. May our prayer be, “Lord, that I may see.” See your ways, see your grace, see your mercy, love, and forgiveness and may I keep my eyes on You so that others may see those same things in me.

Allowing Love In

When I was in my twenties, I was in a relationship with someone I cared about very deeply. However ,it was a come close- go away relationship. The Distancer and the pursuer. Every time we would begin to trust he would pull away. Then after I let go he would come back and the pursue the relationship again, and I would fall right into it

We were both pretty wounded people at the time. He grew up with an alcoholic father, and I grew up in a family where I was referred to as the  “mistake” baby. I was pretty much on my own when it came to emotions and learning about life. It was trial and error.

I remember distinctly to this day, a friend trying to comfort me during one of our “distancing”. She turned to me and said,” I am so sorry he won’t allow you to love him. “Those few little words became a turning point for me and have stuck in my head to this day. In his woundedness my boyfriend did not allow himself to be vulnerable. He only allowed me to get so close then he would blot because he was afraid to trust, he was afraid to allow himself to be loved.

In retrospect I have come to recognize it is not so different from my relationship with God. I get close, and then I blot. I am afraid to allow Him to love me because I have not had a good foundation of love in my life. All those that were supposed to love me and care for me abandoned me at some point. My parents when they kicked me out of the house as a teen because I was pregnant and coerced me into an abortion in my fourth month of pregnancy, and, my future husband who I married being very wounded from my abortion and who was suffering from addictions and abandoned me and our sons.

When I finally turned to God, it was out of desperation. I was broken and a mess and even the thought of trusting would send me into a panic. I was self-reliant even though my decisions in life were not the best. The trouble was I did not trust myself either because I had caved into that abortion so many years before. I knew needed help and I wanted to believe God was merciful and loving. I longed to believe in love.

It took a long time but through prayer and spiritual and emotional counsel and learning about the impact of abortion and how it was affecting my decisions, I slowly grew to trust God. I saw that He was different, that He really did unconditionally love me and longed to come into my sufferings and heal me.

Little by little He reached into my wounds and embraced them, showing me He was there for me all along.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a tendency of self-reliance and always have to be on the watch for it.  I can become fearful when I feel God asking me to do somethings in accordance with His will for me, but despite my feelings I chose to trust. To live by faith.

I give myself to Him each day wherever I am knowing He is guiding, healing me and leading me to Himself.

Those words of my friends so long ago, “I am so sorry he won’t allow you to love him.” Have become a gage for me, a gage that reminds me not to do that to God, but to allow His love into my heart no matter how frightened I may feel trusting in His love and that He will never abandon me.

Baton Rouge Entering Canaan

 

 

St John VIanney

 

 

“The great miracle of the Curé d'Ars,” someone has said, “was his confessional, besieged day and night.” It might be said with equal truth that his greatest miracle was the conversion of sinners.

Today is the Feast Day of St John Vianney known for his mortifications, sermons and confessions. He is often known as the “priests, priest”.

Today especially, may we pray for our priests, thanking God for them for bringing us the sacraments, and for perserverance in their vocations.