Reclaiming Our Children

Engraved in the wound of His heart

 

There are very few of us who have not struggled with a relationship that perhaps ended after many

years, and the deep, soul wrenching pain it has caused.  It was a relationship, we believed was born out

of trust, and one in we shared the very depths of our soul. Sadly, what we thought was, and the reality

of the relationship, turned out to be two very different things.

Looking back, we can now see the signs were there. We may even have been warned by some good

friends, but we chose to ignore what was before us, because we truly loved and wanted to believe in the

love we thought was there for us as well.

Over the years, we may have made the choice to forgive a million times. Maybe it is particularly difficult, because it is a relationship that we will never be able to be completely separated from. It is always before us in some form. This allows not only continuing wounds, but it makes it harder for the ones that are there to heal. Each new event reflects the depth of the pain we experience with each new “stab” of the heart because we allowed the relationship so deeply into our heart and our wounds.

In some ways, we may be thankful for this experience, because it has drawn us closer to God who sees all things and knows our hearts.  He suffers right alongside us, teaching us much about His love and forgiveness. He asks us to share in His sufferings, and shows us how He too, was betrayed and abandoned by friends. He wants us to grow in love. We too fall short, and others have suffered from our failings.

Without His grace, it all would be too much for us, for it surely tempts our deepest wounds to despair, but we come to learn Christ is in those wounds with His love and mercy, and it is there He comforts and teaches us.

After years of suffering and still feeling the sting of the pain of the relationship, we may come to finally accept that this deep wound will be with us forever in this life. A cross we will carry with His help alone, to heaven.

This He asks for souls. Our humanness wants to cast off this cross, but our spiritual side embraces and loves it out of love for Him.

 In a passage from the diary of St Faustina, Jesus tells her:

Be not afraid of your Savior, O sinful soul. I make the first move to come to you, for I know that by yourself you are unable to lift yourself to Me. Child, do not run away from your Father; be willing to talk openly with your God of mercy who wants to speak words of pardon and lavish His graces on you. How dear your soul is to Me! I have inscribed your name upon My hand; you are engraved as a deep wound in My Heart (Diary, 1485).

He knows how weak we are. Yes, we wound the heart of Jesus, as our own heart has been wounded, even worse.  Sadly, we continue to do that until the day we die, but He has chosen not to cast us off but to continue to love us unconditionally, engraved as a deep wound in His heart.

The pain of a lost relationship calls us to do the same if we chose to follow Him.  This of course, does not mean opening ourselves up to being treated badly, but it does mean offering up the pain for souls and for the very relationship that caused the wound.  To cherish the gift of suffering with Christ, embracing the cross out of love, His love.

It isn’t easy. There will still be many times we will want to toss the cross far away from us, but in those times, we should try to remember that we are engraved in the wound of His heart and we must in turn, engrave the relationship as a deep wound in our heart. We must choose to continue to love despite the pain.  and pray for the grace to share in this suffering to love Christ more and more.

Pebble in My Shoe

Very powerful blog..not too many posts but so beautiful and honest.

The date I see is 2016

I wonder how she is doing....If you see this, I'd love to know

We never got to meet – Mourning for the child you never got to meet (wordpress.com)

 

 

The Abortion Minefield

For people who have had an abortion the holidays can be a mine field of abortion connectors

I know, it has been that way for me many years, sometimes more intense than others, but always a lingering dread in the recesses of my heart, a darkness that enfolds me, some years for a minute, other times for days.

I have not felt it in a few years, but as we come upon Thanksgiving it seems , this year, to have taken on a life of its own

Perhaps it’s because Thanksgiving has been cancelled in our family. Covid is making the rounds. Perhaps its because so much is going on in the world and a few friends are near death. I think however, for me, in part, this cancellation is a trigger for being abandoned by my family and coerced into abortion many years ago right around this time of year.

Abortion connectors can be very powerful triggers

They can bring up an intense isolation and dread even though there are invites and the love of many around me.

On a human level there is an unfillable space in this life in the core of my being that cries out in this world, in desperation, a desperation for my unborn son. It demnds to be axcknowledged .A yearning to embrace him where he should be, here with me.

I have learned over the years there is only one place to go with this pain. Only one person who can fill the yearning of my soul ,who can sit there with me at the cross willing to share the pain with me until it is replace by His love and His peace.

I am learning more and more all the time to join my sufferings to Christ. To allow him to suffer with me and me with him. To offer up the suffering for the salvation of souls, especially those separated from God because of abortion.

Beyond the pain and sadness that may come to me, I am blessed to be able to see the light of Christ who came to earth to redeem us from the darkness of sin, lighting the way to His mercy and peace and filling me with joyful anticipation.

For me, this is the greatest thing to be grateful for not only onThanksgiving but everyday.

Blessed Thanksgiving to you all!

A Place of Victory

Afraid to go to confession? God i waiting to give you His forgiveness and love.

 

 

 

Embracing Abandonment

 

If I had to pick one thing that impacted my life more than anything else, it would be the

abandonment of my parents when I became pregnant at 17. I had certainly played many

scenarios in my head as to how they would react when I told them the news, but because of our

Catholic faith, the one thing I did not consider was being thrown out of the house cut off from all

I knew and loved, and then pressured to abort my child.

 

Abandonment is a terrible thing. The demise of all love by those who you thought loved you

most, taking with it any flicker of hope you may have been holding on to. It extinguishes the

flame of life in a soul.

 

Alone, homeless and jobless and having nowhere to go, through that act of abandonment, I

gave in to the abortion. I remember it feeling like I was thrown into the dark abyss, drowning,

and although I did not want to abort it seemed to me at the time that it was the only option I had.

Sadly, even after giving in, the abandonment was still there and so I found myself with no family

and now living with the horrific fact that I had also participated in the death of my unborn son.

It was through this human experience that the fear of abandonment took hold of my life. A

paralyzing fear that infiltrated all aspects of my life, intensified by the fact that I had ultimately

also abandoned myself and my unborn child.

 

Life was a living hell ruled by my emotions and fears. Every argument was the end of a

relationship, (end it before they can abandon you) if I even allowed myself to be engaged in

one, which of course included friendships. I was terrified to let anyone in, for fear of being

abandoned again. It was a sad and lonely existence ruled by depression, anxiety and fear.

I like to say that it was, in the end, through this dark experience that I was brought into my faith,

I believe, by the intercession of my son Joshua whom I aborted.

 

My desperation eventually led me back to the church as a last resort. Through good spiritual

direction and instruction in the faith, I developed a relationship with the only one who can heal,

Jesus Christ.

 

It was a struggle learning to trust in His love for me. How do you trust someone you cannot even

see when those who you could see and were supposed to love you abandoned you? As I grew

in my faith and relationship with God, my trust grew as well. Through my healing from abortion,

this terrible sin which had brought me to the depths of despair, I knew what He had done for me

and so fought myself and my emotions to love and trust Him. To willingly abandon myself to

Him.

 

I will always carry the scar of my earthly abandonment. To this day, over 50 years later, the

devil still tries to use this ploy to get me to abandon my faith, or fall into despair. The difference

now, however is, that I have come to embrace abandonment. Instead of a dreaded place,

through my faith it has become the place where I meet the living God who gives me His

unconditional love and never abandons me.

 

What a paradox of our faith! That in embracing that which we fear, by trusting in, and

abandoning ourselves to the will of God, no matter what it is, or how it looks, we free ourselves

to live and love in the peace of Christ. This is accomplished, sometimes still, through great pain.

Embracing Abandonment

 

The difference comes because we love Him and trust in His love for us, and His desire for our

salvation.

 

And so, I embrace abandonment. I dare to say a part of me even loves it, for it is there that I

intimately converse with Our Lord, who also experienced abandonment but trusted in the love of

God our Father, following His will which always leads to heaven.

What Went Wrong? The Elections from a Post Abortive Perspective

 

Last Wednesday, I read the striking headlines all morning.
I saw the pictures of jubilant women posted on front pages of newspapers, triumphantly dancing, and smiling as they celebrated what they saw as a victory. The enshrining of the killing of their unborn children all nine months of pregnancy in the state of Ohio.

 

 

 

Here is just a sample of some of what I read:

             Virginia Democrats Fend Off Republican Sweep in Win for Abortion Rights (Bloomberg)
             Abortion issues burn GOP again, as Democrats take a big election night (ANALYSIS ABC)
             Abortion issues burn GOP again (MSN)
             Ohio Vote Continues a Winning Streak for Abortion Rights (NYT)
             Pro-Life Cause Suffers Losses in Ohio and Other States in 2023 Elections
    

You get the picture.

I  also read the heartbreak of those who worked so hard to try to get “no” votes in Ohio.
I have received emails telling me how Ohio needs lots of prayers and begging Gods mercy on them, but I am convinced it is ALL OF US who need to beg for Gods mercy.

In the past ten days I have had five new people reach out to us for healing from abortion. Four of the
five have been carrying around the pain of an abortion for decades. Considering that, how is it that this measure passed when so many are suffering?

As I looked at the smiling faces of those celebrating their so-called victory in the news, I did not think of the joy they were trying to portray. Having worked in the post abortion ministry for three decades, I know better. Instead, I know their need to deny their pain and their desperation to continue to make abortion look like a normal act.

I thought instead of their inability to process the truth of what they have done and their distance from God who they feel could never forgive them. Without that hope they have nowhere else to go, except to those who promote abortion and tell them it is a normal part of life and a right. Then, I thought of the millions and millions of souls lost to God because of abortion. Mothers, fathers, abortionists, etc. Millions of souls.

We often see pictures of Jesus or Mary weeping, holding the body of an aborted baby, but there is another picture that needs to be painted. One of Mary surrounded by countless numbers of aborted babies, all of them looking down with her at the destruction abortion has had on their mothers and
fathers. I see them longing and praying for their healing.

I may have missed it, but I did not see one ad for Ohio reaching out to those who have had abortions, acknowledging their pain and giving them hope of healing. Yes, I saw the ads with unborn, and those women who have died, and babies who survived, (all good), but I did not see one thing speaking to the hearts of those who have had them and may be living in silent suffering.

Until we recognize the millions of walking wounded in our country, and begin to speak to their hearts, not just because we want to end abortion, but because we care about them and their healing, abortion is never going to end.

Jesus came to call sinners. He asks us to share in the role of redemption by manifesting His love and mercy. Not false compassion that waters down the sin, calling it “pregnancy loss” as if we had nothing to do with it, but true compassion. Compassion is often difficult at times if it is grounded in truth and love.

A compassion that genuinely cares about the salvation of souls and speaks not only the truth of abortion but the truth of Gods mercy and love, bringing them to Christ.

In the end, there were no winners from this election. Like the Pharisees we are all losers for distinct reasons.

May we all take on the attitude of the tax collector who sat at the back of the temple beating his breast knowing what a sinner he was and trusting in the love and mercy of God.

 

A Message from Fr Fidelis,CFR

We are very grateful for another beautiful Pro Life Holy Hour tonight. Deacon Paul  Kucharski filled in for Fr Fidelis Moscinski, CFR, who is serving time in federal prison in Louisiana for a rescue he did on Long Island. 

The Deacon gave us encouragement in this time when many are feeling discouraged, reminding us that God is God and always caring for and loving us. We may not see what He is doing but we can always trust in His care for us.

An added grace was a note Father Fidelis sent to me for those who attend the Holy Hour each month. Although it was written before yesterdays elections it is filled with wisdom and I wanted to share it with all of you. It is a testament to perseverance, love, hope and sacrifice for the salvation of souls and end of abortion.

I am so grateful for the gift of Fr Fidelis to us.

Please keep him and the rescuers in DC (Joan, John, Will, Jean, Lauren, Jonathan, Garth & Paulette)in prayer, as well as their families who are also sacrifices so much.

11/6/23

Dear friends,

I very much wish that I could be with you all for this Pro-Life Holy Hour. But I am currently at a federal prison camp in Louisiana. Thanks to your prayers for me I am doing very well. Last week I was able to offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass for the first time in four months. Allow me to share a few thoughts with you tonight.

At our baptism we were marked with "the seal of the living God" (Rev. 7:2). This means that we belong to Him and are under His protection. But this spiritual mark also commits us to a life of penance and intercession. We are those mentioned in Ezechiel 9:4. "And the Lord said to him, 'Pass through the city, through Jerusalem, and put a mark on the foreheads of the people who sigh and groan over all the abominations that are committed in it.'"

We sigh and groan over the sin of abortion. We plead with God to convert sinners, show them mercy and heal them. We beg Him to cleanse our land which is polluted with the blood of the innocent. Our loving Father will definitely hear and answer these prayers.

Let us persevere, patiently enduring every suffering that comes our way. We are sustained by the grace of Jesus Christ and the Immaculate Heart of Mary; and we await the day when God will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death or mourning, crying, or pain, for the old order has passed away (Rev 21:4).

May Almighty God bless you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, + and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

--Fr. Fidelis Moscinski, CFR

An Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance & Intercession

Looking for something to do at your parish that will join people in prayer and intercession and educate as to the far reaching impact of abortion on our society?

This reflection was written by someone who participated in a recent "An Afternoon of Prayerful Remembrance" on October 7th in Naples, Florida.

 

Reflecting on an Afternoon of Healing. 

Acknowledgement. Support. Forgiveness. Healing. A powerful, emotional, and insightful day of Prayerful Remembrance and Intercession occurred at St. John the Evangelist Church on October 7th. The wounds of abortion impact more than the women. Abortion is controversial, it is a difficult topic to discuss, it is emotional, it is far-reaching in our society.

No-one had a preconceived idea of how the day would unfold. However, by the end of the day, there was no doubt of the presence of the Irrevocable Love of God. The reading of actual testimonials from a counselor, grandparents, doctor, clergy, friend, father, sibling, and mother provided an intertwining,guilt-laden, penetrating story of the scars from abortion and the need to heal. 

The symbolism of floral arrangements placed at the altar provided additional meanings, such as White Poppy indicating consolation, Ferns symbolizing confidence and shelter, Purple Hyacinth indicating ‘forgive me’, Lily of the Valley reflecting tears of the Virgin Mary, Iris conveying faithful, White Heather as protection, Rosebud indicating an innocent heart, and Rose with Moss stating confessions of love.

Reflections, Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the Holy Sacrifice of Mass, a Mass for the Forgiveness of Sins brought further attention to the need for returning to our Lord, Jesus Christ to heal the widespread wounds of abortion. 

For all, believing in Jesus’ love and mercy will give us the courage to turn to our Lord for love, mercy, forgiveness and healing .

 

For information on bringing this to your area, and to order a manual email: [email protected]

you may also watch a video on the service here

Are the Souls of Aborted Children with the Lord?

ALETEIA

Theresa Bonopartis - published on 11/01/14 Aleteia

Pope Saint John Paul II and the International Theological Commission addressed this question.

The souls of the just are in the hand of God, and no torment shall touch them. They seemed, in the view of the foolish, to be dead; and their passing away was thought an affliction and their going forth from us, utter destruction. But they are in peace (Book of Wisdom 1:1-3).

I have always felt as though I have an army of souls of unborn babies supporting me in my work, interceding before God. I pray to them always to obtain the graces I need to do this work of leading souls to Christ and healing. In the beginning, it was just my own son whose presence I felt, but as the years have passed, I know there are millions of souls, a whole army, behind the work, constantly interceding and praying for the healing and reconciliation of their families.

Many, I now know by name. I even pray in front of clinics where I know they have died. It is no longer “babies die here,” but Sally’s baby, Chris, died here, or Tom’s baby, Mary. There is a personal connection to both the child and the parent.

Many argue about the status of the souls of aborted babies. Some think there is no chance that they are in heaven because they have not been baptized.  But, like the Holy Innocents, I believe theirs is a baptism of blood and that Our Merciful Savior and His Mother embrace them at their death.

Pope Saint John Paul II tells those who have lost a child to abortion in The Gospel of Life:

You will come to understand that nothing is definitively lost and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from your child, who is now living in the Lord (no. 99, original edition).

I remember the first time I heard those words “nothing is definitively lost,” it stirred up in me a hope of one day being with my child. We are made for heaven, for eternal life with the Lord. Our time here is limited and thanks to His mercy we can reconcile ourselves to Him and to our children.

Years later, the Vatican changed the sentence in no. 99 of The Gospel of Life – the one that had given so much consolation to women grieving over the loss of an unbaptized child, whether through miscarriage, stillbirth or abortion. It seems that theologians thought John Paul had gone too far in stating that unbaptized children were “living in the Lord,” implying that they were in heaven.   

This sentence was replaced by one that speaks of God’s mercy and yet leaves open the possibility that unbaptized infants may not be with the Lord: “To the same Father and his mercy you can with sure hope entrust your child.” It’s no small thing to hope in the Father’s mercy, of course, but the thought of even the possibility of eternal separation from one’s child is more than many mothers can bear.

Thankfully, in 2007, Pope Benedict XVI approved a statement by the International Theological Commission (ITC) titled “The Hope of Salvation for Infants who Die without Being Baptized.” Although its endnote no. 98 approves the revised language in The Gospel of Life, the “Hope of Salvation” presents numerous reasons, drawn from Scripture and Tradition, why it is reasonable to hope these children are “living in the Lord.” In addition to the Church revering the Holy Innocents as saints, the Gospels of Matthew and Mark are filled with passages in which Jesus speaks lovingly of innocent children:

“Let the children come to me … for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 19:14; cf. Lk 18:15-16, ‘infants’); “Whoever receives one such in my name receives me” (Mk 9:37); “unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18:3); “Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Mt 18:4); “whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea” (Mt 18:6); “See that you do not despise one of these little ones; for I tell you that in heaven their angels always behold the face of my Father who is in heaven” (Mt 18:10). So the Church renews her commitment to show Christ’s own love and care for children (cf.
LG 11; GS 48, 50).”

In addition, they reason that (1) God’s grace is available to everyone and (2) that God does not ask us to do the impossible:

(God did not bind His power to the sacraments, so as to be unable to bestow the sacramental effect without conferring the sacrament). God can therefore give the grace of Baptism without the sacrament being conferred, and this fact should particularly be recalled when the conferring of Baptism would be impossible.
(Hope of Salvation, no. 82)

Of course, this does not make abortions ok. Abortion is never right or ok, but it does reveal the incredible mercy of a God who died for us, a God who allows us to reclaim what is lost through sin, in the light of His forgiveness and mercy.

 

Infants who suffer as they die may be likened to the suffering Christ and when they die by violence,  they may be said to be baptized by their blood.

“Baptism for salvation can be received either
in re or
in voto,” meaning that a desire by an adult to be baptized in efficacious. When the sacrament of baptism is conferred on a child, “the Church professes her faith and intercedes powerfully for the infant, supplying the act of faith that the infant is unable to make.” By the same token,  if “an unbaptised infant is incapable of a
votum baptismi, then by the same bonds of communion the Church might be able to intercede for the infant and express a
votum baptismi [baptism by desire] on his or her behalf that is effective before God” (no. 98). 

I believe I will meet my son Joshua one day, and all the other babies whose parents I have been so very blessed to meet through this work. As we are embraced by the love and mercy of God, I believe we will learn how crucial the prayers and intercession of our children have been to uniting souls to God, a God who brings good out of all things, even the most terrible sins, if we allow Him to, God
– whose desire is to reconcile us to Himself – will allow us to embrace our children and to live together for eternity praising Him for His mercy.

Theresa Bonopartis
is the director of the post-abortion  healing program Lumina and co-developer of the “Entering Canaan” post abortion ministry model.