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Reprint from 2019
If only the Church would leave women alone, there would be no guilt after abortion. Men, too, could send their babies to their deaths and not give it a second thought. All would be well in Abortionland.
Or so pro-abortion activists would have us believe. Are they right? Of course not.
Defenders of abortion refuse to publicly acknowledge the terrible guilt men and women suffer after aborting their children. This is a logical extension of their illogical refusal to acknowledge that abortion is the destruction of human life.
They are playing a game of smoke and mirrors. One need not even be "religiously inclined" to see that abortion is not a religious issue, it’s a human-rights issue.
I know about the guilt problem firsthand. After having an abortion as a teenager, I suffered emotionally and began down a long, destructive road. I picked a spouse who had an alcohol problem. I did not think I deserved to be loved or treated well by anyone. The marriage ended, and I struggled through single parenthood, raising two sons on my own, with no support.
My faith not only got me through, but I also raised two great guys who lead fulfilling and productive lives. As far as I know, no one calls single parenthood a “religious issue.”
Oftentimes, we post-abortive people of faith feel we have to apologize for our faith. I, for one, refuse to apologize for the role my faith has played in my life, whether it comes to healing after abortion or any other issue. My faith is not a problem that instills guilt in me. It is a gift that brings me life.
My mom suffered with Alzheimer’s Disease for many years. It was a great trial for those of us who cared for her. She was gone long before she physically died, and it was very painful to watch a woman who never had a single hair out of place walk out of the bathroom with lipstick all over her face. It would have been easy to despair. It was heart-wrenching to lose her to such a humiliating disease, but it was my faith that got me through those times. As far as I know, no one says Alzheimer’s Disease is a “religious issue.”
There is no doubt my faith has seen me through some hard times and some joyous times. It is part of who I am, but it is not why I suffered psychologically after my abortion. I suffered because I took the life of my unborn child.
Recently, a student from the Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism asked me if I felt guilt after my abortion because I had returned to church. I replied, “No, it was not on my return to church that made me feel guilty. I felt guilt over killing my unborn child. I felt guilt because I saw my dead son lying on the bed beside me as a result of a saline abortion.”
Most post-abortive women and men come back to church, or to faith for the first time, because they are filled with guilt and shame and are searching for peace. It is there that they find it, God’s mercy.
Most women do not see their aborted child. They are shielded from the horror, but they know just the same what has happened.
How is it that those who are pro-abortion think religious faith can instill guilt, while participating in the death of an innocent child has no such power?
How is it that they decry deaths from illegal abortions in other countries, but stay silent when women die here?
How is it they refuse to acknowledge the pain countless women experience after abortion, yet are more than willing to acknowledge emotional stress before abortion?
Why is the pain of guilt never a religious issue before abortion, but always an issue after an abortion, when the result is not what pro-abortion activists would like?
No, it is not my Catholic faith that made me feel guilt and shame and all the other emotions I lived with for years. It was my innate call to motherhood. My humanness.
In fact, it was my faith that saved me. God helped me heal and be whole again.
Why would I ever apologize for that?
*******
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An oldie and beyond goodie..another gem from Dave:
By David C. Reardon, Ph.D.
Editor’s Note: In previous issues of The Post-Abortion Review(Spring 1995 and Fall 1995) we examined the role of despair in driving women and men toward choosing abortion and then in holding them back from healing after an abortion. I have been reminded by readers that I had promised at that time to provide a third installment dealing with the issue of how we can have Scriptural confidence in the belief that aborted children are not deprived the joy of Heaven.
Aborted children have been deprived of baptism. They never had the opportunity to know or accept Christ as their Lord. How sure can we be that they are really in Heaven? Though seldom discussed, this is a theological question that is extremely important to the parents of aborted children and to pro-lifers in general. The answer to this question will shape how we view ourselves, others, and our priorities in the pro-life movement.
As previously discussed in this series of articles, a history of abortion can be a major stumbling block for women and men who turn back to God. At first, Satan will seek to deprive women and men the peace of God’s forgiveness by aggravating their fear that God cannot forgive them.. If this temptation to despair fails, Satan will attack the repentant parent’s peace of mind with the fear that even if God can forgive them, their aborted and unbaptized children have been deprived of Heaven.
This fear that unbaptized infants will be denied Heaven is also used by Satan to build a wall of separation and prejudice between pro-lifers and women and men with a history of abortion. Not a few Christians have coldly turned their backs on women and men who have had abortions, believing that by their sins they have forever deprived God of the souls of their unborn children. Such Christians do not wish these parents ill, but they cannot quite bring themselves to offer them comfort, either. Their hearts are simply so burdened with dismay over the “lost souls” of aborted children that they have no sympathy left over for their guilty parents. It is important for such believers to open their hearts to the possibility, or even the convincing evidence that God has saved the unborn victims of abortion.
A greater faith among believers in God’s salvation of aborted babies is important for two reasons. First, once all members of Christ’s Body accept that aborted babies “live in the arms of Christ,” the lingering sense of anger and resentment toward those who have aborted will finally be dissipated. Second, as the dead are entrusted to God’s providence, there will be a renewed concern for the living–for those women and men who suffer the guilt of abortion. It is then that our efforts to promote post-abortion healing will not only be easier, they will also be more compelling.
The Issue: The Necessity of Baptism
The question of salvation for the unborn arises from an interpretation of Christ’s solemn pronouncement to Nicodemus that “no one can enter into God’s kingdom without being begotten of water and the Spirit” (John 3:5). The necessity of baptism is further supported by Christ’s statement, “The man who believes in it [the good news] and accepts baptism will be saved; the man who refuses to believe will be condemned” (Mark 16:16). Note, however, that condemnation is pronounced for those who refuseto believe. Nothing is said regarding those who have not had the opportunity to believe. Indeed, we are also told that no one will be judged guilty simply because of his or her ignorance (John 9:41).
What are we to make of this, then? Baptism by water is clearly the way God has given the Church for bringing new members into His Body. When it can be done, it ought to be done. However, God’s mercy is not limited by human failings, nor are His means limited by the physical reality which defines human interaction. Indeed, it is clear in Scripture that God has at least one other way of bringing sanctifying grace to those who have died without having the opportunity to receive baptism by water.
The most obvious example of unbaptized persons who were saved is that of the Old Testament saints, including the patriarchs, the prophets, and untold others. For the sake of these departed, Christ went in death to preach to them “in prison” (1 Peter 3:19) so that they “might live in the spirit in the eyes of God” (1 Peter 4:6). Yet another example is shown in the good thief, who followed Jesus into Paradise (Luke 23:42-44) without the benefit of baptism by water.
In fact, early Christians generally recognized that martyrs who died for the faith before they have the opportunity to be baptized are reborn in a baptism by blood rather than water.(1) Baptism by either water or blood was recognized as having the same efficacy and the same source. This view was defended by the prominent Christian apologist Tertullian around 203 A.D., who wrote:
We have one and only one Baptism in accord with the Gospel (Eph. 4:4-6)…. [But there is] a second font, one with the former [water]: namely, that of blood, of which the Lord says: “I am to be baptized with a baptism” (Luke 12:50, Mark 10:38-39), when He had already been baptized [by water]. For He had come through water and blood, as John wrote (1 John 5:6), so that He might be baptized with water and glorified with blood. He sent out these two Baptisms from the wound in His pierced side (John 19:34), that we might in like manner be called by water and chosen by blood, and so that they who believed in His blood might be washed by the water. If they might be washed in the water, they must necessarily be so by blood. This is the Baptism which replaces that of the fountain, when it has not been received, and restores it when it has been lost.(2) [Italics added.]
Tertullian’s argument that baptism by blood can be a substitute for baptism by water is further supported by the fact that Christ offered the sons of Zebedee the baptism of suffering as one with the cup of salvation (Mark 10:38-39). Furthermore, Scripture tells us that before Christ’s death, John’s baptism by water was only a baptism of repentance (Acts 19:4, Luke 3:3). It was only after Christ’s baptism in blood that the baptism of water was raised up to become a baptism with the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:5, John 16:7).
Clearly, then, the understanding that God has a means to save those who through no fault of their own have been denied the opportunity of baptism by water is not novel. Indeed, it is revealed by Scripture. Therefore, if we are to properly interpret Christ’s insistence on baptism by water, we must admit that it is a binding command on the living, while recognizing that this precept does not preclude God from offering some other spiritual means of rebirth for those who die without this opportunity. What this way is has not been fully revealed. On the other hand, since it is a spiritual baptism which is outside the responsibilities of believers on earth, it is not something about which we need to know the details. It is enough for us to know that it is possible. Once this truth is recognized, we can then confidently trust God’s mercy and justice.
God’s Special Love for Children
We know as part of our revealed faith that God desires the salvation of all (1 Tim. 2:4, Rom. 8:32) and that His mercy endures forever (Psalm 136). Though all are stained by original sin, all whom Christ claims for Himself will live in Him (1 Cor. 15:22-23). That Christ should not claim the unborn as His own is unimaginable, contrary to both reason and revelation. Furthermore, Paul teaches that God’s mercy and providence extend even to the unborn, who have done neither good nor evil (Rom. 9:11), and Christ himself repeatedly expressed His special love of infants and children.
And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them. But Jesus called them, and said, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God” (Luke 18:15-16).
See how Jesus describes Heaven; it is filled with infants such as these! And are not His words a warning against those who would forbid these children entry into His heavenly kingdom? And look at yet another occasion:
[The disciples asked Jesus:] “Who is of greatest importance in the kingdom of God?” He called a little child over and stood him in their midst and said: “I assure you, unless you change and become like little children, you will not enter the kingdom of God…. See that you never despise one of these little ones. I assure you, their angels in Heaven constantly behold my heavenly Father’s face…. Just so, it is no part of your heavenly Father’s plan that a single one of these little ones shall ever come to grief” (Matt. 18:1-2, 10, 14).
Other renderings of this last line are that none of these little ones should ever “perish” or be “lost.” These passages suggest a promise of universal salvation for the innocents, for (1) they are numbered among those of greatest importance in God’s kingdom, (2) their angels pray for them before the Father, and (3) the Father wills that none of them should be lost. Notice also that the small child standing before Christ, to whom He pointed as an example, was unbaptized.
Reason, too, demands our acknowledgment of God’s saving grace for the unborn. Christ’s love is so great that He died to bring salvation to sinners who deserve nothing (Romans 5:6-9). Yet, if He would save sinners like us, would He not do at least as much, if not more, for the unborn who have not sinned?(3) Of course He would. Those who doubt it must defend the absurd notion that God’s judgments are less merciful than human judgments.
the rest: http://afterabortion.org/1997/trusting-gods-mercy-for-unborn-children/
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On December 14th Fr Justin Cinnante, O'Carm, directed an Entering Canaan Advent retreat day on "St Therese's Christmas Miracle"
For those of you unfamiliar with the miracle which she stated was life changing, I am posting the content:
When I got home to Les Buissonnets from Midnight Mass, I knew that I should find my shoes standing at the fireplace, filled with presents, as I had always done since I was little, so you can see I was still treated as a baby.
Father used to love to see how happy I was and hear my cries of delight as I took each surprise packet from my magic shoes, and his pleasure made me happier still. But the time had come for Jesus to cure me of my childishness; even the innocent joys of childhood were to go. He allowed Father to feel cross this year, instead of spoiling me, and as I was going upstairs, I heard him saying: “Therese ought to have outgrown all this sort of thing, and I hope this will be the last time.” This cut me to the quick, and Céline, who knew how very sensitive I was, whispered to me: “Don’t come down again just yet; you’ll only go and cry if you open your presents now in front of Father.”
But I was not the same Thérèse any more; Jesus had changed me completely. I held back my tears, and trying to stop my heart from beating so fast, I ran down into the dining room. I picked up the shoes and unwrapped my presents joyfully, looking all the while as happy as a queen. Father did not look cross anymore now and entered into the fun of it, while Céline thought she must have been dreaming. But this was no dream. Thérèse had gotten back forever the strength of mind she had lost at four and a half.
So how does this tie into healing from abortion? sometimes abortion canmake us selfcentered and self occupied. We are so caught up in the trauma of the abortion and
the hurts weexperience that we are unable to see beyond ourselves. while it is important and cruicial to look at our abortion experience, it is so we can learn from it. so we can identify the hurts, the people we need to forgive, our personal abortion connectors, so that we canmove through life without thisexperience impacting all that we do.
St Therese's Christmas miracle helped her to stop focusing on herself and her emotions after the trauma of losing her mother. She acquired the strength she needed to move beyond the hurts and give herself to God and others in love. This is not aneasy task and can take time, but God longs to free us. This does not mean we will never feel tempted to fall into past behaviors, but it doesmean we are aware of what is taking place and we are able to change our responses to certain situations.
Jesus longs to free us -
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Being Post Abortive in the Advent and Christmas Seasons
I can still remember it as if it were yesterday, making Christmas stockings for my nieces and nephews the Christmas immediately following my abortion. That was over 40 years ago, yet I remember those stockings vividly; the materials, the graphics, the pain of sewing them together as I thought of my son who would be missing from the Christmas celebration.
That agonizing pain did not leave as the years went on, although I must admit, I went into such deep denial, I was not aware that my lack of joy was a result of my abortion. Society did not acknowledge my pain and grief, and so, in order to survive, I pressed them into the recesses of my mind, and like everyone else, denied their existence.
Over the years, no matter what my situation in life, Christmas was a time of turmoil, a dreaded event, even with the birth of other children. Many Christmas eves were spent crying, as I set up toys, not really understanding why I was feeling the way I was. This was supposed to be a time filled with joyful expectation, but I was anything but joyful.
When I finally found someone to help me through my healing process, I began to see the reason for my sadness and everything began to make sense. My “no” to life became magnified by Mary’s “yes”. I also was all too aware of the absence of toys that would never be brought by Santa and placed under our tree for my aborted son. The emptiness of the space at the family holiday table seemed to scream at me. There was no room for the birth of Jesus in the stable of my heart. It was deadened because of my sin.
In time, through counseling, prayer and a great spiritual director, I learned to take my eyes off of the “me” in Christmas, and instead turn my gaze to “Him”, Jesus Christ. As healing came, I meditated on the mystery of the Incarnation instead of my abortion, and instead of focusing on what was missing in human terms, I turned my gaze to the spiritual, Mercy Himself!
Instead of a dreaded holiday, Christmas became the opening chapter of the means of my salvation. God come to earth as an infant to take our sins, even my sin of abortion, upon Himself so that we may be saved. Mercy Himself was born and through His life, death and resurrection the gates of heaven were opened to repentant sinners
There have been over 53 million abortions in the United States since 1973. As the Catholic Bishops call for increased outreach to those post abortive, let us be ever mindful of the countless women and men who have not yet found healing and with St Faustina proclaim to them, “How great is the Mercy of God contained in the Mystery of the Incarnation of the Son of God!”!
Jesus we trust in you!
“In this way God shows that He is merciful towards humanity, and filled with love for us. He is God-with-us: do you believe this?” Pope Francis
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Know someone suffering from a past abortion. This book of meditations, "The Journey to HealingThrough Divine Mercy", is a healing balm for those struggling with a past abortion.
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This past Sunday Good Counsel hosted a brunch for their Lumina Program, who holds Entering Canaan Retreats for women,men and siblings,and does trainings for lay and clergy, and talks and workshops to reach out to those hurting because of abortion and educate people on the dynamics of abortion.
Fr Fidelis encouraged me to post this talk I gave that day in order for more people to be able to hear it.
You can watch Father's talk and mine here: https://share.icloud.com/photos/0d5aEsMfE406I4UEilU-AhBgQ
I am also posting the text for those who do not want to watch.
12/8/24 brunch (T Bonopartis)
Thank you all for being here.
Chances are, some of you have probably already heard this story.
Many years ago, the USCCB asked me to write my healing testimony from an abortion I had as a teenager. It was to be put in the packet that they send out every year to all the parishes for Respect Life month.
Then, one day, a few months later, a box was delivered to me. When I opened it up there were about five hundred copies of my witness which they had titled “Divine Mercy in my Soul,” the same name as the diary of St Faustina.
I was mortified. I immediately thought “no one will know I did not give it this name, what will they think??? How could they name the story of my horrific saline abortion the same name as the biography of this saint of mercy?”
This was going out to all the diocese in the USA!
I panicked.
I called my spiritual director at that time hoping he would help me find a way to stop this- to pull them all back in, but I got a response much different than what I had expected “Theresa, he said, to me, it is divine mercy in your soul- accept it in humility “
When I was asked to be honored here today, I felt pretty much the same way as I did that day when I opened that box of my witness. It made me super uncomfortable. How can I, someone participated in the horrific death of my unborn son be “honored”? It just seems so ridiculous!
Then I realized that is exactly the point- I remembered the words of St Paul in 1 Timothy 1:15 “This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worse.”
That here is a woman so broken by the sin of abortion, someone who still struggles at times with its impact, and yet He has and continues to use me.
Amid my own brokenness, my own journey to healing, He has given me His love and the courage to proclaim His great mercy- to share what He has done and continues to do in my life with countless other souls suffering in one way or another the devastation of abortion, in the quest of giving them hope in His mercy. A mercy I know to be true.
By His grace, to pass on the tools I have learned, physically, psychologically, and spiritually and, accompany them on their own journeys to Canaan, where they meet many others along the way who can also share their journeys and experiences.
To defeat the evil and demonic lie that abortion is the unforgivable sin which has entrapped millions, by bringing them to know on a personal level, the mercy and love of Jesus Christ who died on the cross for each of our sins- even the sin of abortion. That we can go to Him in our brokenness in our wounds, where he waits for us.
That this honor has nothing at all to do with me and what I have done, but everything to do with Him and what He has done for me.
I have been doing this work for over 30 years. I often think if we all could see the devastation of even one abortion and how it has impacted our country and our world, we would not be able to handle it, but it is not one abortion it is over 64 million and it’s not only the unborn, but it has impacted every single one of us.
I could go on and on with endless scenarios I have heard over the years.
The prolife movement does a wonderful job of trying to save the unborn and in turn, saving countless others from a lifetime of regret, but we often blindly step over those lying on ground bleeding from the wounds of abortion with no hope of forgiveness. We must always remember that Christ came to call sinners.
We just experienced an election where the right to abortion was a major issue that countless people, especially women, voted on. It’s hard to fathom how we got to the place where some people are so desperate to be able to kill their unborn children that abortion was their most critical issue.
But I get it –
For over 50 years society has proclaimed abortion a source of freedom and denied its negative consequences, consequences that millions of women live with leaving them feeling crazy and alone. Society as a whole has been duped and more and more people are seeing the reality of abortion and its damage because we see it impacting people we love.
Just think. Now, we are saying, “oops! Maybe we were wrong.”
How do those who had abortions face now what they have done, killed their very own children, if they do not know the love and mercy of God? – The truth is, they can’t, and so they will rationalize, they will justify, they will march, and they will vote- they will do whatever they have to keep abortion ok and acceptable so they do not have to look at the reality of what it is, not health care, not a woman’s body or choice, but the death of an innocent life, their very child.
It is said that the pro-abortion movement just focuses on the women and pro-life most often on the babies- but the truth is they cannot be separated before or after abortion.
They belong together in God’s plan -it is not normal to kill your own child.
Sadly, many people still feel so judged by pro-lifers, and very often they are. I have been called a murderer countless times, even by some active in the pro-life movement, so, those who are post abortive hide their past because as one recently said to me “if they find out they will reject me.”
What does that say about us? What are we doing to reflect the face of Christ, to bring the message of God’s love and divine mercy to these souls who He wants reunited to him.
Dave Reardon of the Elliot Institute, which does post abortion research, says it best, “I honestly believe that, short of Christ’s return, God will not bring an end to the abortion holocaust until we Christian’s learn all that we are meant to learn, namely; a greater compassion for sinners.”(The Jericho Plan)
Last week we lost a living saint in the pro-life movement, Monsignor Reilly. I always loved Monsignore because I knew he got the whole picture.
""The reason we go out, he said, is not primarily to save the life of the child, though we want to do that, absolutely, but if that becomes our primary purpose we will become limited in what we will achieve and we are going to misunderstand why God wants us to be there. Our purpose will determine the instrument that you use, so if your purpose is to save the physical life of the child then you are going to measure your success on whether the physical life was spared. But the real purpose should be the salvation of souls..."
Msgr. Philip J. Reilly
We will never change the culture if we do not reach out to the millions of people touched by abortion, to bring them to the love and forgiveness of God, not to further an agenda we may have, but because they themselves have value and worth and we want their healing. They are children of God and He loves and waits for them despite the seriousness of the sin.
I have been blessed in more ways than I can express in doing this work. It is a work of standing at the cross, a place where the ultimate evil, and lack of love occurred, the death of purity and innocence – it is an appropriate place for the healing of abortion, another death of purity and innocence, but it is there we find the ultimate love and forgiveness that overcomes all evil. The place where Jesus amid this ultimate evil and lack of love continued to love and conquered sin and death-even the sin of abortion. This is the reason we await His coming in advent-because He comes into the world to pay the price for our sins, every single one of them.
It has been a gift to me to stand at the foot of the cross with Mary, under the title of OLC, the patroness of all I do in PA work.
There are so many to thank in addition to God, who He has put in my path to make this journey possible.
But most of all I want to thank all the people I have been blessed to meet over the years who have trusted me in their brokenness and sorrow. Who have shared their hearts with me and taught me to grow in love.
In the paradox of our faith, God brings good out of even the worst things. He used my aborted son Joshua whose innocent blood was shed to bring me - to Mary who then brought me to her son who shed his blood for my salvation. There at the cross they entrusted me with their work of spreading the news of the amazing mercy of God that is waiting for every single one of us no matter what the sin.
1 Tim 1:15,16 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners–of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.
As we continue into this season of Advent and on the eve of the beautiful Feast of the Immaculate Conception may we each open our hearts to the mystery of the incarnation and the limitless love of God the Father in sending His Son into the world to die for each of our sins and bring us to eternal life..
Jesus, we trust n You!
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There is so much to say about this video and healing from abortion.
So many of us spend our lives running from the reality and deep hurt we have experienced, the trauma. We try to "forget about it", to "move on", to live life as if it had never happened but that is impossible. Our children are dead and there is no way we will ever forget that.
We run from our brokenness thinking we have be be perfect to go to God and yet the opposite is true. We need to go to Him in our brokenness, to embrace our brokeness knowing He loves us right where we are.
Many of us struggle with forgiveness of others and ourselves in this journey.
It is so important to look at our experience of abortion, to learn our "connectors" so we understand what is happening to us in the present moment. To accept our wounds at the foot of the cross knowing Jesus is there waiting for us .
The journey is not easy and you have to want it, but it is so worth it. To work through the things that keep us from Gods love and communion with Him...He waits for us. It is the journey to Canaan and He and Mary will be with us every step of the way.
This is such a beautiful video by Father Mike Schmitz and Sr Miram James Heidland, SOLT
...please take the time to watch it.
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