One of the hardest things to do when it comes to working through an abortion is to admit to ourselves that we were even capable of having one to begin with.
There is a part of us that rebels at the thought and tries to find a reason to make ourselves unlike anyone else who has participated in one. Surely there is a reason, if not we would be just like those others and we do not want to believe that about ourselves. We want to find a reason that would make us different. That would almost give us an excuse and separate us from everyone else. Abortion is a hard thing to face.
It’s a normal response. In our human weakness we do not want to believe we could have ended the life of our child. But it is our very human weakness we need to learn to accept in order to heal.
At a recent retreat one of the participants voiced to me that she did not want to be part of the group. She did not want to be a woman who had an abortion. I get it. The truth is none of those who are involved in abortion recovery want to be part of the group, but we are and all the desire in the world to make it not so does not change that.
Many of us have tried to figure out how we got here, why me, how could this have happened, how could God have allowed it to happen? I call it the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve syndrome. A merry go round we need to get off if we truly desire healing.
While it is important to look at our abortion experience in order to identify what happened and our personal abortion connectors so that we can understand and heal, we should not really be shocked that we could have an abortion.
The truth is we are all sinners in need of God’s mercy, and we are all capable of any sin but for His grace.
None of us wants to be part of this group but as we heal, we come to see who its head is. Jesus Christ Himself in His mercy.
As terrible as it is, abortion is not who we are, it is something we have done. Who we are, is women of God, each with dignity and loved beyond comprehension.
As we venture in to healing, we are given the ability to venture into our experience because we are confronted with His love for us and His desire to make us whole. Through His words and the right psychological and spiritual direction to understand the very real dynamics of abortion we can embrace our woundedness, seek and accept forgiveness and allow Him to fill us with His love.
Yes, no one wants to be part of the abortion group, but Jesus Himself has paid our dues with His suffering, death and resurrection. Once we truly believe this, we are able to accept our membership in humility and gratitude.
Allow Him in to your heart in order to heal you…come home to His mercy this Lent!
