Reclaiming Our Children

The Love of the Heart of Jesus

I wanted to just be with Them, sitting in Their love resting there.

I had it all planned out- I knew exactly what I wanted.

But God taught me a lot the past few days. He taught me we are always just one drop of grace away from a fall.

That without Him we truly are nothing, and only He does any good that is in us.

I had gone to confession in preparation for the retreat . I was all set, but then I fell ( nothing mortal but a choice of sin). I learned more deeply both my nature of sin but also the immensity of His love and mercy. 

Most of all I was so sad for hurting Him. 

When I went to mass the day I was leaving to go on retreat I was under seige by the devil who tried to tell me not to receive Jesus in the Eucharist.
I knew it was not a mortal sin I had committed but also knew very clearly I had said no to God. I was filled with sorrow and perhaps I needed a dose of humility .

I thought of St Therese and some things she had said and I knew I had to fight the feelings and receive- that I needed Him more than ever.  

Right after mass I was told there was a picture for me in the sancristy. I went to pick it up and what was it? A smiling photo of St Therese  had lent to someone!  It was as if she were telling me she was happy I had received.

However, I was determined to go to confession again if I could and so I searched for a place who would have confessions in the middle of the week and I found one. 
The entire experience was life altering in many ways. 

To see how close we always are to sin if left to our own devices.
To feel the remorse so deeply
To humble myself to go to confession again in just a day.

I felt like Mary brushed me off covered my mess and took me to Jesus in the sacrament of reconciliation to tell Him I was sorry. Instead of reproach,  I did not feel condemnation, but His massive love for me, Their patience. The truth of who I am but also the truth of who He is.  Instead of  the rejection I experienced from my family, I knew that They would never reject me or abandon me.
It was both painful because I had hurt them, but amazingly beautiful because I truly experienced Their love for us no matter where we are in life.

 

We often go searching for healing. We can frantically search for ways to feel better looking for something to make us feel ok instead of just staying still. They are here, right here, right now, and if we give ourselves to Them they will provide all we need, maybe not as quickly as we want, but They know better than us what it takes to heal us and bring us to Their love. 

 

Healing from abortion can be difficult. There are so many dynamics, many we may not even come to know until decades after our abortion , but  They know and They are always working with us.

They are always desiring our healing, always loving us . Mary is always leading us to her Son. 

 

Stay Still in the love of the heart of Jesus. Rest there...love Him and allow Him to love you .

Little by little you will see the change, not based on your emotions, but on a faith that stays steady because you know without a doubt

of Their love for you!

 

We're always learning on this journey to God, going deeper and deeper into the wound, deeper and deeper into the love of the heart of Christ.

There is nothing you can look for that will ever be better than that!

 

 

PA Day Retreat

I healed from my abortion, but never considered my baby’s father’s pain… until now - Live Action

Guest Column

I healed from my abortion, but never considered my baby’s father’s pain… until now

By Theresa Bonopartis | June 16, 2025 , 12:47pm

 

 

 Share

 Tweet

 Email

Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the guest author.

It has been over 50 years since my abortion. I am convinced that trauma and evil so deep as abortion are not totally healed until we, by His grace, step into heaven. As someone who has been on this journey for decades, I can say there are ebbs and flows of healing. There are moments when you feel you have “arrived” and all is well, only to find Christ wants at some point to bring you deeper into the wound — to heal that part of yourself that you are unaware of, who reacts in the present because of the trauma of the past. 

It is all good, and although it may be painful still, there is trust and peace as you grow in His love and surrender to His will truly knowing His forgiveness and mercy. Very recently, I came upon one of those times.

A coerced saline abortion

My abortion happened when I was a teenager. I became pregnant and was kicked out of the house with no job, no money, no place to go — cut off from all I knew and loved. I was in my fourth month of pregnancy and although I did not want to abort, I caved in to the pressure and coercion of my father to take the life of my son.

Being in my second trimester, I underwent a saline abortion. I did not know about the development of my baby or anything that was going to happen. I remember the doctor coming in and injecting me with saline. Hours later I went into labor and gave birth to a dead baby boy who I can still see, to this day, lying on the bed next to me.

What about the father?

I remember years later, after healing, giving my testimony at a Divine Mercy Conference that my sister and her husband attended. When it was over my sister said to me, “Your talk was great, but what about Joe [the father of my baby]? You mention everyone else and healing, but you do not say anything about what happened to him.”

I had not spoken to Joe since that time years ago, and I honestly did not want to. Somehow, I had taken him out of the picture as if he had nothing to do with it all. I was too busy dealing with the trauma of my own experience and just did not think of him or the impact it may have had on him.

I always mentioned in my testimony that he had never asked me to abort. In fact, at first, we had spoken about marriage, but under the pressure of being kicked out and having no place to live and the coercion of my father to abort, I was unable to manage it all.

We began arguing and I remember telling Joe to please leave me alone. Being young and a kid himself — he did. And that was the end of it.

After the experience with my sister at the conference I prayed about what she had said. Not long after, a notice came out about our high school reunion and whose name was on the top of the list? Joe’s. I felt this was a clear sign that I was supposed to reach out to him — and I did.

I told him what happened. He apologized and shared that he had become addicted to drugs but was now over 20 years straight.

I shared with him how through my own healing experience I co-developed the Entering Canaan ministry – and how our son was a catalyst that has brought thousands to healing across the country. We ended the conversation cordially and that was that.

That is, until the recent death of Sly Stone. Joe is a musician, and at the time I became pregnant he was in a band that did covers of Sly and the Family Stone. When I read about Sly dying, I could not help but think of Joe. 

Then, I came across Live Action’s Face to Face video about men whose children were aborted against their will, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, I was young; yes, I was coerced — but yes, I had an abortion without taking Joe into account. I was suddenly filled with remorse.

The wide net of abortion’s devastation

In retrospect, I honestly don’t think I could have looked at all of this at the level I am doing now at a different time, to apologize for aborting our son. The entire thing was so horrific.

I needed to work through my own trauma of giving birth to my dead child, seeing him lying next to me, being in disbelief that this was even possible. There was a lot of self-hate to work through for being angry that I had caved to the pressures.

I needed to be confirmed in the love of God before I could face the fact that I was so absorbed in my own pain of abandonment by my family and then the abortion, that I did not have any consideration for Joe. 

The devastation and collateral damage of abortion casts a wide net. After 30 years of ministry I see its impact every day on those we serve. But as it says in the Gospel of Life #99, “nothing is definitively lost,” and “with sure hope” we can know our children are “living in the Lord.”

Through prayer and the prompting of Mary, who always leads us to her Son, Jesus Christ, I plan to reach out to Joe to apologize for aborting our son, to pray he already has or will develop a spiritual relationship with Him like the one I have — a relationship that will cumulate in heaven, where we will gaze upon the face of God.

And finally, healing will be complete.

LI Day Retreat

The Spirit of Hope

The Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth And Post Abortion Healing    

…The wound in your heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do not lose hope. Try rather to understand what happened and face it honestly…” The Gospel of Life  #99 

As we approach the Feast of Pentecost we are reminded of the transforming power of the Holy Spirit on the apostles. In an instant, men who had been hiding in the upper room, filled with fear and shame, became courageous disciples, proclaiming the Gospel throughout the region.   The gifts of the Holy Spirit, wisdom, knowledge, counsel, understanding, courage, reverence, and fear of the LORD allowed them to step outside of themselves, and the life of Christ to live in them, enabling them to see and live in truth, trusting that His Spirit would guide them. 

In the Gospel of Life, Pope John Paul II calls those of us who are post abortive to live in truth as well, “try to understand what happened and face it honestly”, but doing this is impossible if we do not know the love of Jesus Christ and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. Abortion is just too horrific to look at without the light of His love. Like the apostles before the coming of the Holy Spirit, we too are fearful, and so we hide in our self made “upper rooms” of our abortions, full of shame and afraid to stand in the truth.

It is only through the life of Christ and His Spirit that we receive the courage and understanding we need to work through our healing and proclaim the truth of abortion.   As we grow in our faith and healing, we begin to step out in trust. We learn God does not let us down, as perhaps many, including ourselves, did when we chose abortion, including ourselves.   We come to realize He is Truth and Mercy Himself, and His peace begins to dwell in us. Each gift of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, becomes a new opportunity for us to face our sinfulness in the light of the love of God and to grow not only in healing but in our relationship with Him.   It is not always easy. The ploys of the devil still attempt to create doubt in God’s mercy and forgiveness, but if you continue to trust in spite of what you feel, you will soon come to find the truth never lets you down and the truth, who is Jesus Christ Himself, will set you free. So, “Do not give in to discouragement and do not loose hope”. (The Gospel of Life). The hope of Christ, who freed us from our sins, even our sin of abortion, is there for each one of us through the gifts of His Holy Spirit.        

Fear of the Lord

The gift of Fear of the Lord helps us to know our dependence on God and His great love for us. In our human pride we often do not want to be dependent on anyone and so we reject Christs teachings .

This gift enables us to know His great love for us and His desire for our good. It also encourages us to meet Him in the Sacraments where we receive His body and forgiveness.

Lord, give us the gift of fear of the Lord, that we may be grateful for our dependence on you knowing you desire our forgiveness and healing.

Piety

The gift of piety allows us to love God. Most times we were living very far from His will and true love for Him when we had an abortion. Piety helps us to be faithful to God and others in the light of His teachings and to love Him more than sin

Lord, give us the gift of piety that we may love you with all our hearts, desiring your will more than the temptations we may face in life and in healing. Help us to recognize that this gift will strengthen our relationship with you and help us to grow in our healing.

Knowledge

The gift of knowledge helps us to know God’s will in our life. Very often we want healing “now” or we are determined to do things that may not be God’s will for us. May we always seek God’s will for our lives in the gift of knowledge so that we follow what He wants instead of our own wills.

Lord, we know that you alone know what is best for us. Give us your gift of knowledge that we may always know and follow Your will in healing.

Fortitude

Fortitude or the gift of courage enables us to speak the truth whether it is in a public or private setting. How difficult this is for those of us who have experienced abortion. Of course, this doe snot mean you have to walk around telling everyone you had an abortion. Some people may be called to public speaking but others may be called to sharing privately or speaking out for life in other ways. The important thing is that our fear not paralyze us  and keep us from the truth.  It helps us see the truth of the experience of abortion. 

It also gives us the courage to move forward in healing even when it is difficult, and encourages us to change our way of life in order to follow Christ, often contrary to the ways of the world.

Lord, give us the gift of fortitude, that we may always speak the truth of abortion in whatever way you ask of each of us. Help us to know that your gift will sustain us as we move forward in our healing.

Counsel

Many people do not want to seek  healing from abortion because they are ashamed and fearful  of what others may think. Counsel allows us to seek help
from others, whether it is in the Sacrament of Confession, through a therapist or an abortion ministry. The aide of others who are knowledgeable in healing from abortion allows us to obtain the tools we need on a spiritual and emotional level to acquire healing. It also helps us to discern right from wrong.

Lord, give us your Spirit of Counsel, that we may both seek out guidance in our healing and also be a light to those who come after us.